My God Sequence

The book is quite interesting, but there are a lot of minor problems. The pacing is not good enough, and the plot advances too fast. The main plot of 120,000 words is enough to fill it into 300,000 words. Slow down the pace a little, add more water, add some psychological description, atmosphere, scene details and so on. This way readers won't feel tired, the plot is easy to control, and the novel is full of content. The above are just my personal opinions. I can't say how to improve it, but I still think that if the author wants to become a god, he must learn how the great gods fill in the outline.

It's well written, the only regret is that the main character is a bitch

. . It looks good, but it's extraordinary. It's still obsessed with boxing, and it's obviously a new trend. In the blink of an eye, a lot of people have already started to go. The main character is F level, and there are already people who are A level. If you add S or even SS, it's almost to the top. If there are only a few people, good guys organize a bunch of them, and the strong ones will reach the top. Is this a game that has just started? It's impossible. There is only one protagonist in F level. Edcba is indeed a lot of such deformed structures. Come on, if there are many people, this matter is outrageous before it is exposed. It is impossible for this game to be all members of the organization. The protagonist is a single person. The other independent people have no family and friends, and are all orphans like the protagonist. And are the professions in a game as rubbish as you think? People who have connections in game professions with such attributes do not know that this game has a ranking mechanism. How can it be a game for a few people? That's it. How many people should be ranked? Let's just take each position. Generally speaking, the content of this article is good, but the background is too poor. The author wants to write a story about the protagonist rising from the bottom and changing into a dragon when encountering the storm. But since it is a new trend that can make people rise, how can there be an organization at the top? Every trend has the top, and it must be at the end of the stage. Just like 10 years ago, you may have become the richest man, but now you want to start from scratch. It is impossible to become the richest man. As for the country's intervention, how is it possible? If this kind of extraordinary game is only used by people of the same class, how can ordinary people have any chance? If a country's policy is like this, then how can the protagonist have a chance to grow unless he is invincible at the beginning? If you have read this kind of book, you will know that the protagonist must rely on the country to provoke enemies in the early stage, but if the country is like this, the protagonist simply lies down.

，， This is how you look.

Hey, it's hard for newcomers! The pace is slow, no one is watching in the early stage, and the great masters will die. Difficulties and nightmares, I omit the combat part and go directly to the plot, which can save unlimited files. For the fourth natural disaster, it is only a matter of time to clear the level. If you feel that the world of Deep Blue is not satisfying, the protagonist will become the master of Deep Blue and you will go back and start over. I can do psychological description, environmental description, and combat description! I can write thousands of words in one sentence, but I dare not write! This book has three main lines, the emotional line, the upgrade line, and the world plot. I wrote very compactly, just like a reader said that I wrote 120,000 words, and the average author has to write 300,000 words, but I have written them all, and I am moving forward, and each chapter has enough information. Except for the 20,000 words in lol, I really can't think of any good way to avoid being discovered, make money, and test my abilities. You can only use the lol that everyone knows. Do you want the protagonist to box, drive a racing car, and hunt others to achieve the goal? Everyone has their own preferences for radish and greens. I personally like watching them lol. Don't make blind guesses. The book I refer to is The Feet of a Best Friend, which has twenty-eight worlds, and each world represents a sequence fragment of God. Every world has properties. In addition, let's talk about emotions. . Normal nightmares were written too quickly... As for the normal and nightmare books I wrote, the plot of the game was so tragic that a lot of people would have to curse and say goodbye if they wrote it in detail. Tomorrow, the Dark Blue Volume will end. Next volume, Dominator Invasion.

The first Deep Blue World had many exciting points, but ended up brushing it off and scratching the surface. On the contrary, lol has enough descriptions, and readers are not here to read and write about games. Chicken ribs are tasteless to eat and a pity to throw away.

Your writing on Deep Blue World is not as smooth as yours. I am also convinced.

