Cloud Train

Short review After reading twelve chapters, the story is not bad, but the author's writing skills are really torturous. First, an unintroduced noun often appears in the book, and then is described in detail, requiring readers to guess the concept represented by the noun. For example, in the first chapter, Ms. Emma, ​​through the psychological activities of the protagonist, we can guess that she is the laundry manager, maybe the boss, but this increases the reader's dyslexia. Chapter 2, Deborah. In the following article, the two concepts of Miss Ticket Inspector and Deborah have been mixed up, which means that Deborah is Miss Ticket Inspector, but in one sentence, 'Miss Ticket Inspector, is also Deborah. . . . ', And it was natural to bring in Deborah. There is also the tower in Chapter 5, which I guess may be an astrological tower later on. However, it would be better to introduce the tower and the surrounding scenery at the beginning, and then gradually write about the people. There is no need for readers to carry so much burden to read further. The first few chapters are originally intended to introduce the world view. Second, generally speaking, when new concepts appear, they need to be introduced from old concepts. In novels, they are introduced from the protagonist. Therefore, if there is nothing related to the protagonist in the early stage, there is no need to introduce it. The writing is like spreading out from the protagonist little by little. There is no need to highlight a few points in the early stage. The introduction of the concept in this way is more abrupt, and if it does not appear for a long time, the ink and ink that was laid out in the early stage will be in vain. Finally, I wish the author a great success with his next book.

This book is really hard to read. I read it for 3 days and only got to 31 chapters. There are quite a few characters. Sometimes the perspective is cut. After reading several pages, I still don't know who is written in the perspective.

The memory of the characters did affect my interest in reading in the early stage... The tone of the first volume was a bit heavy, but the setting of the world made me decide to continue reading. Well, at least I haven't jumped out of the car yet? (It's not easy to find a book that's pleasing to the eye 2020.3.30 It may become a personal foraging record and a collection of complaints... 2020.5.24

Hanyue will update soon! How can I live without your novel?

Although it's a bit messy to read in one go, I'm really looking forward to the unfolding of the story. I feel like I haven't seen this type of Western fantasy novel for a long time. I hope the author can write better and better!

You can probably get an idea of ​​the level by comparing the word count and comments.

Even Western-style fantasy is not so messy. It is completely discouraged writing. Everyone writes from the first-person perspective, making it impossible for readers to connect the characters in each scene coherently. Maybe after reading more than a dozen chapters, I still have to go back and see what the relationship between this person and the protagonist is. No matter how good the setting is, it can only be defeated. As for the issue of writing style defended by the author, it is not accepted. There is something wrong with the architecture. Even the writing of old-style Western fantasy novels would not use such a short scene change method.

Breaking through 3 million words! [Celebrate][Celebrate][Celebrate] One step closer to the end! ! Keep up the good work! ! !

Treasure author! The writing style is so strong. Some authors want to write about young people, but they often write inexplicably. This book attracted me in the first chapter. If every chapter is like this, Platinum is definitely the starting point! ! ! Highly recommend this book!

Ultimate chaos, that is. Maybe I have been feeding the dog for ten years of reading. If I can't understand, it's 😅

At first glance, it seems okay. In fact, I can accept this kind of slow-paced online novel in the early stage. After all, there are not many good fantasy novels. But the names of the characters are really frustrating. I really can't remember them. Coupled with the style of language narration, I often have to go back and re-read it to understand it. (Strongly recommend the author to change it) The author's description is very sufficient, but this makes the early story progress too slow and dragging. I really like the part where Cecilia died, and I really like the protagonist getting back on her feet after experiencing pain and torture. Also, why does the performance of this book seem to be a bit sluggish now? Is it because no one has read it?

Perfect, I am an apprentice since I am not interested in Western fantasy novels at all. The main reason is that the author gave me a good feeling. Although not many people follow the book, the author still writes seriously. Recently I have lost contact with several of my favorite authors, Eunuch! Oh, it's a bit sad. I wish the author good luck in his postgraduate entrance examination!

The writing is good, but there is still room for improvement as a web novel. However, the story unfolds a little slowly, maybe because of the need to portray the characters' personalities. Come on, the author, and support all orders on the shelves.

The story is told well, but the narrator keeps changing names. In the same paragraph, a person appears three times but is referred to by his name, occupation, and identity. He does this very frequently, creating unnecessary divisions. Each character should have at least one main title. Occasionally specific titles can be used as embellishments, but they should be special.

Hey gentlemen, although reading the book gives me a headache, the author is interesting. If you pass by, come in and tease the author! (ಥ_ಥ)

After reading a few chapters, I can't stand it Here are some suggestions for the author Novel should not make readers tired. Although your narrative description is very good, too much description makes people feel dizzy when reading. It takes a long time to read the words to understand what is written The novel is not segmented well enough. It may be better to divide dozens of words into one paragraph You don't need to describe too much about costumes and jewelry. Maybe you want the characters to have distinct personalities, but for those messy costumes, at most one person in a thousand readers will know what the character is wearing You seem to be writing prose, and the language is not concise and simple enough Many irrelevant things are over-described Above

Come to my son 😊

I have some skills, but after a bunch of flamboyant writing and narration, there is another one who relies on the death of the heroine (tool person) to achieve success It's a bit uncomfortable

It was recommended and I just started watching it. To be honest, the text quality of this book is beyond my expectation. It must have been proofread several times before being published as a physical book. But to be honest, the full Western grammar seems a bit difficult. For me, there are too many characters appearing all at once in the first few chapters (especially the meeting part), and it's hard for Westerners to remember their names. After watching it for a long time, I was deeply impressed by the protagonist, the tavern maid, and the headless man. When I read other people's books, I found that a large number of descriptions of the appearance, clothing, and demeanor of the characters when they appear are helpful for readers to quickly establish the image of the characters in their minds. Reading is also a process of brainstorming. Close-ups can be used to create a strong sense of picture, making it easier for newcomers to have the desire to read. It's rare to see a physical book online, and it's worth pursuing! Come on, author(ง •̀_•́)ง

I've been raising it for a long time, and it's quite fat. I can finish reading the 4.6 Billion Plays of Kai Slaughter and Evolution. Although various people complained about this book in the comment section, I think I can do it too.

It was updated during the Chinese New Year. Mag is really working hard.

Come on, it's a pity that no one is watching it, but it is indeed a good story.

I haven't finished watching it, but I won't cheer for it.

I have already felt the future of my new book, almost at this level... QAQ

The biggest problem is that when listening to a book, I can't figure out which words are spoken and which words are in my heart.

Because the author is addicted to games and has not saved the manuscript, I will update it this week🈚️. The news of this station is reported by frontline reporters In order to apologize to the readers, I will give you a kowtow based on the author. ∪･ω･∪ ㊗️ Happy New Year to everyone!

With more than three million words, he is still a level 1 author 😭 Persistence

Suggestions to the author: It is best not to use names and occupations (races) when describing new characters or supporting characters. This will make people confused. You can first add occupation + name to let readers get familiar with it for a while, and then mix it up I hope the author can write better and better 👍

Can anyone tell me about the realm? It's hard to watch

When I first started watching it, I saw Cecilia's death. To be honest, I personally don't like time travel stories, but the author's writing style is really good and I have nothing to say. I can only say, come on.