My Hogwarts Is Very Different

I will tell you my opinion. I saw chapter thirty-two. There are many Harry Potter fanfics, and I personally have read many of them. You said in Chapter 32 that your collection recommendations are a little off. I personally feel that the big problem lies in the characterization. As for the image of the protagonist, I feel that you want to portray a protagonist who is decisive in killing and has no poisonous points. No problem, but one thing is that when I read this protagonist, I felt very uncomfortable, a strange sense of separation. The protagonist is impervious to threats, has justice in his heart, and is ruthless in his actions, which all seems to be fine. But if it is transferred to one person, it will be very difficult to deal with. Let me talk about what I find strange. The first one is to refuse Hogwarts... Compensation. There will be a sense of fragmentation here. A precarious person cannot help but ask for money. If there is a reason, it must be that he has never experienced precarious days. He will know honor and disgrace after having enough food and clothing. Of course, we can use food that is not eaten as an example, but there will be very few people like this, and it will make people feel less involved. And there's nothing disrespectful about accepting school funding. The second thing is that the protagonist is angry because of the professor's humiliating look. This is a bit strange. It's not that you shouldn't be angry, but that the reaction is too strong. That is to say, if you are used to being looked down upon by others every day, you can be angry when others despise you, but you should not react as strongly as in the article. The third place is the setting of the plot later. It seems that the protagonist is very angry and disgusted with Slytherin's pure blood theory, and the things the protagonist does here will have a seemingly reasonable but unreasonable feeling. In short, it is like this in an ideal world, but reality is not. For example, Slytherin asked Snape to score extra points. This world was originally very dangerous. The protagonist faced his dean and came in to speak for Gryffindor in the first year. On the bright side, it's fine, but in reality, it feels a bit fragmented. Probably your school teacher comes to defend you and give you extra points, but if you say that the teacher is unfair, you want to give extra points to others, or even help others question your teacher's behavior. This is fine from the perspective of the person you are helping and thinks you are a good person, but what about from the perspective of your teacher? It's a bit uncomfortable here, probably because you are helping someone who is a bit of a hostile force, and you are going to refute the person who is defending you. Of course, I didn't talk about maintenance, it's just a preference. I personally feel a little uncomfortable. The fourth one is to contradict the senior students. To be honest, it can be seen from Hermione that the protagonist is a person with a strong sense of justice. But it would be uncomfortable to contradict the senior here, because the protagonist's behavior is equivalent to separating himself from Slytherin. It cannot be said that it is more likely to put himself in danger. There is an ancient saying that if you are successful, you can help the world; if you are poor, you can only benefit yourself. It should be the setting of the protagonist that he has justice in his heart, but why does it make people feel uncomfortable? Because the protagonist has no ability to help the world at all. In the previous chapter, the author only described the protagonist as being able to hit people with his fists. But here, you may be facing a senior student, and the degree of danger is greatly increased. Although the author later said that the protagonist thinks he can do it and has great strength, but the writing is not brilliant, and the readers cannot understand it at all. Fifth, the protagonist's aggressive behavior will give people a Gryffindor look, which is a bit reckless, because the author did not write that the protagonist is very strong. For example, if you have the east wind in your arms, do you do the daily milk method? , You just make a decision and then act. But if you are like Ka Dazuo, who has nothing, and then the daily breast-feeding method is to be stupid. The author only wrote about the fist that the protagonist used to beat his roommate, and did not write any description related to combat magic. Then I can think that the protagonist is a bad guy in magic combat, but he is also stupid. The character of this protagonist is a little different. The protagonist has been a scavenger for a long time. This kind of person is generally difficult to be motivated and will not be stunned. The sixth one is that the things the protagonist does are of no benefit. The protagonist goes to help that Hufflepuff, but in the end he will only be in great danger, but nothing will be gained. This will be very uncomfortable. Even if you write for your inner understanding, there is a reason, but there is no such thing, that is, the protagonist does not have this motivation. Could it be that when the road is rough, you draw your sword to help? I think this is a bit contrary to the setting of your protagonist. The seventh one, where I feel a bit disconnected, is betrayal. Maybe it cannot be said that the protagonist most likely does not regard himself as a Slytherin, but from the reader's point of view, you are a Slytherin, and others also see you as a Slytherin. Emmmm, how can I put it this way? You have a reason to hate Slytherin. If it's because of its theory, you don't have such conflicts that make you hate Slytherin. For example, if you see a university, would you help a somewhat hostile school to hack your own school? Most likely not, unless this school has done something that makes you feel uncomfortable, but there is no such thing at the beginning of the whole article, and Snape's attitude towards you is not bad. The eighth one is meddling too much. As a person who has traveled through the past, there may be some places where the author is trying to lead to the plot later, but it is a bit blunt, such as when he was choked when he greeted Andy in the library at the beginning. Later, I had the idea of ​​competing with Andy for that girl. Don't even think about this, because it's like a friend you just met and there's a conflict between a friend you've known for many years. But you know that person, would you want to help your friend speak out? Although I didn't go there, if I have this idea, I will feel disconnected. To sum up, I personally feel that you wrote about a person who encountered various encounters with garbage scavenging in the first half of his life, but your setting of him will feel a little disconnected from this gangster who lives in the garbage dump. It is true to be ruthless, but being nosy, not considering the consequences, a little reckless, and having an inexplicable self-esteem is not something that someone from such a background would do. It is more like a kid from a rich family or someone with no social experience. But this is my personal opinion and is for reference only. The author can think about whether what I said is right.

I just discovered it. When the game comes out, there are only a lot of people writing about HP.

Is Polyjuice Potion an intelligence-lowering potion?

In fact, it was okay to be assigned to the Snake House, but the excuses for his behavior in class later felt inexplicable. In addition, the roommate who was in the same dormitory later felt like he was trying to create a conflict, just like those American dramas and Marvel movies that like to cast Chinese or mixed-race and then add discrimination. What many people can't handle is that it is inexplicable and makes people think why not just make the protagonist white or mixed-race and look more white.

It is recommended to adjust the next paragraph so that the description is too similar to an analysis summary and a film review analysis, rather than a story.

Update it quickly, come on, think about the questions I gave you, and then if you have time, slightly change the front part, the recommendation has been voted in.

After reading it, I found a question: Who is the heroine? It took me a long time to write the first half of the original work, but I felt like I had stopped writing the last few chapters.

I really want to ask, why is it that fantasy nowadays is all about Harry Potter? I'm so annoyed.