Zhan Shuang: Become What Your Heart Desires

It's amazing, I've finished all of it 🙂 It's not like I didn't write at all. Now I'm ready to go back to my old job. I don't want to write anything else, so I just write daily articles.

😁 You can add something like the first chapter, and then add "" when the characters speak, and then in terms of plot, hurry up. I feel that it doesn't matter if you write faster, but don't drag it too much. 😰 I feel like it's too dragging after I finished reading it. It's already 90 00 words and the content has not yet been released. Then we need to pay attention to the character description of the novel. Don't write too much. The background must be well grasped and more foreshadowing for the following content. In fact, just write a little about the reason for the time travel. There is no need to write it so clearly. If you don't have a good grasp of the plot, you can create your own plot and connect it.

After reading it, the transition was more natural this time, but I felt like there were too many characters. It's okay to lock Guan Feng from the main perspective, but it becomes chaotic when there are more people. The overall reading is good. Guan Feng has reached the end of his life, and he slowly integrates into it, and what will happen next. The dialogue between Guan Feng and Eureka is very natural, and there is a hook at the end to change the tiger. The Five Spirit Locks were mentioned in the middle. Are you preparing to push the upper limit?

What kind of foreshadowing is the content of this plot story? It reads a bit crumbly. Mainly, the dialogue content of the blockbuster feels like the form of a drama, but it is just a script rather than a change and presentation visible to the naked eye. In other words, the content is insufficient. Not expressed enough. In other words, the sentence is very smooth and beautiful to read, but it is too dry and the foreshadowing effect is not obvious.

I'm done reading it! There are several problems at the moment. One is the content of the scripted monologue, and the other is the dialogue between the boss behind the scenes and Guan Feng at three points. The inner demon has come out, right? And Ella's hook? Foreshadowing with Black Star? It feels like the paving is okay. However, there are a few scripts in the first half that are chaotic, so I still recommend taking drastic measures! Cut the mess with a sharp knife

Two issues: I feel like the progress is too fast, and I feel that the first half is good, but the second half is too perfunctory. It's just super fast push push push

It's pretty fast to write, but I can't understand it 🙂

The idea is quite interesting, but very confusing😭😭😭

There's something wrong with the new chapter. Please note that I feel like it's out of sync and can't be connected with the previous one. To put it bluntly, it is not connected with the previous article. I felt a little confused when I read it 😰 Roland's appearance and content here made me dizzy.

Your speed is not good either. My book has been completely revised. I will save the original plot as a side story or write a second volume when the time comes. Please help me see how the changes are now. I think it is much more reasonable. I plan to have multiple heroines, Lucia, Alpha, and Vera. It just doesn't work out like this. I'm adding a Bianca.

The newly revised chapter of Pigeon is actually much better, but I have a few small comments. The first character dialogue I recently discovered that it should not be too long. The second one is not to have too many narrations in the content. Too many will always look stiff

The language is a bit fragmented, so remember to mark the chapters Also, it feels very fast to read, not the pace, but the content. It feels too fast for me to calm down and read. The psychological description of the characters is a bit fragmented Finally, thank you for reading it carefully Hahahahahahaha, the background of Zhanshuang It is actually based on the brain chip (a legacy of the golden age) It is precisely because of this that a large number of people are infected with Pamish Yes, I'm sure! This is how immune serum comes from So the brain chip should only iterate, and Pamish will also evolve. This is the current setting.

Hey hey hey, the manuscript is over 😭 My boss pulled me out I have to leave, pigeon

I read Dove carefully from beginning to end today. In fact, I think it is similar to the adventure of the world, and Zhanshuang as the main world is more exciting 🤫

Starting with this paragraph, two versions. This period naturally begins at the age of six or seven. Guan Feng's psychological changes are natural but inappropriate. (Based on the content of the novel, he is a bit redundant.) But without this paragraph, there is no way to connect with the commander behind him. The tone of the whole article and some redundant descriptions are inappropriate, such as the connection between the commander and my past self. It's a bit depressing, and the appearance description is superfluous, so there's no need to mention how handsome he is. If I write, I will probably write about three points, departure, arrival, snow, loneliness and contrast happiness. Farewell to the past, and in the following content, Lucia and the Commander can be considered as buried hooks and will meet again in the future. If we simply write about Guan Feng, Xue's association would be redundant for a web article. But it's very real and doesn't seem to be made up. So it feels natural to me. I don't have enough brain power after a day's work. But this is the current problem (it was originally a paragraph evaluation, but I didn't expect it to be limited to 150 words)