Coming of Age Again

The writing is quite good and the ideas are good, but the rhythm is still a little lacking. This kind of novel that is based on a certain profession and tells the story between the protagonist and the guests has been popular for a while. The TV series "Soul Ferry", "Sanyue has a new job", the anime "Mushishi", "Natsume's Book of Friends", and the ancient fantasy novel "Urban Demon Strange Story" that I like very much are all of this type. The characteristic is that the stories of others are told through the perspective of the protagonist, which is more suitable for short and medium stories to be strung together into a complete novel. Small units should be self-contained, with their own beginnings, transitions, and chapters. It is better to name chapters in a format similar to "xxx1, 2, 3... End". The author actually has this awareness, but the dividing lines between different stories are not obvious, and there is too much content to tell. If you look at each customer as a separate story, you will find that this story is mixed with too many side content that competes with the main story for attention. For example, too much foreshadowing of Chen Xiaoxiao's own story is inserted, which disrupts the rhythm of the story being told. Not only does the ongoing events become unsound in reading, but Chen Xiaoxiao's own plot tension is also split and scattered in different corners of the plot. This is actually quite wasteful. His story can be unfolded in detail in a separate unit. It would be better to flesh out his character more and only bury some foreshadowing that arouses suspicion. Xia Yiqing's personal arc was handled well at this point and was basically coherent, but there were still other people's stories mixed in. Telling a story in this way is like making a poster. The logo is enlarged, the title is enlarged, and the promotional information is also enlarged. There is no distinction between priorities. Where should the audience look first? Perhaps the author wants to show that the protagonists are very busy and must handle tasks in multiple threads, but the characters are busy, so don't let the readers be busy along with them. Older martial arts novels often have the saying "two flowers bloom, each showing a branch", which is usually used to connect two things that happen at the same time. Author, don't be in a hurry when telling the story, just take your time and tell it one by one. Another point is that the author should want to explore a new writing style in this book. This is not the case in other works. However, the entire book uses very literary narrative text, with declarative sentences from beginning to end, and no dialogue between characters directly enclosed in quotation marks. This type of writing style is generally used to write shorter articles. Usually when an author changes the character dialogue from dialogue to declarative sentences, we know that the author needs to add some discussion here. For example, many of Wang Xiaobo's works are like this. After telling the story for a while, they go off topic and talk about something else. 👇 (Picture King Xiaobo Silver Age) But I haven't seen anyone write this way in long online novels. It's not that it's not bad. It's courageous to explore new styles, but as a long piece it seems a bit tiring. It's like reading an argumentative essay in one breath, with no breathing space in between. You will also feel that this article has been summarized without in-depth description and lacks emotional ups and downs. Moreover, there are many characters, and it is difficult to jump to the perspective of descriptive text, and it is also difficult to distinguish the characters' psychological activities from the actual spoken language. For example, on the following page, the problem is obvious: In the first paragraph of such a short paragraph, the subject switches three times, from He Wuwu to Chen Xiaoxiao and He Wuwu. The next paragraph does not have any prompts and suddenly becomes a psychological description of Li Qiyi. However, it is not until the third paragraph is read that I can be sure that the second paragraph is about Li Qiyi's psychology and not He Wuwu. I think the author must have had this picture in his mind when he was writing, and wanted to describe the actions of everyone present like a sketch, but I think it can actually be simplified a little and only describe the important ones. Just like in a movie, the shots cannot be cut too much, otherwise the audience will be confused. This book is generally very good! Otherwise I wouldn't have said so much. I really like this kind of story about friends doing things together. Using the hospital as the starting point also seems very humanistic! I will continue to pay attention to it. Good luck, author~ I hope your health will recover soon

Give Li Qiyi 7 recommendation votes every day

I have added it to my collection. I have a lot of ideas and the author's writing is very good. This title makes people want to click on it. I came to visit with my work "Old man picks up rags in time and lives by making bad movies". Thank you!

13 Books, you have more perseverance than me. I used to write short stories, but I stopped writing after my account was cancelled.

The content has gradually become outrageous since the encounter with the pregnant girl, and has gradually moved closer to today's trashy urban dramas. If you don't have the experience of life, don't write about this kind of subject matter, and change it to a fantasy fantasy.

I am participating in the Qidian [Vote for Online Literary God-level Famous Scenes] event. The original text of the famous scene I submitted is as follows. Come and discuss it with me! At this time, in Longhua Square in front of the bus station, three waves of square dancing groups started dancing one after another. Grandma group, big sister group, little sister group, three different age groups, all in 515 Book Fan Festival-Famous Scene Voting

I admire your perseverance in creating and the love for words reflected in it. 13 Books with 6 million words in 4 years...🙏 is a model. Persistence itself is a victory.

13 Books lv1, nb

Is a medical escort accompanying a patient to see a doctor? I don't quite understand. It's someone who goes out to work and suddenly gets sick and needs a guardian, but their relatives and friends are not around. Does that mean they need strangers to help accompany them to the doctor?