Hill in Harry Potter

The writing style is relatively empty. The author skips or mentions in one sentence the parts that could enrich the content and make the article more three-dimensional.

The protagonist of this novel really jumps between being a male chauvinist and being a bitch. Looking at the whole story, you have to deal with everything that happens to Hermione, and everything depends on you. So what does Hermione do, follow the protagonist into trouble and find something for you to do? What is Hermione's charm? You took away Hermione's charm, you were too involved in Hermione's life and not in a good way. When you set your strength to increase with age, then you are not too strong. Why don't you give Hermione some tricks? You can also persuade Hermione to learn more spells and memorize less history. In the original book, Hermione is brave and unflustered during adventures, and has clear thinking. Although she is not as quick-witted as Potter, she still performs well. Wouldn't she be a good helper if she has more means? You win every time you add it, but can you catch up every time? Your little butterfly won't cause accidents, and you can't say clearly that I just knew you would be in danger. Normal people would ask their friends to use more methods to make it safer. Are you afraid that Hermione is too talented in the original book and giving her a magic spell will make you redundant? It's enough for you to help with important matters of life and death. Why are you everywhere? You take care of too much. (Do you know what hollow disease is? It means that some excellent, strong and competitive people feel that life is too smooth and there are no challenges. Everything is to please others and live for a certain standard of others. There is no such thing as their own life. Meaning. Check it out.) Your novel is overall too chauvinistic, which greatly weakens Hermione's independence, and some plots are too dog-like. Forcibly demoting a rational heroine like Hermione, it appears to be a bloody drama (I guess you have watched too many such dramas, and regard being unreasonable as coquettishness? Treat gentleness as infinite tolerance?)

An adult who has been the same age as Hermione's mother in two lifetimes combined, is possessive of an eleven-year-old girl? What is going on? Kindergarten teachers face kindergarten children every day and play interactive games with them, so they will not have the mindset of a toddler. Psychological age is related to the accumulation of knowledge and the precipitation of social interactions.

It's like the déjà vu of an old bachelor who hasn't seen a woman in millions of years... The writing was good at first, but the more he wrote, the worse it got. I was disgusted by the toad. You even said you were nosy, but it turned out to be like a licking dog... Isn't it because magic is not good? Toad, you look a lot like Toad.

Name: Alwen (Flower Fairy) Gender: Female Race: Mythical Creature Occupation: Patron Saint Talents: Healing, spawning plants Skills: Mastering natural magic, immune to magic damage Weapon: Flower Ring Symbol: Blue Rose Character: Sinister Favorite Things: Master and Absinthe Classic Quotes: Do humans want to know the mysteries of nature? Faction: Order Character image: Wearing a crown of roses, long petal wings on the back, thin ribbons on the arms, wearing a purple Roland starry skirt, the body is surrounded by flying petals, as long as you are willing to walk, flowers bloom, plants grow, and are not afraid of damage from any passionate weapons Introduction: The flower fairy who was born from the fantasy of the natural world and human good wishes, fell asleep in the blue roses, was bought back by the male protagonist, and went back to plant and carefully take care of the blue roses. The moment the flowers bloom, it is recognized that For the male protagonist, for the master, become the patron saint of the male protagonist The picture below is an introduction to my supporting role and natural magic. If the handsome author sees it, please reply to me and help set this up as the essence version to prevent it from being blocked. I will reward you. , Thank you {"NickName":"","UserId":345759669}

In fact, I don't understand every time why girls have to be so cautious, as if it's wrong not to let them go. If they lose their temper, just let them lose their temper. You don't want to chase her, nor do you want to kneel down and lick her.

The writing is okay. It's just that the protagonist is tired of watching it. What on earth does the protagonist want to do? I can't even handle interpersonal relationships well... I feel worse than a child... It would be fine if the protagonist was really a child, but he traveled through time! Are you pretending to be a child and don't even have any emotional intelligence?

