Harry Potter and Eternal Life

The poison test is completed: It is written like a running account, basically copying the plot of the original work, with confusing rhythm and inappropriate details.

There are many small problems, such as Hannah's Hogpuff, not Gryffindor, for example, did Hagrid give Harry a flute for Christmas? It's not rock cake, it will be useful against the three-headed dog later. Where else could the musical instrument come from?

When I saw all the stamina points at the beginning, I didn't want to watch it anymore. A wizard points stamina points. Do you want to be a fighting mad wizard?

The writing is very poor, the description needs to be polished more. The main character doesn't follow the plot and has no charm. He also hooks up with others, and behaves like a scumbag.

How should I put it? If the protagonist had a different origin and background, even if he was a Muggle, it would be good. This seems to be the first one I have seen written using Weasley. It is simply poisonous.

In the first chapter, he was told to quit, which was extremely poisonous. First person? English is a sophisticated language? Running account?

It feels like the progress is too fast. . Flying?

After reading Chapter 8, I really can't stand it anymore. It's said to be a running account, but it doesn't look like it. It's hard to attract people to read. It's like reading an outline. I hope the author can revise it, otherwise it will be really difficult to read.

There's no plot, it's a complete anecdote.

Don't talk about the author of this book. I think he wrote very well. If I ask you to write it, he might write worse.

The first chapter poisoned me, and I died at the age of 24 😭

After reading five journals, I can't stand it anymore.