I'm Not the System's Pet

As long as the thighs are hugged well, no villain can't be kicked down! Is the end coming soon? It doesn't matter, I have a system at hand, and I can acquire a powerful owner (hard! Cross out) pet in minutes! Huh, the end of the world? As long as the thighs are hugged well, no villain can't be kicked down! If so, then have two feet! I am Ye west, a man destined to defeat the world! I speak for myself!