Hogwarts: Dark Lord, Listen to My Excuses

Arthur, who traveled from the far east, was frightened by the miserable green melons flying all over the sky. He decided to save the magical world by being a double agent and let the two demon kings of black and white learn the ways of society. Dumbledore, I know you don't believe me now, but what if I took out Voldemort's Horcruxes. Dark Lord, although five of your Horcruxes have been destroyed, I ask you to give me another chance.