Shadow Mercenary Group

The writing is quite good, and it is quite imaginative in some places, but the pace is too fast, as if I want to finish the story at once and slow down the pace.

Wow, why did the one I sent before be swallowed... Please change the number and send it again. After briefly reading the first few chapters, the author's writing style is good and his writing style is unique. Although it is in the first person, the whole text reads very smoothly, and the setting of the world view is not cliche. But since the author has invested in me, I only talk about the advantages without giving any opinions. I feel a little guilty, so I might as well give my opinions. My biggest feeling from the first few chapters of this article is that I have no desire to read on. The protagonist has always been in a "passive" state, being hired, invited to join the war, and hired again... This kind of narrative leaves readers with no sense of expectation, and the sense of involvement will plummet. If there is no sense of expectation at the beginning of an online article, it will actually be difficult for it to stand out. Describing an event, the reader thinks that result A will be achieved, but in the end a struggle leads to outcome B. This is called the ups and downs of the plot; if the reader does not know whether the outcome of the event is A or B, and becomes curious, this is called suspense. But if the reader has no clear idea of ​​the achieved result and just passively accepts the author's narrative - A is achieved first, and then B is achieved, this is called a straightforward narrative. No matter how wonderfully the description of the process from A to B is, it is still uninteresting. This is the role of anticipation. There are many ways to create a sense of anticipation, such as setting a goal-for this article, it can be that the protagonist urgently needs a lot of money, or the protagonist needs to defeat a powerful enemy. Readers will naturally look forward to how the protagonist makes money and grows, and they will have the desire to read on. Of course, you can also write about a dilemma. For example, the protagonist's mercenary group is at a low point, or the protagonist's status among the mercenaries is very low. Readers naturally hope to see Pig's Feet and the mercenary group achieve a counterattack. In addition, the way to create a sense of expectation can also refer to the five major human needs theory - physiological needs, safety needs, social needs, esteem needs and self-actualization needs. These rules are universal, and any one of them can give readers a sense of expectation and involvement. The above is just my humble opinion and may be biased. It is for reference only by the author.

It's pretty passable, so let's just watch it 🤭

Dear writer, your new book is very good. I have joined the new book investment group. Please update~