Burial Immortal Record

The scene creation in the first chapter was very successful. 02 Eating human flesh makes me shudder when I think about it. The beginning reminded me of a movie many years ago, which seemed to be called "Red Agent" (manual comedy) It would be better if the settings in Chapter 2 were streamlined a little. It looks more cumbersome. To be honest, after reading it over and over, I can remember very little information about levels and training methods. Chapter 3 I guess the black dragon is a shadow, I wonder if I am right. Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, how can I put it, this is a matter of philosophy. I think a killer should do whatever it takes to achieve a mission. If he doesn't move, he will be killed. If he moves, he will kill with one hit. If he misses, he will run away thousands of miles away. But these two killers you created... Fight with daggers... emmm It's not a big problem, after all, the concepts are different. The killer in my concept is mainly assassination. The killer in your concept may come to the door openly with a knife, and then kill the god in the way of God, or kill the Buddha in the way of Buddha... It's all the same, it's all the same, anyone who can kill is a good killer. If I were to evaluate these three killers - these killers are not too cold. Chapter 7, okay, I guessed wrong, the black dragon horse seems to be related to the abyss. Chapter 8, Mu Qianmo, a very literary name. I give Taixiaoge a thumbs up because the protagonist I wrote is named Lingxiao 233333 Chapter 9 to Chapter 11 are a bit boring about practice, practice, practice, and there is almost no advancement in the plot. It is recommended to streamline it and continue to expand the main line. Chapter 12, the plot finally begins to continue. Is it possible that this sword spirit is the heroine? ? ? Chapter 13, although I regard the Evil Star Tower as the villain, I don't have a strong dislike for the Evil Star Tower. Chapter 14, Nice, this fat woman successfully aroused my disgust towards her... Chapter 15, there are too many narrations, Liang Jingru is very entertaining. Chapter 16, hahaha, my waist is only big enough to hold in my hand, are you copying this sentence from Tudou? The little girl is described so beautifully... Could she really be the heroine? Chapter 17, Chapter 18, the protagonist's ruthlessness is a bit like a killer. The soul-killing bead leads to a branch line? Chapter 19-20, there is no progress in the main plot. . . Chapter 21, daily trivial matters lead to a small suspense. Chapter 22, regarding some foreshadowing issues, it is difficult for a clever woman to make a meal without rice! How can I guess this without any clues? To give an overall evaluation of these 60,000 words, the writing style in the early stage is good. It is obvious that the writing was carefully polished at the beginning, but it is reasonable that the writing style declines in the later stage. The sense of immersion is very strong, which is very nice. With the sense of immersion, the novel is half successful. Plot, if the writing is rated 9 points, the plot can only be rated 3 points. I sorted out the plot of these 22 chapters and felt that the main plot was advanced very slowly, and too many daily running accounts took up a lot of space. Many holes were dug, but very few were buried. When they were buried later, the previous holes were probably forgotten. The main plot is very unclear. The protagonist's big goal is to uncover the mystery of his life experience, but there is a lack of staged small goals, and it feels like the writing is too random. Character creation, what I remember, 02, 03, 05, the old man guarding the tomb, Xiaoxi, and then nothing more... Let's take a guess at the next plot direction. Forget it, I won't analyze it anymore. The word count is limited. Come on! Let's work together! I hope everyone doesn't want eunuchs.

The genre is very attractive. I suggest you change the introduction. I think the current introduction is a bit... That kind of attractive but not able to attract people's attention immediately. You can try to create suspense of an event in the introduction. Come on

This is the first time I read a novel of this type, and it feels quite novel. The author's description of the environment is particularly immersive and camera-like. The transitions between scenes are also very natural. In addition, the storyline can be clearly written and of course the writing style is also very good. Come on! Another little question, why do some conversations have quotation marks and some don't?

How can I put it this way, I don't like watching male videos very much, but the ones written in Dada are really good. I read Dada's comments and looked at the homepage out of habit. I found a good book out of habit and laughed. My habit is really good. I haven't finished it yet. I'll talk about other things after reading it. I just watched 3, hehehe.

Here it is, the first post! My!

