Become a Mysterious Thief, but in Douluo

I have read the first five chapters first. The logic of the writing is normal and readable. I would like to give the author some suggestions for some problems that I have discovered temporarily. ①The first chapter must be completely revised. People who don't know it think you are writing a novel. If I hadn't skipped a chapter and saw that the following text was normal, I would have given up the book. ② Don't squeeze the paragraphs into a pile. You are not writing a paper. Writing online articles should be easy for readers to read. Reading a long paragraph will make you feel tired. ③ No typos were found, but there were really many punctuation errors, especially colons and quotation marks. Since you are writing this book, you should have read Mystery. Mystery is a real standard, not to mention the use of punctuation marks. Your current situation is that the paragraphs are crowded together, and it is difficult to find out even if you want to correct yourself.

It would be nice if there was no first chapter. It's so embarrassing to watch. This Douluo's will can reverse time and space, and he still needs to hire foreign aid.

It's too erotic, the subject matter is mind-blowing, and the writing style is a bit down.

Save money: brainless and hard-hitting. The writing is not very good.

Author, you can take a look This, I feel very much like Amon, the writing is very good, it is like a eunuch. You can learn from it ⌓‿⌓

I like this idea, write quickly, please update. Finally I saw someone writing about Douluo Mysterious Crossover. Those who say the author's writing is not good should find a good one on the same subject. What if the author is scolded by you and stops writing?

In fact, Tang San in Dou Yi was okay, but he was brainwashed by the Tang Sect. If it were a better Tang Sect in some worlds, such as the Tang Sect in Under One Man, there wouldn't be much of a problem, but this is obviously not the case.

There is no such setting in the original book about measuring soul power. Considering how big a person is, the normal situation is that when hunting for soul rings, one has to know how many levels of soul power one has. The setting of Douluo's original work is enough to win the game, but if you, the fan author, have a second setting that doesn't stand up to scrutiny, how can you attract readers to watch it? Wouldn't that be lower than the original work? Like Qian Renxue, whose innate soul power is level 20, her body was simultaneously strengthened when she awakened her martial soul. Similar to innate full soul power, soul rings are obtained through soul hunting. Obtaining soul rings is based on the so-called optimal configuration. At the same time, increasing the soul power will increase by 1 to 2 levels. This is the situation of Tang San in the book. In this book, the author actually used the ability of Gou Sanjia, the Lord of Mysteries, to "steal" (actually using the ability to steal is enough to cause trouble), and used high-sequence abilities in advance across sequences (here the protagonist carelessly held a mysterious ceremony, probably forgetting that Tang Hao usually protected Tang San when he was hunting souls), and the author used a chapter to describe how Tang San reduced his soul power. . . In fact, if the author's operation absorbs a soul ring that is only close to a century old, the level cannot be raised to level 13 as in the original work, and it may only be level 10 and a half at most. (Note: After absorbing the soul ring, the body has been strengthened to the point where it can hold the soul power, otherwise it will only self-destruct.) When the author tested the soul power in Wuhun Palace to prove his level, he set Tang San to level 13 in the original work, forgetting what he had done before, and made the protagonist lower his soul power again. This can only prove that Tang San's qualifications are too high, or the Xuantian Kung Fu is too heaven-defying. I can only think that the author of this book has eaten the book himself. . . In addition, the crystal for testing soul power set by the author at the beginning was broken by the protagonist, but the test crystal can test even Qian Renxue's level 20 awakening, but it cannot be tested simply by testing soul power (unless the crystal for testing soul power also has levels, the problem is that the author did not write it here at all). So I don't understand what the author has written in the last two chapters at all. The author said that he has written too many papers, but the causes and consequences are summarized like the original Zhang Wei, and the writing is reasonable. You can't rely on readers to help the author fill in the loopholes. This is not lazy like the original author, and Brown Sugar Three is not a mindless writing. I think the reason why most brown sugar novels appear is not only due to the traffic of Chi Douluo, but also because of the original author's indifferent attitude towards the setting of the novel (Zhang Wei may have explained it in the comment area, but it was not added in the book). Secondly, it describes the exaggerated desire for control of the great god Tang San, so Naturally, there is no shortage of those who want to bring down this so-called great god. This is why a reasonable plot is needed, rather than just the flow. Beating the original work in details and settings is also the way to make this book outstanding, rather than just writing indiscriminately without even understanding the original settings.

Keep up the good work and wait for the update! !

Cut the chicken, cut the chicken, cut the chicken, cut the chicken

The idea is great, please write it down! Come on!

Is it a way or a pirated martial spirit?