Extremely Cold

Invited by the author to comment: Advantages: The description of the little dragon beast is good, I strongly suspect that the author has raised Erha 23333 Disadvantages: This is more serious, and the book review area has talked about it more, please comment in detail: 1. Book title Since it is related to dragons, the title of the book should contain words related to dragons. Otherwise, those who like dragon literature will easily miss it, such as Extremely Frozen Dragon and Extremely Cold Wings. If that doesn't work, it would be better to write a super ice dragon that freezes the whole world than the current one! 2. There is too much useless information Reading online articles is actually like going to a restaurant to eat. The name of your store is a steamed bun shop. What is the result? I bought it and took a bite, but I didn't get the filling. The second bite I couldn't get the filling. I almost bit through the bun, but I still didn't get it. Is this a steamed bun or a bun? Or is it that I ate it too much and avoided the filling? Of course you can say that you are slow to get started, and you need some foreshadowing at the beginning, and the latter is absolutely balabala, but what you are writing now is not called foreshadowing. It's 50 chapters, basically without any effective content. I saw two dragons fighting at the beginning. Well, I thought it had something to do with the protagonist. It turned out that it was probably to explain why the protagonist was an abandoned nest dragon. Later, the protagonist finally appeared, and you gave me another past life retrospective... I am not interested in how he died. What I want to see is the dragon! How can you be a loser if you are not alone? There are people like this all around me, there is no need to look here! Then a bunch of plots about frost giants and human dukes appeared out of nowhere. Looking for the protagonist in it was like looking for sesame seeds with a magnifying glass. Nowadays, online articles require three golden chapters, or even one golden chapter. The protagonist should appear immediately at the beginning, which is to attract attention at the beginning. That is, the skin should be thin and the fillings should be thick. You should fork it off immediately after taking one bite. This article can attract some attention because it is a dragon article. Because dragon articles are too scarce, readers only take two more bites. But even if I took two more bites because of this, I still didn't eat anything. As a dragon novel, the stuffing of the buns is the protagonist, but your problem now is that you are putting the cart before the horse. There is too little protagonist content, and the buns have more skin than stuffing, so who will eat them? Of course I understand your thinking. The above are all foreshadowing, but the foreshadowing is not given separately to the readers. If these are all your foreshadowing, then this foreshadowing is a failure. Having said so much, combined with the practice of this article, if I were to write this book, without changing the outline, the second half of the fourth chapter would be changed to the first chapter. The protagonist would appear directly and break the shell, but he would be frozen immediately after breaking the shell. The protagonist was very strange, how could I, an ice dragon, be frozen? At this time, you can introduce the content about the ice dragon in the inherited memory. Just give it a brief introduction. Then the protagonist discovered that there were a lot of traces of dragon fighting nearby, leaving a lot of residual energy. He was frozen and accidentally touched a ball of residual energy. Then based on some nearby dragon scales that fell from the fight, he deduced that the two dragons were fighting. He suffered a disaster and the dragon mother was scared away. These residual dragon scales and energy can be used as foreshadowing or as the protagonist's trump card. Then the protagonist tries to find a way out of trouble. At this time, the first three chapters have almost passed. As soon as the protagonist goes out, he sees a male white dragon passing above his head. At this time, your foreshadowing in the previous ten chapters has almost been perfectly integrated. The next step can be a good way to add a character to the protagonist. When he sees the white dragon flying by, he immediately avoids it. Analysis The gap between the enemy and ourselves - rational personality; roaring at the white dragon - brainless, reckless personality (this is not recommended); pounce on and call daddy - funny type, if you can use a reasonable talk to convince the white dragon to treat you as his son and agree to provide you with shelter (there are also a small number of male dragons in the DND setting that will raise dragon cubs) The IQ of an adult white dragon is almost that of a normal person, and normal communication is normal) or at least provide some limited skill coaching. I dare say that your article can take off directly on the spot, just like the Frost Wing Mouth Cannon split the three bodies. The premise must be reasonable, otherwise it will become a poisonous point. In the later stage, if the protagonist discovers that the white dragon is really his father through blood traceability and other spells, he will be even more invincible. As for the follow-up plot of this cheap dragon dad, whether it is a loving father and a filial son (Alsatian version), or a true father and a filial son, or ignore it, and how to let the evil white dragon develop according to your wishes without making people feel unreasonable, it all depends on your writing skills. The subsequent battle between the two dragons can be viewed from the perspective of the protagonist watching the battle. If you have conquered Dragon Dad before, there will be a reasonable and unobtrusive narration. Watching the battle, the protagonist can set goals for himself, and the main plot will come out. Later, the protagonist's younger brother or the protagonist can discover human traces while hunting. After interacting with the baron's subordinates, the camera can be appropriately turned to the baron, so that the short-term goal can be achieved. Look, the content of the first fifty chapters has been condensed into ten chapters. This not only integrates your foreshadowing into the text, but also avoids a large useless introduction. If you really wrote it like this, I dare not say anything else. I will collect it and read it at least three times. Summary: Focus on the protagonist at the beginning to enhance the sense of immersion. Don't let the camera leave the protagonist for at least 30,000 words. Even if the plot needs to leave the protagonist later, it can't be more than one chapter. Don't pile up things that have nothing to do with the protagonist. Even if it is foreshadowing, the protagonist is at least a participant or bystander. Foreshadowing is seasoning and should be integrated into the text rather than taken out. A large section of foreshadowing is like the waiter bringing you a basin of salt as the main course when eating in a restaurant. I typed it on my mobile phone, it may be a bit messy, the author can refer to it. Wishing you a great fire🔥

