What? My Chinese Textbook Has Mutated?

“What? You’re saying you became a cyberpunk sword immortal in ‘The Peach Blossom Spring’ and fought an AI? That you turned into a detective in ‘Inscription on a Humble Room’ and solved a locked-room murder? And that you became a sweet, caring guy in ‘The Ballad of Mulan’ and fell in love with Hua Mulan?” “That's right. Li Qingzhao is madly in love with me, Xin Qiji and I are sworn brothers, and Li Bai is my drinking buddy. Then there's Su Shi, you know him, right? He absolutely loves the Dongpo pork I make.” “You've got to be crazy.” “No, I'm not crazy. My Chinese textbook just mutated.”