Wilderness Livestream: I Got Carried Away Shipping Couples on a Survival Show

[Wilderness variety show + entertainment industry + obsessive love + secret identities + all kinds of sweet romance. If it isn’t sweet, you can bite me!] After losing all her work, Qiao Yi, a three-time Golden Rooster Best Actress who’s hated by the entire internet, is forced to join the wilderness survival show with the lowest ratings. She’s paired with Lu Anxu, an ordinary fan she’d flirted with twice, sending them trending both times. To her surprise, they end up winning with ease. Deserted island survival: While the other teams are going hungry and searching for emergency kits, Qiao Yi and Lu Anxu eat their fill, find a hidden lifeboat, and complete the challenge. Mysterious mountains: While the other teams are getting soaked and scorched as they search for caves, Qiao Yi and Lu Anxu are lounging in front of their newly built bamboo house, eating barbecue. After several locations, from tribal ruins to the frozen Arctic, the haters realize the sight they’d been waiting for, Qiao Yi turning into a grimy country bumpkin, never happens. She even seems to have gained a couple of pounds. Clips of her catching fish with her bare hands, making daring leaps, and climbing at lightning speed go viral across the internet as animated GIFs. Haters: “What a garbage show. The fix is obvious. And they dare advertise it as ‘absolutely unscripted’? Get off the internet.” Loyal fans: “Yiyi is so insanely cool! I love her so much!” Shipping fans: “This is so sweet! Yiyi is such a flirt, and Lulu is such a cutie. We’re bringing the marriage bureau right over!” Media: “Best Actress Qiao, will you and your ordinary fan break up your on-screen pairing after the show ends?” Qiao Yi: “Lie flat and stay right where you are. The couple you ship is real.” But after the interview, when Qiao Yi gets home, she discovers that the sweet young man she flirts with every day until he blushes in bed has vanished. In his place, there’s a potted mimosa on the windowsill. Qiao Yi stares at the mimosa, which curls up at the slightest touch, and falls into deep thought...