Kyle in the Marvel Universe

Author: I have only read the second chapter. It feels good, but I find that your writing is very bad. ——The following are just suggestions, not criticism. Many paragraphs of online articles are different from traditional literature, because online articles are essentially novels, and novels require dialogue and psychological description. These things need to be done by the author alone, otherwise they will look very distorted. The long descriptions in prose can be as little as possible. In addition to describing the scene, try not to exceed three lines in a paragraph. Otherwise, readers will feel a sense of clutter when reading. As for you, the author, now - at least the first two chapters, there are a lot of full-page paragraphs, which is not conducive to reading. Teach the author a little trick: after writing a paragraph, read it in one breath. When you get out of breath, the author will consider whether to divide it into paragraphs. Although it sounds unpleasant to say, online articles are still read in fragments. Unlike traditional articles, readers do not have so much time to understand your words. You need to mash up your articles, chew them up, and feed them to readers. The author can look at the novels on the ranking list, and even if they say something about it, no matter what the content is, their articles can be read at a glance without thinking at all. Finally, I hope the author will revise the beginning - a good beginning is half the battle! Come on ^0^~! Finally, a 500 reward and new book investment are given!

Can you get a better-looking cover, author?

I don't think we should form a force.

I want to find a spoon killer who will beat you like crazy if you don't update 100 chapters a day.

If you can make more updates, give me a reward

You can be a magician in the Marvel world, create heaven, create an army of angels, and kill TN's Hydra and Thanos

Please don't tarnish Kyle. Thank you. What you wrote is Thresh. It's so disgusting.

Create an army of female angels and conquer all heavens and worlds

If those curse words were changed to, bastard, idiot, bug, filthy. If I were replaced by me, my performance would be much higher...

Oh my gosh, although it feels great, there are too many swear words! ! ! Seriously affects the reading experience! Obviously Kyle is a person like Kesha, but this is completely written like a ruffian. Even if time travel happens in the future, he is definitely not this kind of person! The wave of world will cannot be overcome.

I don't like a system that talks nonsense. The system can occasionally complain, but don't be too ordinary. If you let a system have nothing to do and chat with the protagonist, it will be very annoying, just like a schizophrenic quarreling with himself. It does not help the development of the plot, and it also looks very watery! 😰😰😰

The character setting is a little too stereotyped The creativity is very good The writing is enough to support a good story Why not spend more time polishing the protagonist's character? Since you are an angel, you should stop using rude and childish words. It's very funny.

As Kyle who has one of the strongest beliefs in the Alliance universe, I don't ask you to have her toughness of thousands of blades and the fury of flames. But please don't use Kyle's appearance in the Marvel universe to speak Chinese and curse people. I really can't stand it anymore.

To be honest, I really like this kind of light novel fanfic. I like the subject matter very much, but I feel that it was completely written down by the author. As an angel and a gangster, the writing method is the same. It is difficult to imagine an angel. In other words, the quality is too low. The behavior and personality of a gangster are added to a holy angel. It also specially emphasizes the Chinese language. It is really a birdman.

Author, don't write too much about the protagonist's mouth smelling sweet, we are all serious people 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

You still write a hammer. The book was released in early December last year and now on March 24, I have only written 41 chapters. Why do you still write a hammer?

Although I'm not ***, what did you write? There's a devil's story wrapped in the skin of an angel, right? Isn't the definition of Judgment Angel Kyle the same as Kesha of Super Seminary?

Author, can't you use less swear words? Chapter 4: Do you want to persuade someone to quit?

I'm a eunuch, I'll kill you and let you die very rhythmically

I hope the author can see it. Have you ever thought about it, isn't it awkward that pig's trotter weapons have to be bought with "money", and there is a "villain" in your ear who smacks this and that every day? Isn't your setting not very good? As far as I am concerned, there is a system setting for Pig's Knuckle which is of no use. If you don't use it, there will be no system to please you. A little suggestion. 🔨🔨

Author, your angel is completely different from what I thought. I only saw the sixth picture. If you change it later, you can't curse people as if I didn't say it. After all, you are from a girl's family, and you are an angel. You have to have your own style, well, just like the angels from the super seminary. You can be dirty, but don't say it too much.