The Dao Lord of Supreme Unity

It looks good at the moment, but it will be hard to say in the future. It's not easy to control cheats. Don't make plots too frequent. Who at the bottom can cause trouble for you every day? Even in the world of cultivating immortals, there is no daily war! Don't run the map too frequently, it will become a stand-alone game with no interaction. My personal suggestion is that if you control it well, it will be a good book.

Change the title of the book: Immortality begins with Chicken You are so beautiful

If you have a Taoist companion too early, you are afraid that you will become a family cultivator later. The map can be changed, but the description of the exercises is too sparse and needs to be strengthened. There are too few descriptions of physical skills, eye skills, sword skills, bloodline, divine talents, auctions, treasure hunts, adventures, inner demons, strange people, rumors, culture of cultivating immortals, etc. I write my own opinions because I am very optimistic about it. I hope the author will write better and better.

Damn, it's awesome. For eighty chapters, the sect was destroyed by the enemy sect, and the protagonist still managed to join the enemy sect and continue to raise chickens. It's the first time I've seen something like this. It's awesome.

This book looks good, but why is it so poisonous after writing so many words? The main character actually still wants to look at the clone's face. The clone's cultivation is stronger than the main character. All the clones have independent personalities. I advise the author to stop writing about the clones and merge them as soon as possible.

To be precise, the pictures drawn by MJ have no copyright issues.

Of course, I very much hope that this is a place for everyone to discuss the plot instead of venting emotions. If you have questions, you can ask questions, you can express your opinions, and suggestions are better, but please be calm. Thank you very much!

To be honest, it was too slow and I felt a little uncomfortable. In the early days, I was quite comfortable in the Dongsheng Sect, but later on, especially when I was a left-behind monk in the Tianmen Sect, the evil cultivators looked really disgusting. It can write about the darkness of the world of immortality. , But you are really too slow. The protagonist is hesitant and incompetent. He wants to run away or not, and he wants to fight or not. I thought I was reading some kind of cult book. It's so disgusting. If you don't speed up the book, all the readers will run away. I feel like you will end up unfinished.

So far, my personal impression is quite good, the three views are correct, and the writing is better. Excluding some of the more verbose early problems and the early criticism of the golden finger, the overall plot is reasonable, the clues and foreshadowing are appropriately buried for subsequent development, and the grand world view of the world of immortality has also been secretly expanded. The author must have written a good outline. From the beginning to the present, the rhythm of the literary and drama plot has gradually become better, and the rigor of the details is evident. The clues and foreshadowing can often form a closed loop with the subsequent development. Even if the development is traceable, the characters that appear are basically promoting or assisting the development of the plot, which means that the character description is more effective. The immortal fighting takes up slightly less space but is relatively subtle. The big scenes are well described and the abilities and skills used are generally followable. But I personally think there are also problems. If cheats are not mentioned, the author must have some ideas about how to deal with them. The current use of cheats is reasonable as long as patches are added.       ，，，，，， The second level of strength gives me a vague impression. There seems to be little difference between the levels of Nascent Soul and Golden Core in front of the protagonist. No matter how strong the mana manipulation ability is, the question is whether he should control his combat power reasonably to prevent excessive combat power from collapsing (although the protagonist has Ten Thousand Dharma Veins and has received gifts from various master uncles to be able to defeat the Nascent Soul for a while). I personally feel that it is inappropriate to fight at two levels. If there is a similar battle in the future, there should be a reasonable foreshadowing of the combat power improvement process. I feel that the questions I picked are a bit nitpicking. There may be other issues, but I personally feel that other parts are relatively complete. If you have different opinions, you can mention them and discuss them. Tell me what you like. The clues and foreshadowing are basically traceable. The development of the plot is driven by the clues and foreshadowing, and is driven by the intertwining of the bright lines of the protagonist's experiences and the changes in the world and the layout of the sect as the core. It will not appear abrupt and the storyline will appear more harmonious. The three views of the characters and the creation of their personalities are remarkable. They have a taste of flesh and blood. The descriptions of both good and evil at the beginning are okay. The descriptions of the characters' experiences have shaped the characters' images. For example, I met Yu Guanshi during the Qi training period, and the original enemy finally became a close friend; the master Yao Wudi who is currently in the foundation period, the two masters and apprentices, one is the master and the apprentice, the other is the apprentice and the teacher, the image is relatively full; and some recent descriptions of the wife's perseverance, I think it is very comfortable to use the vernacular. Although the plot development is a bit slow, it is still very appetizing to me. I hope the author will stay in good condition, be healthy and continue writing, and write slowly and not in a hurry.

Is the following really well written? I can't bear it anymore after reading over one million words, and the protagonist is becoming more and more mentally retarded.