In the early stage, I felt that Hermione's writing was really annoying. After reading more than a dozen chapters, I felt that it was too accommodating. From the beginning of buying the book, the protagonist was short of money. As mentioned later, you bought useless books just to exchange with Hermione. What are you doing? The first time they met, it was neither a relative nor an acquaintance, and the protagonist Goldfinger was not a close friend who could change what the protagonist and the supporting characters could gain. In order to fit the image of a child, it makes no sense that he has been independent since he was a child and has his own study room. Enthusiasm is okay, but the protagonist who has already set the beginning does not want to have too much concern. The same goes for later. I feel like every time Hermione shows up, she's just here to make people sick. Maybe it's prejudice! But Hermione's portrayal is still a bit poor. Others are okay, especially the stairs climbing, which is really good and respects knowledge. By the way, I suddenly thought of Sorting. What is the reason for going to Gryffindor? I don't want to be noticed, but going to Gryffindor under hypnosis, whether the protagonist respects knowledge and goes to Ravenclaw or goes to Hufflepuff in a low-key manner, it's good!

The reason your grades are so bad is that you can't write about female protagonists. You can't control the emotional scenes at all. For your next novel, don't write about female protagonists. If you can't control it, it will easily turn into a dog-licking novel. You should listen to our opinions. Everyone knows that you should use your strengths and avoid weaknesses. If you are not good at it, you should try to avoid it and give full play to your own advantages.

It's so licking. A person who is nearly 30 years old wants to lick an 11-year-old child. I am speechless.

Let me just say this, there will definitely be buffs when Harry fanfics write about Hermione. Of course, good writing is the key. As for a lot of talk about what happened when they saw the heroine Hermione, I just want to say, which real man would get tired of seeing beautiful women? Unless she is old and crosses.

It's really cool. In the early stage, it deceived readers in various ways, and then it turned into a bitch in no time! How disgusting!

The heroine is really the whole flaw of the book. The author really doesn't know how to write. If I want to describe it, when I see the daily activities of the protagonist and Hermione, my heart feels like it is being pressed with hands. Embarrassing as hell. [Barren words, unable to describe the feeling] I really suggest the author not to write it. This heroine can slowly fade it away.

I gave up after reading only Chapter 11, the main character was too licky. What does he have to do with Hermione? Do you want an apology here or compensation there?

This scene where he doesn't want to get involved with the threesome at first, and then flirts with Hermione is simply disgusting. What kind of male protagonist is he with such a face and no dignity? Let's lick the dog

In fact, the heroine Hermione is very popular.

I don't really like Hermione, a pig-footed girl.

Let me comment, I don't know if the author can see it. I have only read three or four chapters so far. If there is anything inappropriate that I have mentioned, I hope the author will understand. First of all, as mentioned in the first two chapters, the background is the world, eternal life, the inheritance of the planeswalker, and the visual inspection of the heroine Hermione. Have you ever considered what will happen to Hermione after the protagonist leaves this world? It doesn't match the previous settings. Of course, the protagonist can also be a scumbag, build a world, stay there for a while, and throw in a female protagonist. There is no problem, but you must have an indifferent and uncaring attitude at the beginning. Secondly, it is a common problem among men. When it comes to female characters, they are cute, or they are embarrassed, and they are a mess of jade feet, soft skin, and so on. Can it be different? She acted as if she had never gotten along with a female classmate in real life. That female classmate gets embarrassed instead of angry after meeting her twice? That girl treats her opposite-sex friends as boyfriends? Don't mention that Hermione is only 11 years old now! Of course, it's okay for you to say that Hermione has a crush on the male protagonist. At least it should be hinted or made explicit. (To be honest, this background and the single heroine setting really cue me. Planeswalkers, immortals, evil gods, and why the path of the mage is cut off are all interesting. You can dig deeper. I am waiting to see how the school will be organized. Can you let me have an ambiguous relationship with Hermione on the train?) Sorry for being a little emotional, and I hope the author doesn't mind.

I got annoyed when I got into Gryffindor, so I ran away.

Author, why don't you stop writing? The protagonist wants to be a fool and act like a licking dog, eating his past experiences? ? ? How disgusting... Does the girl Hermione smell so good? ? So perverted

As mentioned, I will choose some appropriate names to use, and you can also make more detailed settings.

After death, the soul will return to hell. Those who have experienced love, hatred or ascetic monks are the favorites of the devil. Therefore, there are so many people in the world who believe in gods and hope to ascend to heaven after death and avoid the pain of the devil devouring their souls. What use is the human soul to the gods?