Immortal Dharma God

It is the first time for a newcomer to write a book. Please use your little hands to collect it and send recommendation votes. You can also invest in it 😎😎😎

I have changed a lot of things and hope to get feedback.

The idea is okay, but the writing style is not. Take a group of people and make it look like a nursery, which is not pleasant to watch. It is very difficult for a novice writer to write a protagonist well, and writing a lot of people to follow him is a big poisonous point. If he does not deal with it as soon as possible, the whole novel will be ruined.

New books and new authors, please pay attention and collect them. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

The nest is like a pigeon, and there is no equipment and no harm.

Received, please check in first. 😁😁😁

The start is okay, author, cheers

Come on, work hard, have collected it and come to visit with "Taikoo Zunxian"

It has just been refined. I hope you can provide more comments after reading it. Don't be afraid of being unpleasant. Every comment is an encouragement to the author. Thank you all

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