Legend of Hundred Generals from Another World

I have been writing it for more than ten days, and I have received several recommendation votes. I don't know if any friends can read my story at this stage. If anyone can share a few thoughts with me, I will be extremely grateful to you.

Brother, your setting is great, I admire you very much, because I am not capable of writing such a detailed setting. Actually, I have always wanted to write the ideal story in my heart. It was a book that I signed at Chuangshi last year. I wrote that book very seriously. Although the results were not ideal, I enjoyed it. Later, the net was blocked when it came to ghosts and gods, and I fell silent for a long time without writing. Actually, if you want to sign a contract, I can make some suggestions from a reader's perspective. I only read the first ten chapters. You like to start with a long speech, and then follow it with a description of a character. I suggest that you can change the writing method in several ways. In fact, it will look very monotonous and make people have no desire to read on. If it continues in a loop, it will even be a bit confusing. There is also paragraph division. You can try to make the sentences in each paragraph more concise and remove some unnecessary descriptions. Then you need to try to establish your protagonist, what he likes, what he wants to do, and you can add more character descriptions and side descriptions. These are all problems I had in the past. Later, I corrected some of them through diligent observation and writing. If you are thinking about signing a contract, you might as well come and talk to me. Although I am a slut, I almost always have a page when I publish a book. I can give you some advice. I admire people who insist on writing what they think in their hearts🙏