The Vampire Count

Scene One:

“May I ask your surname, sir?” Ye Kong gazed at the man before her, thrilled beyond words. She couldn’t believe she’d found her target so quickly today!

Jiao Kun gripped Ye Kong’s little hand tightly, leering at her. “You’re too kind, miss. My surname is Jiao.”

“Jiao? What a meaningful name...” Ye Kong pulled her hand back, stroked her smooth chin, and said solemnly.

“Haha... You flatter me, miss! And what might your name be? What’s your home phone number? You can give me your QQ or MSN instead! We can get together whenever we have free time, have tea, chat, and discuss our dreams in life!”

Ye Kong looked at the man with utter contempt, crossed her arms over her chest, and spoke unhurriedly. “Sir, you’re middle-aged and balding, with tiny rat eyes, a bulbous, hooked nose, drooping brows, ears that stick out, thick lips, yellow teeth, a thin neck, uneven arms, mismatched hands, a pigeon chest, a dog’s belly, and a barrel waist. I suppose you’re the one who murdered Zhao Yan’s father!”

“Ye Jiangchen, you’d better tell me what this thing is!” Ye Kong grabbed both of Jiangchen’s ears and twisted them around and around without stopping.

“Ow, Xiaokong, let go! You’re always putting your hands all over me!”

“Then hurry up and tell me!” Ye Kong shot him a disdainful look and magnanimously released his ears.

Jiangchen rubbed his sore ears and, with a serious expression, poked the strange object on Ye Kong’s head. “Judging by appearances, those should be fox ears.”

“Then tell me why I have these too!” Ye Kong glared at herself angrily, opening her mouth to reveal two long, sharp fangs.

“Well, because I bit you... Ahem... because your mother has a zombie bloodline, you’re technically half a zombie too. All in all, you should be a zombie nine-tailed fox!”

“Oh? So am I what humans call a mixed-blood?” Ye Kong used telekinesis to hide her ears, then tilted her head and asked him curiously.

“More or less, maybe, possibly, perhaps, approximately...” After saying this, Jiangchen nodded emphatically, as if afraid Ye Kong wouldn’t believe him.

Dear customers, below are the latest terms of service for the Ye Family Loan Shop. Please memorize them. The shop accepts no responsibility for any accidents!

First: This shop primarily conducts business in exchange for money. As long as you pay, our masters Ye Kong and Jiangchen will help you with anything, including robbery, extortion, murder, and arson!

Second: We also accept payment in kind. In other words, if you don’t have money, that’s fine! Just leave any item you own as collateral at the shop, and I, Master Ye Kong, will still do the job for you. However, you must redeem it within one month by paying double the amount. Otherwise, it will not be returned!

Note: I reserve the right to accept or refuse any job. The person in charge of the Loan Shop, Ye Kong, has the final say on how these rules are interpreted. If you have any complaints or suggestions, turn around, walk fifty meters, then turn left and go another hundred meters. There’s a bus stop nearby. Please have your fare ready. Thank you for your cooperation!