The door opens after about 50 chapters. The front is full of water. You can read a few chapters at the beginning and then go straight to the back. It won't affect you at all. It's all water.

No one is reading it, so I will post a book review to comfort myself｡oﾟ(p´⌒`q)ﾟo｡

In ten minutes, the permission was blocked twice. I am the only one in the starting point 😅

Looking at my resume, my race is Ice Dragon. Is this picture okay?

Emmm..., After signing the contract, tell me and I will recommend it to you.

Can I get my money back?

It's not fun to watch. I've read more than 30 chapters so far.

The protagonist is on the right path, farming.

When writing new characters, I always waste a lot of time and it's hard to come up with names. So if you book friends want to appear in the book, you are welcome to leave your vest in this comment. I will choose the supporting vest according to the development of the plot. Requirement: Xifan name ps: I hope there is someone

Your introduction has lost most of its readers.

I entered my daily guide and asked if this is poison?

Come on, author😰

Passerby character - In fact, this dragon setting is the result of my 3 consecutive successes when I played DND - Airebati - Denas - Vera race - Silver dragon variant dragon age 150-200 camp - Lawful neutral - Bahamut light believer attribute - 3rd generation atavistic female silver dragon bloodline model Board. +3 Agility +6 Intelligence (each age level will +1 Agility and 2 Intelligence) Occupation - Level 6 Priest - Level 12 Space Mage Strength Level - Legendary Escape Ability - Unlimited Fighting to Survive (Justice Backstab) (Disability Mine. Level 10 Only priests can treat it) Background: A strong girl who grew up in a flower family. She died of a virus. After being reborn, she had a wonderful dragon family. Because the allozoic dragon acquired mild phagocytosis and moderate bulimia (actually enjoying the dream of a fat house dragon), her body shape is that of a fat house dragon with a big belly. Because of the reasons of the flower gardening family. The need for gluttony has been completely offset. Being a space mage, making space scrolls and inventing the Najie are very popular and are very rich among silver dragons. And they have a stronghold in the shallow layer of the earth element (digging and farming) You can refer to this picture for body shape

Sort of this introduction. . .

It's not that I'm nitpicking, nor that I want to criticize the author. The theme of this novel is dragons, but after reading more than 40 chapters, I didn't notice that it felt any better, and there were very few dragon scenes. Then out of nowhere, two big boss dragons appeared and fought each other, but they couldn't do anything to each other. They turned into icebergs on the spot. I thought, isn't this an old martial arts routine from Jin Yong? Obviously, in Western fantasy dragon novels, it is superfluous to introduce too many supporting characters. If you have the time, why not write more about the protagonist and the male supporting actor?

Keep it for now and wait until you have time to look at it (Actually, it's because I'm afraid... Gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle gurgle...)

To be honest, I didn't understand much about it. Two dragons fight, and then the protagonist learns magic there, and then humans appear, and the protagonist still doesn't know what he is doing there. And these key points of the plot have nothing to do with the protagonist. . .

Come on, the author supports you. If you have more words, you should be popular.

The strength of a dragon is based on its size. The protagonist won't always be smaller than Osaigu, right?