Hogwarts: Chasing the Storm

Author, I also know that writing a book is not easy, but can you stop being ridiculous 😭 I know that writing a book is a very personal matter, and I don't mean to criticize you, but I still feel a little emotional. Let me record it for the time being. I hope you won't be angry. When it comes to writing online articles, it actually depends on the original intention. You want to write your own story for yourself and share it with others, without any money - no problem, just pretend I didn't say anything; but you have put it on the shelf now. If you have any intention of making money, I hope you can read this comment. I am not preaching to you to write a book or anything. I am not qualified. I am just a reader who wants to express my own demands. You have to know why we came to read this book - because the protagonist is a thunderbird, a magical animal rather than a little wizard. What do we want to see? It is the protagonist as a thunderbird, a creature with completely different values ​​and instincts from humans, and the conflict with the human world (not hostility, just differences in ideas, ranging from war to sleeping posture and food preferences). Okay, I know you want to write about the relationship between the protagonist and humans, but why can't you write more about the interesting things that happen because of the different nature of magical animals and the different ways of thinking of their human friends? (It's not like you don't know how to write, right? For example, Ralph eating potion ingredients is a very interesting setting.) For example, if you write Ralph's feathered incarnation as a program rather than a rational person, will this incarnation have some more animalistic behaviors, or small details such as electric current flowing out of the body? Maybe a sensitive roommate will be electrocuted when he holds the avatar's hand - and over time he will start to wonder why Ralph occasionally gets electrocuted - isn't this a foreshadowing of future identity exposure, and it can also add a lot of fun. (Well... If you have never thought about writing about identity exposure... Then maybe I am not suitable for this book) Then, I don't know whether you set the soul of the time traveler to connect with the God of Death or to increase the reader's sense of substitution, but you made the protagonist's way of thinking not much different from that of humans. Isn't this equivalent to changing the protagonist to a human little wizard and there is no difference now? For example, I set a protagonist to be a son of nature, a Druid, but he is a human. He can also become the Lord of the Forbidden Forest, and can also enter Hogwarts. He can even have a younger brother who is a shaman in Africa, and an idiot younger sister. Is this any different from now? I feel that the processing here is actually a bit poor, and there is a suspicion of forcing chicken soup. Although it is indeed a relatively novel setting, it does not hide its flaws. Also, you write a lot about Hogwarts making the wizarding world a better place, but is that what we want to see? I'm not saying you can't write, but just the right amount. You farm, no problem. This is Thunderbird's special farming technique. But for other things, such as the details of Huimin Store and the renovation of the bathroom, is it necessary to write so many chapters? For me, when I write about the bathroom, it may be that the protagonists return to school after the summer vacation. At the opening dinner, Dumbledore will say, "Our old students will find that the layout of the dormitory has undergone some welcome changes during the summer vacation. Now it is time to go back and discover the surprises, children. Have a sweet dream!" Then write a little about the dormitory changes of each college and it will be over. In the final analysis, you have not grasped the core of the protagonist of Thunderbirds and what makes it exciting. It's not that you have to make the protagonist look like a human being. Personally, it's better if the protagonist is not a human being. (Of course, if your readership is more biased toward readers who think humans should not be substituted for beasts, then think of me as a joke.) I have written HP fanfics before, and they are also non-human protagonists. I won't go into details. Just think of the race as the long-horned water snake, Yingyuan, and the entire time conversion process. I didn't post it because I wrote that I felt that HP had too many loopholes to deserve me to take it seriously, so I am indeed inferior to you in this regard. At least you had the intention to write it down. My own idea of ​​writing a non-human protagonist is to have a normal roommate who is special only in certain aspects - such as being afraid of snakes. Obviously my roommate looks like a human being, but why do some of his habits resemble the things I'm afraid of? This inexplicable trembling feeling... Personally, it adds to the comedy. Customs and customs also serve the story, and the best customs and customs are reflected in details, rather than directly described in large paragraphs. For example, if I write about a middle-aged Auror, what he will do every time he completes a mission, what he will eat, and in what environment, won't it be able to reflect a corner of the wizarding community? It would be unreasonable for you to leave the plot behind and just write about how Hogsmeade is, how Diagon Alley is, and how human wizards are doing. Even if you want to write about it, you can write more about the Forbidden Forest, or about a few human family members who have a particularly good relationship with the protagonist. That would be enough. Then why I am posting this book review is because of the latest chapter. You traveled to Africa three times in a row. When I read the first chapter about African ecology, I didn't realize the seriousness of the problem. I originally thought I would see my brother in the first chapter, but what happened? As a result, you introduced African ecology in three consecutive chapters. I came here to watch a documentary in your HP fanfic? I want to watch a documentary and turn on the TV on demand. It doesn't cost a penny. Why should I spend 20 cents to watch your giraffe fight? It's two cents a day, two yuan for ten days, and then look at how many chapters you've finished, and you immediately feel it's not worth it. How can you get ahead in reading like this? I clicked on the update today and saw that it was about African ecology again. At that time, I really wanted to abandon the book. After thinking about it, I thought it was a rare non-human fan, so I came to write a review. No more talking, let's go to class on probability theory. I think if you can continue writing your book and write it well, you may not be able to compare with Professor Mowen in the end, but it can also be regarded as a good good source/food among HP fans. I sincerely hope that you can write better and better 😳

Lily Evans

Is the protagonist a time traveler? In this life, I am probably a thunderbird who has transformed. That dream is probably a memory from the previous life. It has just been awakened not long ago and has not been completely integrated, so it is like a dream. I don't know if my guess is right.

It's very well written, good luck to the author! It's just that it's a little weird that the protagonist, a magical animal, was given an admission notice. Everything else is fine. There's nothing wrong with anything else.

It's really hard to write in one sentence. Skipping any chapter won't affect your reading. It's a complete mess.

The author's impression of each college is too stereotyped. Taking Ravenclaw as an example, the eaglets are not all academic masters. They only work hard on the aspects that interest them. If they are all so awesome, why are the celebrities in Ravenclaw similar to other houses?

If I were in that period, I would chase Lily no matter what, how exciting. And can't the protagonist have a fucking love relationship with the male protagonist?

It's been a while since I've seen a non-human protagonist. There's one where a silver dragon turns into a human, and it's also a transfiguration. I hope there will be more magical animals as protagonists in Hogwarts fan fiction.

Can I not have a female protagonist?🌹

Could the heroine consider Sister Ka, or Sister Ka's mother? You see, what Sister Ka is best at is weather spells to strike thunder.