After Passing Through the Book, I Joined Forces with the Heroine

There are too many commas, the sentences are fragmented, and the reading experience is extremely poor... In addition, the personal pronouns are unclear, which also makes the reading confusing. I hope it can be improved in the future. For example, when the author writes about the psychological activities of character A, he will use "he" to refer to A himself, and when writing about character A's inner view of B, he will use "he" to refer to B. This will cause various "him" and "them" to fly around in a multi-person confrontation scene, making it very unclear to the reader.

The cutie who has already rewarded you can look here. The witch who likes to fly under the stars on a magic broomstick uses her powerful magic to build a huge castle in a beautiful place with green mountains and green water. The castle is integrated into the rules of space, with countless bedrooms of different styles. At this time, the witch's friends came from far away one after another and chose their favorite bedrooms to stay in.        ，，：X，X-a， For example: Floor 11, No. 1145. The little cuties should get along well with each other and avoid fighting over the bedroom.

I love it without cp, I have invested, please do your best!

I'm curious if I'm friends with the original heroine! It shouldn't be the heroine Kurohara, right? The beginning seems to be about setting up the original male protagonist as the villain, which is very good. I hope there is no female rivalry~

The investment income is there, wow, hahaha, more than 300, the witch is big, don't cheat, I'm waiting for you to continue to update 3,000 words, for a month.

Soul Painter——Seven-Star Ancient Moon Sword Wrote a wrong word, and there is no blank paper to draw again

It's tiring to read, the perspective keeps changing, and the smooth plot is always interrupted by sudden off-site commentary. It would be okay if there are only a few paragraphs. Several chapters are talking about what a mysterious man who suddenly appears is doing... Please control the author. I know that multi-line narrative is right, but when the protagonist is about to die, turning to talk about the characters outside the scene, the reading experience is really bad At least wait until the protagonist is confirmed to survive...

Damn, the introduction is buggy!

Internet image intrusion and deletion

Why did I read the title of the book as "I lost contact with the heroine after passing through the book"!

Very interesting, thank you to the author

The writing is so messy😰

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The second seal: Ice Realm, Law of Ice, Ice and Snow

If this chapter involves the following content, please indicate the specific chapters and paragraphs for me to report: 1. Deliberately causing war 2. Insulting the author/reader 3. Advertising 4. Personal attack Thank you for your support of the Witch Crystal Ball~ 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