Doomed to Catch Blades Barehanded? The Empress Bows to Me

Su Heng transmigrates to a world of cultivation, only to discover that all the techniques he practices have mutated.

The Green Lotus Sword Art becomes a move that is guaranteed to be caught barehanded, while the Yang Extremity Finger becomes a guaranteed hit with the Thousand-Year Kill.

There are also the Gay Guy Summoning Technique, the Cat Teaser, the Black Guy Carrying a Coffin that forces its target into the grave, Lao Ba's Feast, the Emperor Engine, the Guaranteed Human Shield Technique, and more.

Each skill is more sinister and outrageous than the last.

Su Heng is on the verge of tears.

His cultivation journey hasn't even begun, and he's already gone down the wrong path.

But then he discovers that his skills can ignore differences in cultivation levels and take effect no matter what, and that they can mutate in all sorts of combinations.

The cultivation world starts getting decidedly weird...

“What! You say the Longevity Immortal Sect has a long history, and that you all stick together, with the elders showing up whenever the younger disciples get beaten?”

“Then come and see for yourself. With one swing of my sword, every one of your disciples will have to kowtow to me. Once they're done, the elders will kowtow, and when they're finished, the sect master will kowtow. Then those half-buried old fossils will have to crawl out of their coffins and give me a proper kowtow too!”

“The demonic overlord from a thousand years ago wants to wreak havoc on the cultivation world? First, eat this righteous Dragon Thousand-Year Kill!”

“You say your body-tempering cultivation is complete and your body has become a saint? Then you absolutely have to try my newly developed Gay Guy Summoning Technique!”

“The untouchable, aloof, peerlessly beautiful Heavenly Fox Saintess? Just a toy for my Cat Teaser.”

“And you, Empress of Great Zhou, you wouldn't want anyone finding out about that thing you did on your knees, would you...”