This Is Not the Britain I Know

I originally wanted to comment on my opinions after reading the chapters before they were released, but after seeing Chapter 41 Norwich, I really wanted to say something. 1. The story is very bland, so bland that there are a few places that whet your appetite and you can't find a reason to read on. 2. There are a lot of writing errors. Reading the book requires decoding and understanding who said to whom and what was said based on the context. 3. Some places were not explained clearly. For example, Shia gave a 100-pound passbook to Borden, and then Borden returned it intact a month later (without explaining the expenditure and then making up the money). So the function of this passbook is to let Shia, the time traveler, know that he has a sum of money, and then find out who gave the money? 4. Transitions, memories, etc., Are not divided. 5. Although there are many problems, I quite like the current outline of the world described by the author. The undercurrent of London before the exposition made me want to know the story behind it.

Emm, the introduction is quite interesting, but the character introduction is unclear, the first person point of view makes no sense, and the clues are a mess. If the author writes his own book, then better work. If it's for readers, he'd better change it!

What an interesting story. I feel like you can completely revise the script of this story and submit it to a film or animation company. As a reader, I feel that I am not very satisfied with the hasty ending. The emotional line is too hasty and too late. If the heroine is not changed, I feel that flashbacks or interludes can be used to increase the appearance time. Now it feels a bit light and heavy, but it still has no feet. Adding a few chapters to write about the grand occasion of the expo as the first volume of the sunset is a good choice in my opinion. (If you are unwilling to continue writing, then may I try to write a fanfic?)

Please add a dividing line for character transitions, memories, etc. It's very well written.

I was attracted by the introduction and read 5 chapters. Let me have an unwritten opinion. The story is very messy, and the phone number in the introduction does not appear. Since you choose to use the first person, you must write from the first person perspective, writing what "I" saw, what I did, and what I thought. Instead of narrating other people's memories, the author's current writing method simply replaces the protagonist's name with "I", which is essentially the third person. Written online articles should be divided into paragraphs, preferably one sentence at a time, to facilitate readers to read on a small screen. The most noteworthy thing is the "sense of the times", which is what is described in the introduction. London in the 19th century was the capital of the most powerful country in the world and the center of the world. The luxury of the aristocrats, the joys and sorrows of the workers, the roaring steam engines, the foggy weather, and Wen Zouzou's London accent. These details are also the style of London, and they are all lacking in the book The first chapter describes the train, but later... I believe you if you say this story takes place in France or the United States. Maybe the author hasn't had time to start yet, but for a new book, the beginning must be attractive. Fortunately, the book has just been opened, so I can slowly revise it.

Reading the beginning, the writing is very interesting, but if you don't have a reader foundation, your grades may rise slowly.

After the modification, it really looks much more comfortable.

Wardian, in the year 9102, there are still people writing first-person novels, which is commendable for their courage. I hope you don't hit your head and bleed.

Two chapters to persuade me to quit, the first person is a poisonous point, changing the third person to the first person is not a good change, the writing is too messy and poisonous, by the way, you don't even read what you write? ?

180,000 Words, 280 recommendation votes, this book is so poisonous, I won't try it

I still prefer the third person. The first person is not as immersive as described in the textbook. On the contrary, the fast pace of online writing makes many things difficult to remember and even confusing. After all, it is not just your book.

The personal pronoun is too confusing. It is strongly recommended to refer to the third person and never intersperse it back and forth.

Some places are wordy and need to be deleted. Also, they need to be divided into paragraphs. One natural paragraph is too long.

Dear writer, your new book is very good. I have joined the new book investment group. Please update~

First person. . . It collapsed accidentally

After reading more than ten chapters, I can't tell what kind of story this is.

This book feels like a waste.

There is nothing interesting in the first 3 chapters, how can I continue reading this...

When I saw it on the shelves, I didn't find any specific reasons to stop it, but there wasn't a particularly big ** to keep reading. That's it, just give it a try and come back to it after a while.

I came in confidently due to the outline. The first few chapters were okay, but the more I wrote, the more chaotic it became. I hope the author will work harder.

I just saw someone talking about the first person. After flipping through a few pages, I did have some perception issues. I think the best one written in the first person recently is the Demon Conquering Expert. You can take a look, although I don't know why the first person is not good.

Goodbye first person, most people can't write first person right now.

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