The Ghastly Story I Wrote Came True

It would be interesting if it was Holy Terra who traveled through time. Loyalty evokes fearlessness, fearlessness inspires sacrifice, and sacrifice guides death Sacrifice is the cornerstone of the empire!

Wow, the author is not a newbie, but some sentences are quite problematic. It feels like the word count is deliberately reduced. Some unnecessary connectives can actually be omitted. It feels very strange, especially when reading silently, it is very uncomfortable. Cheers to the author, I feel like the idea of ​​your book is actually quite good. You must have read Mystery (👀), and there are too many elements, hehe.

Born in the fantasy book "Sherlock Holmes", consulting detective Charlotte is willing to accept your entrustment to investigate the truth about the attack on Aksha Temple. Perhaps you can serve as an assistant and provide some help in solving the case. ——Charlotte

Charlotte Holmes Characteristics: female imp, rational monster, no empathy, close to Curly character, airport, superior intelligence Bliss Wayne Characteristics: acting emotionally, irritable, girly plot, ladylike lady, vampire Hybrid, bigger than Charlotte and smaller than Mycroft Mycroft Holmes Characteristics: Lazy beauty, the biggest, silver-haired dead sister, super intelligent but too lazy to use max power

The time when I first started writing the book happened to be a period of letting go. Something happened at home and people were in a mess, and my writing state was not good. As a result, many people said that it was a bit of a transition to make fun of jokes. I'm sorry. When you are beaten, you have to stand at attention. I will change it later. Besides, I have also laid out the foreshadowing of the response. I will try my best to write out the flavor of monsters, agents and counterattacks. I will also play less jokes and be as serious as possible. ヽ(*.>Д<)O゜

Everyone is welcome to contribute original/Internet weird stories, any good ideas you think of or those you think are suitable online ヽ(=^･ω･^=)

The creativity is good, but it's too messy and there are too many jokes. It is recommended to rewrite or overhaul the first volume while retaining creativity. As for the current first volume, it is extremely difficult for subsequent readers to retain 10% of it. Too many jokes or even bad jokes make this book look like a self-pleasure venting work. Moderation is the best, and the restrained theme is not suitable for the unrestrained writing style. It can be seen that the author has some ideas and writing style. Try your best.

To put it bluntly, I just feel that the protagonist's image created by a masked vest makes people feel like they don't understand anything. . . If you don't understand something, you just ask others directly. Doesn't this reduce the mystery a bit?

I feel like I can't follow it, mainly because there are too many jokes, which destroy the weird and serious atmosphere. It's too dramatic, and there are too many daily affairs. Everyone wants to see the plot of monsters or agents. The early stage is a bit slow, and the setting of beggars is really unappealing and makes people sad. After reading more than a dozen chapters, I don't want to read anymore. I suggest that the author only keep the funny part with Sherlock Holmes. Most readers are attracted by the scarecrow, siren head and the like, so the presence of the monster should be strengthened, otherwise it will be difficult to retain some non-novice readers. If possible, revise the first dozen chapters. It's my personal opinion. If you don't like it, don't criticize it.

What's going on with this Sherlock Holmes? The original inhabitants of the world? But isn't this detective agency run by the protagonist himself?

As a member, the old beggar is too stretched, feels useless, and has no respect for the protagonist.

After reading Chapter 42, I originally wanted to leave directly, but I felt it was a bit of a pity because the subject matter felt really good. 1. The problem that everyone has mentioned is that there are too many jokes. It is said that the number will be reduced after ten chapters, but I feel that there is not much change. The writing power is not enough in the first place, which makes people feel very dramatic. Not to mention, it feels like it is just a waste of numbers. 2. In terms of character setting, other authors use their strengths and avoid their weaknesses. You kid, hey, you are a tough guy, right? Not to mention Charlotte and Mycroft, for example, Bliss is obviously a lady, right? A girly plot, right? He is also emotional and irritable, and the conflicts in his personality and expressions could not be more obvious. If the writing is not strong enough and the characters cannot be described, then don't put so much thought into it. Only by adding weight to the areas you are good at will attract people's desire to read on. 3. In terms of plot, as mentioned above, if the characters are not good, then don't be stubborn. Originally, the jokes are just like water numbers, and the hard work of portraying the characters makes the already pitiful and sparse plot have no sense of existence. The plot progress bar makes people feel numb. Look at the title of your own book, and then look at the outline of your book. Most of the people who clicked in are here because of your subject matter, but the existence of monsters is not much, and there is no growth in the protagonist. It is all about the plot and the characterization of the characters. Can you keep people like this? You ask yourself. 4. Give me some personal advice, you can listen to it or not. I have read more than forty chapters, more than forty chapters, and I only have a little impression of the various regions and power distribution in the city, and I am still confused. The relationship between the protagonist, werewolves, the Holy See, vampires, state officials, and scattered dark creatures such as Bliss, their status and survival methods are really fascinating. Also in terms of strength, there is only one strength level, but the performance of each strength level is really lacking. The summary is that there is something wrong with the description and development of the worldview, do you understand? The author recommends that you first understand your own strengths and weaknesses, and then adjust the content you write according to the outline. Start writing from your own strengths. You can also describe a small amount of your own weaknesses in the middle. It may become a small poisonous point, but it will not have a big impact on the overall situation, right? I hope that the author can write better and better in the future, and work hard to make progress. Come on.

How to say it? The main plot is good. The content is rubbish and the writing is confusing.

🙂 Want to help, but can't

Back room, strange stories about rules, containment meeting

Alice is not enough Where is Alice Hand over Alice Visit Alice You hid Alice, right?                                  Fall in love                                   Kill

Shouldn't it be a light novel

Rigorous enough, Western Middle Ages, Tofu Xishi "Bliss"