Screaming Dust

🙂 from the group encourage each other. After reading through the first few chapters, I have a little bit of insignificant experience, so the author can use his own discretion. Starting from the most basic, first of all, pay attention to sentence segmentation and paragraphing. Paragraphs that are too long can easily cause reading fatigue😅Although I also experience a similar situation when I write, I still try to avoid it. Secondly, the length of chapters should be controlled at least above 2,000. This is to cater to public habits, and also to meet market rules...(●—●) You will understand when it is released. Third, the description of the scene requires more effort. You can study popular entertainment works, movies, etc. Close-ups, montages, and even pros and cons in dialogues can all be used for reference. With these, you can prevent the world from being flat and allow readers to believe that the story in your fantasy is really possible. Finally, regarding character dialogue, of course the characters here refer to them in general, including the so-called system. This part is of advanced difficulty, but it is also very important: in the description, try to make everyone's words match the character's personality, and strive to be able to get the person who is speaking at a glance without adding "so and so said". For example, the system's broadcast should be a bit colder and try to imitate the rigid and rigid language pattern of the robot. The male protagonist cannot be "humorous" only in places where gags are needed. The order of the words in daily dialogues must also be appropriately changed, and suitable modal particles such as "ah", "ah" and "oh" should be selected to fit the context when they appear, but not too many, otherwise the character will appear childish. There are probably only so many suggestions at the moment. I can see that the author has just started and will make progress slowly😄

If you think the author made something wrong, you can mention it and try to correct it!

New book, please collect it, please protect it, thank you all.