Dragon Ball: the Rise of Martial Arts

Most of the people in Dragon Ball are not normal people. Son Goku and Vegeta are Saiyans, Piccolo is a Namekian, Tianjin Fan is a descendant of the Three Eyes, Krillin has no nose (I don't know how to breathe), Oolong is a pig, and it seems that only Yamcha is the real earthling.

More paragraphs, don't write about running water, the progress is too fast, write more about training or developing moves, or using Qi to develop and strengthen the body, more descriptions of battles, and some emotional scenes.

I just read the introduction, and then looked at the word count, and sure enough, people on Earth will not last long in the Dragon Ball world🌚

Dragon Ball Time Travel is actually not that interesting if it's not a Saiyan. Although the theme is to make a wish with the Dragon Ball, the one that impressed us the most is the Super Saiyan.

People on earth really don't deserve it. To be honest, people on earth don't deserve it either

Author, it's better to add "" in the dialogue, so that it will be more pleasing to the eye.

I feel like I don't have much expectations for this. The author has published both books. Shouldn't he study it first? Practice your writing first.

It's time for the complementary characters. She has the character of a slut plus Erha. You insisted on writing it as an innocent girl, and the second chapter was an embarrassment to me. The most interesting thing about Bulma in the early stage is her timid and out-of-the-way character. After watching a little bit, I found it a bit disappointing. It didn't have its own story, it was just a forced plot. I don't know how many fanfics have been written about Dragon Ball. If you don't have anything interesting, no one will read it. If it's just to practice writing, forget it. I have read no less than five million-word movies about male protagonists born on Earth. The outlines are generally very similar. The difference is that some follow the main plot closely, that is, the male protagonist always uses the plot to become stronger than the plot and then pretends to be a b-plot. Also, there were a lot of orcs on Earth in the early stage, but they were all gone in the later stage. I don't know if you explained that. I will just make a few remarks casually. Just read it, the author, and don't pay too much attention to it.

Write this kind of novel. But you have to think carefully about the system you want to write about. It seems that there is a Dragon Ball book that writes about national martial arts. It collapsed when it wrote about the tiger, leopard and thunder sound. If you read more, many Dragon Ball martial arts books will collapse.

There are few people on earth, so the theme should be developed on the use of qi.

Except for Yamcha and Bulma, none of the powerful earthlings in the Dragon Ball world are ordinary people, including the three-eyed man, the noseless man, and Frankenstein.

Just like Naruto and One Piece, hot-blooded Japanese comics are based on bloodline and ability. There is no difference between pure earthlings and cannon fodder 😴

Brother, you are too honest. It would be better if you divide more points into lower parts.

Not many people who come to see Dragon Ball watch martial arts, so you should think about it because of your poor grades.

If the progress is too fast, it won't be so good. Write more about the fighting and emotions.

Break it into more paragraphs. If a paragraph is too long, it will become boring. There are also more people on earth who can train their minds and improve their dimensions like Kaiōshin and others.

If you don't have your own story and copy the plot, wouldn't it just be a running account?

I think there could be more punctuation marks, the sentence is so long 😰