They Should Offer Their Faith!

After reading Chapter 11, the author's main problem is that key points are easily skipped. While the perspective completely follows the protagonist, it also blurs the protagonist's ability to counter-attack and the process of counter-attack. He is eager to stuff too many background settings in front, which will lead to the lack of exciting points and easily lose the audience. However, I still tend to give the author more trust in his descriptive ability after the story unfolds, because it is indeed better than the writing skills of many books in Qidian.

I feel like the writing is a bit verbose, like Japanese style and lighter.

A new book by a newcomer, an original different world, with an outline. I plan to write about three eras and slowly reveal the world view. Please read it, collect it, and recommend it. Thank you very much! Thank you Orz

How can I put it, the story about Rhodes is very attractive to me, but his agent is not attractive enough to me. The protagonist's nervousness and inner drama are completely accepted, and the supporting characters also go crazy and cannot empathize. There are a few moments where the main characters are opposite each other, and the writing is so literary that you can't be sure what happened. In fact, it is about an era when important things are happening (in the beginning), but the camera rarely zooms in. Instead, it focuses on the individual's heart, and the pace is slowed down and taken off track. It is recommended that there be a simple introduction to the background map at the beginning (or the protagonist will appear directly and explore slowly?), And some information about historical eras (don't put it all in the dialogue, it will test the reader's ability to collect information and reorganize it too much), which may attract more people to read. Focusing on Era and Rhodes, the agent's line should not be parallel to the main line, but should be used as a branch line (it can be parallel to other supporting character lines).

It's better to use less words like "man" and "old man". I think it's better to tell xxxx what he did and what he thought and how he did it.