The plot is quite compact. The plot of the Deep Blue World at the beginning has a lot of descriptions of the easy and difficult modes. The following is just a few strokes to describe it. It feels a bit inexplicable that the protagonist is trapped in the Tuling World and then comes out. It feels a bit far-fetched or it is foreshadowing. Maybe it is related to the protagonist's father. Guan, I just don't feel that it's exciting at the moment. Going to the end of the world and defeating Deep Blue should be a bit exciting, but personally I feel it's very pale and the rhythm is weird. Maybe I watched it too fast. I finished it in one go. In summary, the plot is not bad, at least I personally feel that the plot of Deep Blue World is pretty good. , Gave me an eye-catching feeling, but the fighting scenes basically didn't feel like it, and the characters were a bit thin, such as Takahashi Eiko. To be honest, it continues into the real world (Jiao Jiao). My impression of this character is that of a tool, and then the heroine feels dispensable. It's better to open the game Hajime's Hoshino Yui is responsible for the combat power. The current heroine is a tool and a buff to the protagonist. In summary, there is nothing particularly poisonous and the plot is smooth. The shortcoming is that it is too compact and many descriptions are not written. It feels like a flowing novel and many contradictions are impacting. It is too light and the refreshing point is not obvious.

Author, your writing ideas are good, but your writing skills are still lacking. After reading more than 20 chapters, the text is in a broken shape, which is very uncomfortable to read. This subject matter is not something you can grasp with your current writing style. Keep working hard.

Why don't you write lol? Really, writing a sequence game is a waste of talent. It's too confusing.

Brothers and sisters, don't keep books! Please read, please read! The new book issue will be updated twice a day with 4,000 words, and it will be a big hit on the shelves. Even ten updates will do!

The connection of the plot is too poor. The connection of the plot is too poor.

The first two chapters were very good, but why did it become a chronicle later? Some authors can write you two or three hundred thousand words for the plot songs of your first ten chapters.

Come on💪! I feel that with this rhythm, there is a lot of excitement behind it!

I can't accept the fact that the main female lead is Zhao Moxin. Mainly because I've never seen this type of character. Of course, it mainly depends on the author's writing style.

Everything is good, but the pace is too fast, I can't stand it 😥😥

After watching it, it's a good idea, but the development was a bit slow in the early stage. I hope the plot will be deeper in the future.

How should I put it? If you don't read it for a few days, there is no particularly impressive anchor point... I can only say that it is enough to satisfy you if it is large. But if you don't pursue reading and reading, it will be easy to run out of money.

This protagonist is really awesome. Even though he has extraordinary abilities, he still thinks about boxing. I really don't know why I still want to box?

Released at 12:19, first in 7 minutes

After chasing it all in one go, it's third. It looks good, but I'm still young.

If you can't write to death, write to death. Hurry up.

Chapter 52: The protagonist subdued Jiaojiao but did not kill her. After a few interrogations, he was knocked unconscious and controlled (if he had not been the only talent to resist the control, he would have been disabled or killed). I don't understand. In the real world, can people be divined?

It looks good in the front, but the main character becomes a supporting role in the back, which is really frustrating.

I watched it once a few months ago, then gave up on it. I watched it again today, but I still got stuck in the same place, which is the chapter where Takahashi appears in the real world. The previous article was very good, until Hoshino appeared in the real world, the feeling of fate became deeper and deeper, and finally Takahashi appeared in the real world. It's true, it's fate! Everything the protagonist does gives people the feeling that it has been arranged long ago! Very frustrated! I don't know what everyone thinks, but I think you probably don't like fatalism when reading novels. Readers put themselves into the role of the protagonist, and my fate is up to me! How can it be arranged by fate? Of course there are well-written fateful arrangements, but can newcomers grasp it? The beginning is amazing, with occasional ups and downs, and then starts to slide down, not much, but you can see it.

I looked at a few of them, nothing bad about them, I like them a lot, keep up the good work

Chapter 106, Xuedi, I missed a chapter. I'm really sorry. Readers who have subscribed, just read it again. Two thousand words are missing. . .

Chapter 105 Xuedi I missed two thousand words. . . It has a great impact. Readers who have subscribed, just click on it and read it.

Not a single new comment in half a month

By the way, why not upgrade Xiao Hei to the full level? I gain experience quickly, the baby is powerful, and I can still wait for the heroine. I don't understand why it was withdrawn so quickly?