Sword Rises and Stars Fall

First, the sense of immersion is too poor, and the protagonist has a very poor sense of presence. You write with a sense of a storyteller. To take on the role of protagonist. Substitute thoughts. Change your position and take another look. Second. The description is too awkward and not full. From the looks of it, I don't know anything except that the main character is named Jing Haotian. But there are also advantages. The content of the chapter divisions does not look awkward. It wouldn't be too bad if the writing was smoother.

Novices improve their writing skills slowly, and it is impossible to achieve success in one step. There is no focus on the first chapter of the book, so you can change it. Don't be discouraged, come on＾0＾~! In addition, if you have time, I hope you can take a look at my work "The Last No. 2 Bus" and give me some suggestions. Thank you!

I hope someone will read it. I will write it well. Everyone is welcome to leave me a message and give me your opinions.

. . . . . . Hang in there, man

Very well written. Come on, no regrets.

Come on, I think the story behind it will be interesting.