I Created the Parliament of Light and Shadow

I can't stand it anymore, so I use "existence" to reduce the number of words 😰

To really improve your writing skills, you need to practice more. First, the character descriptions are not facial expressions, but directly labeled. For example, the rich second generation who pursues excitement, the real impression is that you wrote about her pursuing excitement, and the expression is not good at all. Second, the rhythm is not well designed. For example, when you go to a bar and you clean up a Balrog in the front, the description of the succubus later is unnecessary, and the writing is not good. You just brushed it off, and the writing is boring. Thirdly, I don't know why the members are selected in that way. If you want to save the world, the members, especially in the early stage, must be carefully considered. Just bringing in a few ordinary people would be a waste of resources. Fourth, since it is an organization, institutionalization is inevitable. Writing it in such a scattered manner gives people the feeling of a small fight. This savior is too unprofessional.

To be honest, the writing is too bland. No matter what the content is, I just feel bland after reading it. The clearing of the bar, the beginning of the succubus, etc., The writing feels too bland, especially the bar, which can be regarded as the official beginning, but after reading it, I just feel bland and boring, and nothing can make me feel emotionally. It's even worse than a cool article if it's ugly. I hope the author can think about it carefully when writing next. There is nothing wrong with the development of the plot, it just depends on how it feels when written.

What I like to read most now are the behind-the-scenes salvation stories, in which the protagonist creates or guides extraordinary people to fight against the invasion. Unfortunately, there are too few of them. Many authors like to write about the only way to do it, or about having endless fun in a small world. The behind-the-scenes savior stories I am most satisfied with are "The natives of this world are so fierce", "I adapted the world", and "The Glory Throne". The previous book "The Perfect Savior" from Qidian is also very consistent, but it is a pity that it is a eunuch. Others, such as "The Only Savior", "My Salvation Game Comes True", "I Inherited the Ancient Mysterious Organization" and "Building a Salvation Organization from Scratch" are also more suitable, but they are a bit unbearable, so I will keep them for now. So if you see similar novels, you must support them. It's not easy 🤭

The setting and plot are great, but it feels bland because it doesn't describe the battle scene, the language expression ability is limited, and the members are too ordinary. I know that I want to have more words, so I will keep it on the shelves until it explodes. If it doesn't keep people watching until now, there will be no future. I look forward to it.

The subject matter is okay, but the writing style can only speak. . . . . Shi This is a fair evaluation

I really can't stand the author. Can you please give me some advice? A bunch of typos, a bunch of bad sentences, damn. Forget about your plot line. After all, this thing also depends on writing skills and time to practice. However, you should at least pay attention to the words and sentences so that there are not so many problems, okay? It doesn't matter if the words are wrong, but there are still a lot of bad sentences. Damn, sometimes I don't even know what you are writing. Seeing that everyone there was confused, I had to stop and think for a while. What would this plot look like normally? What went wrong? Then he relied on brain supplements to correct the connection. If I didn't think your subject matter is quite novel, to be honest, I really couldn't stand it and left long ago after seeing this writing style.

You've already been reborn, and you still have so much to say when you're a little succubus. And your second route after rebirth is obviously to use the parliament to gather capable humans to fight against the darkness. Then it's obvious that you have to pull up your b. You can kill a passerby for half a day. The writing method of novice is suitable for those who have just entered the power.

Parliament of Light and Shadow? Divine Kara connects us!

. The plot of the protagonist is in a wrong direction. It doesn't matter that you, a commander, go to the front line to fight in person. Then why do you need to create an organization? According to the introduction of the book, the parliament is the main line of the story.

Although the power is gradually increasing, you must know that the protagonist is in control, and darkness will soon cover the earth. As a reader, this seems to have no sense of urgency at all, and all I can think of is the showmanship of the mastermind behind the scenes. Tease, mortal. I think we should strengthen the display of saints in front of people and speed up the pace of progress. This is not a TV series, and it doesn't take that long to write a plot.

The story of rebirth and salvation requires the author to have a very high level of control over the plot. After all, it seems quite retarded to have a rebirth plot or to forcefully arrange it for the sake of literary youth. In addition, the author's writing style is really a bit poor, but he tried hard to make his writing more difficult in terms of settings. According to the setting in the book, darkness has existed for a certain period of time and has learned how to integrate into the human world. It is expanding with the help of human organizations, but the official organizations of various countries do not know anything about it. This is a big disadvantage. There will be traces of existence, not to mention obvious intersections... You might as well set the darkness to be like the beginning, so that the difficulty of writing is a little lower.

The author is great. I discovered several fatal problems: the protagonist saved the world in his previous life and saved a lonely person. He has no intelligence advantage and does not even know about the dark bar. The second weekend is like playing the first game. Moreover, the forces of dark creatures have developed much faster than the protagonist's organization. They have spread all over the world, and the protagonist is still developing in one city! Why can't the protagonist's organization gradually develop, its strength gradually increase, and the dark creatures become more and more powerful? Only in this way can we develop the organization and have a sense of urgency to quickly increase our strength. The most important thing is that salvation must cooperate with the official. This is unavoidable, but according to the previous description, the official in this world is not very reliable. In other salvation stories, after killing a monster, the official and some people will discover the existence of the monster. There is a process of acceptance. The protagonist directly cleans up. Does he want to be an invisible guardian? After all, the disaster will not be hidden in the future.

It looks average and the writing is not sophisticated enough. The subject matter is quite good. It is recommended that you read it carefully after you finish writing it.

You only have a small copy, but if you write 20 copies of it, you are a little too good.

Why not update it? Want a eunuch? Ahhhhh, it would be such a pity if that were the case. Well!

It's too little, and I'll finish reading it in one go. All the recent recommendation votes have been given to you. It's important not to catch up on reading these days. I want to read more books and read more words, but I'm afraid I'll run out of them 😵

It is recommended that the author build his own training base for bionic warriors, with teammates and cannon fodder who are not afraid of death.

You won't want a eunuch, right? Come on, this book is really good. Good luck to the author!

With the author's consent, interested readers can submit their own created items or races downstairs. The template is as follows: [Name] [Effect] [Energy] [Appearance] [Character] For example: Race name: Chain-tailed beast (non-demon type) Ability: Chain-tail (has a thick tail with several nodes on it. When attacking, these nodes can be stretched out to greatly increase the attack range) Race levels: Level 1 with three nodes, Level 2 with eight nodes, Level 3 with 12 nodes, Level 4 tails with the ability to regenerate at super speed and become easy to tear, Level 5 tails become thin blades with extraordinary power, the highest level is Level 5 Appearance: Walking on four legs , the whole body is covered with pits, and there are two rows of sharp protrusions on the back that extend to the tail Racial character (referring to the general character of most individuals): loyal, low IQ, and the subordinates and blood food of most dark creatures