After reading it, I would guess that the big word is human nature. To be honest, this book is indeed very well written. In terms of character portrayal and scene setting, there is nothing to fault. Come on, express your love 02

I have a lot of regrets, but there is nothing I can do about it... I feel sorry for you 💔 Thank you for your consideration, goodbye...

Come on Luda＾0＾~＾0＾~＾0＾~＾0＾~＾0＾~

Ah ha, this is my first time reading a fantasy novel with this theme. It feels very novel. Personally, I feel that it is very difficult to write a story where the protagonist is a killer, because as a killer protagonist, and he was raised from a young age, he will inevitably have an aura that is unapproachable to strangers, which is commonly known as "murderous aura", "evil aura", etc. In this way, there are actually good and bad. The bad thing is of course the cold nature, making it difficult to truly communicate with others; and the good thing is that this kind of protagonist will be very interesting, and readers will have a sense of expectation when watching it. I have to say that the description of the memory killing at the beginning is really great and exciting. When you read the words, you can have a picture in your mind. This is a very successful point. To put it officially, it is... The plot is compact and not draggy, and the story is smooth and not embarrassing. The writing style is amazing and the writing style is very realistic. Ahahaha~ Why do I feel a bit like that kind of robot 😂😂 Great work, author~

Reply This is my first time reading a novel with this theme. I have never even watched male videos, so I hope you won't dislike this review. First, although the setting is a Western fantasy, the writing feels a bit Chinese-style. I particularly like this style of writing. It feels different from other Western fantasy books I have read before (for example, Jiangnan's book, I really just flipped through it and couldn't read it). Secondly, the scene feels very strong. The scene of the children in the room described above has a strong sense of immersion, and I want to watch it. (This is handled much better than me, hahaha, I need to learn from you). Thirdly, the characterization is quite three-dimensional, and the killer image of the protagonist is very readable. Also, I saw a child slowly eating human flesh before. I thought this was also the protagonist (laughing and crying), because the protagonists must be different from others emmm Fourthly, the author has some sentences that are so good that I couldn't help but want to copy them into a notebook (hahahaha), which shows that the literary skills are still good. Fifth, if I want to talk about something that makes me look very, very awkward. Regarding punctuation, there are some places where I really feel that punctuation should be added! You are trying to force your obsessive-compulsive disorder to death! Seeing this kind of place where there should be punctuation and you not having me really makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I really want to drag you out and beat you up. You just want to force your obsessive-compulsive disorder to death. Fifth, and there is a slight problem, is about paragraphing. Although I also know that it is not good to crowd together, I feel that some paragraphs in the same sentence are somewhat unnecessary. I can't give any good advice on this, because I can't handle it myself (laughing and crying). PS: This is also the first time I write such a long review. The above, best wishes, let us encourage each other.

I just came to take a look, and it's actually about to end~~~This fate... Is over, let's go hiking together 🤭

May you always have a heart as happy and innocent as a child. Happy Children's Day, big kid!

✨ ("\(●-●) \ / 0\ \ (           )"   \__T__/

This is the first time I have seen a novel with a killer theme. The background of the first novel is very attractive and relaxed, and the chapter stops at the most exciting part without continuing to describe it, which is enough to attract my attention. The environment and characters are well described. Some of the plot can be downplayed and try to match the specific environment of the characters' lives. I don't know if there will be any more exciting content in the future. There are not enough words in the novel now (if you want to write a medium-length novel). You can do some foreshadowing in the early stage. Don't rush to fill in the holes. The span can be longer and you can remember it. Later, you can add more new characters to enrich it and fill in the previous foreshadowing. It is perfect duck۹(･༥･´)و ̑̑. Oh, by the way, there are some short sentences in the article, which are scene changes or other explanations? ? That one has no punctuation, and it looks a little uncomfortable. You can use [] similar to this, which personally feels better. Looking forward to your next updates, come on (◦˙▽˙◦)

I will clean up some of my comments and chapters or posts, if it is no longer there... Please pretend you haven't seen it, and please don't care...

In the past two days, this book... OVER, finished. No comments, thank you for accompanying me, see you later❤️

It's well written and will be added to the bookshelf decisively. Welcome to give it a thumbs up and work hard together 🍀

I'm passing by on the street, come on, come on, come on, come on

I've been busy for several days and finally it's here~