Scourge of Origin

I'm just going to talk about the perception of Lao Bai's experience. It's up to the author to decide whether or not to change it. After all, anyone who has been around the industry for a long time knows that it is taboo for readers to criticize the author. ————After reading the first chapter———— The writing skills are very good, but the plot arrangement is still messy. I think the contradictory ideas at the beginning are very correct, but the background still needs to be explained clearly and not in a roundabout way. Who is the protagonist, why is he killing people, who is the person being killed, what are the benefits of the protagonist, what is the core conflict, where is the sense of expectation, what is the golden finger - these are things that I did not grasp immediately after watching it over and over again. After all, you can't ask readers to read it word for word, right? The reader's reading habits must be taken into consideration. ————Update after reading Chapter 2———— I touched the main line. The protagonist is a well-known recidivist, this time disguised as a waiter to steal the fruits of victory of the horse bandits. The structure is a bit strange - it just doesn't fit in with the customary structure of web articles. The first chapter tells the story of the murder directly without leaving any suspense. The second chapter introduces the background of the protagonist at the beginning... How can I put it, this structure is somewhat flawed in terms of appeal. Generally, online articles tend to break off the chapter at the point where "the protagonist is discovered by other horse bandits while committing the crime", leaving suspense and attracting readers to read on. There are also some loopholes in the logic: there is no reason why the horse bandit's trusted resting place should be casually infiltrated by the protagonist, a little person with no background... And wouldn't the horse bandit confirm the situation with the store first? Of course, I hope this is not a loophole, but a foreshadowing set by the author. But if this is caused by the protagonist's special ability, it is best to strengthen the "loophole" point - this will give the reader a message: the reason why the protagonist can create this loophole will be explained later, so the reader will not care much about this logical loophole. Currently, Goldfinger has some clues. It seems that he has some inheritance, is an old man, or simply runs fast? The amount of information in Chapter 2 is quite sufficient, even if it is a little obscure, it is easy to skip it. However, it is not critical information, so it can be skipped as a foreshadowing. Generally speaking, while fighting, I also took a side view of the world view, which is a good idea. Well, my writing skills are indeed good. My phone is out of battery, I will continue to test the poison at night...

Hello everyone, I am the author Jun, thank you all for your book reviews. It is not easy to write an indigenous protagonist, but I will work hard to write every chapter well and strive to make a "three nos" work that is not poisonous, not clichéd, and not trivial. Looking forward to everyone's support, I put my right hand on my chest and bowed.

The pace is too slow, and this kind of indigenous protagonist with low autonomy is not very appetizing. In fact, it doesn't matter whether it is indigenous, the most important thing is that the protagonist should be independent enough, have an opinion, a purpose, and expectations. The most annoying thing is to follow the flow of the story and unfold the plot, which is too unreliable for the readers, and the whole reading experience can be ruined when encountering a little bit of poison.

Because of the difference in outlook. It refers to the so-called love plot with Lin Xiaoman in the book. So gave up. In fact, this book has been on the bookshelf for a long time. I put it down when I saw the part about Old John's life and death battle. I took it out when I was cleaning the bookshelf in the past two days and found that it was a book I had read, so I continued to read it, but I could only see this part. In fact, I really want to watch it and see where the main player reaches in the end, but I really can't stand the dog-licking behavior with Lin Xiaoman. It feels very inconsistent with the overall plot and very blunt.

There must always be someone sitting on the sofa. Leave the advertising space to be rented out later.

After reading the introduction, I feel that the map is a bit large. . . It will collapse easily later on

Real fan +1 The book is very good, keep up the good work

In the first few chapters, the protagonist is portrayed as an old fool, but soon after he is almost tricked to death, are the reapers so worthless?

No, when did I add this book?

It turns out that it is also a system flow. After all, this system is artificial intelligence. It is much better than those inexplicable system flows. It is not unacceptable.

After reading the first few chapters, I have no desire to read further. The protagonist is smart and cunning in the front, which contrasts with the stupidity in the back. He has no self-awareness and even falls back after escaping. The author arranged for the character's IQ to suddenly drop, and I couldn't stand it anymore.

A young man with a strange identity, a master who is an extremely skilled master, and an extraordinary power in the steampunk world. The pig's foot profession is a mechanic with extraordinary power. His teammates now have a tank and a highly intelligent military. The country currently has a federation and an empire. I like your storytelling technique. I hope it is not a replica of "Jian Ke". The pig's feet will not become the prince of the empire, right?

The treasure chest breaks in! Vote out! Cast all eight recommendation votes! Come on＾0＾~

The front is a bit messy, and the world view is not well shaped (the basic shaping was not completed until Xixing City). The theme is not obvious, and the power system and the development direction of the protagonist are not mentioned before (it can easily give people a cliched feeling). But the starting point will never bury a novel that is only bad at the beginning. You must have problems later.

I have been collecting it for a long time, and I just read a little bit. If the author is a newbie, I think it has potential.

The writing is mediocre, the plot is uninteresting, and the setting is unattractive. All in all, after reading more than a dozen pictures, it feels like a pool of stagnant water without any ripples.

When I saw this, I thought it was a mystery 😅

I don't want to see system cheats sent to people outside the earth. Do people from other worlds understand?

It's been a year, is the author still in jail? Come out and write a book without sitting down

I once saw a true story about a man who had both legs amputated and was sitting in a wheelchair. He took advantage of women's sympathy and kindness and deceived many women into having relationships with him. I also saw something online today. A man without limbs actually had sex with more than 40 women, including a wife and children. Why are there so many women willing to have sexual relations with such a disabled person?

After reading a little bit, the setting is magic technology. Isn't it a little weird to come up with a system? The obvious Western fantasy in the early stage suddenly inserted the concept of system infinity. I personally think it is completely unnecessary. I have read Chapter 16 so far.

I voted for you monthly, keep going💪, although I haven't watched it yet

I feel like this novel, but I don't know why the results are not good.

It was fine for the first 10 years, but it became more and more awkward later on.