A Passing Visitor to Konoha

Are the protagonist and Hinata a couple? (I agree🐶)

First, the title of the book is a bit too literary and not very suitable for Naruto fan fiction. I remember an author friend told me that it is difficult to change the name of a novel after signing a contract, but it is actually possible to just leave it like this. The literary style can make it different from the Naruto fans on the market to attract readers. Second, the introduction suggestions need to be changed, although they will not take effect until a week later. The questions are as follows: ① Sometimes "I" and sometimes "she", readers don't know which person it is when looking at the introduction. ②Longer! Be more detailed! The protagonist is a soul traveler? Is it what he's wearing? Who has become? Is there a golden finger? Selling points and exciting points must be highlighted, such as writing style, compliance with the original work, strict logic, etc. ③ Directly indicate that the article is a female protagonist and point out the orientation of the protagonist (screen out whether the reader is a male or female protagonist). Are you single? Lily? Or get married? In the former, don't have too many ambiguous plots; in the middle, the relationship is established in the early stage, and it will be confirmed soon after it is released; in the later part, the relationship will be maintained at the beginning of the chapter, and the relationship will be established in the later stage or the finale. (Readers of female protagonists will be more torn by the single marriage, so don't eat both sides) Thirdly, I have neither watched Naruto nor its fanfics, so I don't have any suggestions for you in terms of content. But since you are determined to follow this style, stick to it. Fourth, go to the market! Hurry up and find an operations officer, use your writer rights, open a small account yourself or find a friend, and start managing the book review area. If someone jumps in the face and says, "Female-led articles? Give up" or "Female posts are scolded for posting male posts?", It is recommended to delete the post directly and permanently ban it.

No one has commented, so write your own review (sigh) This is my first time writing an online article. I also read some posts and videos before writing. Only after I wrote it did I realize that the opening chapter is very important, otherwise I won't be able to retain people. I didn't have any ambitious goals for this novel. Just what time. First, write it completely, and feel the rhythm of the online article throughout the whole process, and what kind of outline is suitable for you. The second is to practice writing. The third is to develop the habit of daily writing. Fourth, there will be 500 collections when completed. Come on (*￣m￣).

The language is distinctive, the storytelling is somewhat sophisticated, and it can be seen that the literary skills are profound.

There are suspicions of abuse of the master, Hinata is currently missing with a broken arm, and the protagonist's performance in the subsequent series seems to be incompetent and furious. Ever since the protagonist left the village to perform a mission, his combat prowess has become crazy. It seems that no matter who the enemy is, he will be beaten until he vomits blood first, and then explodes. When he chased Obito, Sasuke beat him up and vomited blood. Then he threw a charm and continued to chase. Soon the rikishi wanted to beat Sasuke to death and ran out of energy. After being pestered by Sasuke for a while, he failed to catch up, and then it was estimated that Sasuke would also be rescued. It can be explained that Liu Dao was the one who got in the way, but the tone of the protagonist's incompetence and rage was set. Later, Black Zetsu started a ninja war, resurrected Kaguya, Hinata and Tenten died in the battle, and the protagonist was disheartened and left the void. It ended directly, so that he really became a passerby in Konoha.

There are no other big problems, but this system feels very confusing 🥵 First of all, the fully digital system always gives people the feeling of a brain in a vat; Secondly, the character abilities given by the system are relatively niche (if I am ignorant, I apologize), which has led to many people being confused about the protagonist's abilities. The lack of ability to match the radio makes the play very embarrassing Also, will the system give more and more characters? If it doesn't increase, the protagonist's abilities will be very limited and the upper limit will be limited (if these abilities are not strengthened). If there are more and more, will it lead to the collapse of combat power or the emergence of some bugs in the middle and late stages due to forgetting all the previous abilities? The most outrageous thing is that at chapter 60, the world view is unfolded and the plot is on track, and you suddenly cut the system again. , Making myself nondescript (I don't know if the decision to cut the system was influenced by the comments, but I hope the author will not change the outline easily. If you don't grasp it well, changing the outline will often lead to the collapse of the plot) If the author sees it, I hope he can consider these issues.

It's so painful to see that he is already so strong that he has to suppress his strength even after breaking the void. Just change the world!

Girls don't know how to write about fighting. Anyway, I felt uncomfortable after reading it. A clone when attacked? Substitute? How is it possible that even one against seven can't do it? Orochimaru's skin-shedding stand-in is the most awesome. If he is hit too hard, he will be injured or even die. Clone and double when a genin is attacked? I don't know how many times I have died without preparation. Most girls have no fighting spirit.

Why did you suddenly uninstall the system? What is the purpose of the system preparation in the previous 60 chapters?

Well written, keep it up! ! !