The Bumpy Road to a Blind Date

Wan Yuji is twenty-nine, dashing and handsome, bright and perceptive, warm and outgoing, and works as an architect. Any designs he creates, whether for skyscrapers, villas, luxury homes, or amusement parks, are snapped up by construction bosses willing to spend a fortune. His father is the president of an airline, and his mother is a moderately well-known pianist.

Mi Chunlu is twenty-six, beautiful and captivating, with a unique charm and graceful figure. A policewoman and the bane of criminals, she has cracked countless difficult cases. Her colleagues nicknamed her “the daredevil.” Her father is a university professor, and her mother teaches English. She comes from a family of scholars.

“Honestly! Every holiday, when I set off on my ‘heroic’ journey home, I never expect to fall into one blind-date trap after another. The people setting them up are none other than my own parents…” one man sighed.

“Blind dates are like job interviews. Both sides sound each other out and negotiate. If they hit it off, things get intimate; if they don't, they leave disappointed…” Man Number Two offered his opinion.

“Blind dates are like ‘inspecting merchandise.’ You check the figure, looks, manners, conversation, education, income, and family background. If it passes inspection, you place the order; if not, you move on to the next shop…” Man Number Three chimed in.

“Humanity evolves and society changes. Blind dates are both old-fashioned and fresh, both rustic and modern. The methods change, the locations change, but what never changes is anxiety over time slipping away, the hope for a happy marriage, and parents' undying love for their children.” Man Number Four joined in.

…

“My parents said if I don't bring someone home this year, they'll disown me. Just thinking about it scares me,” Man Number Five said, slumped over the table, looking utterly helpless.

“So what? As long as you're related by blood, they can't disown you. My old lady gave me an ultimatum: if she doesn't get a grandchild to hold this year, she'll move abroad…”

“Move abroad? Where? Overseas or somewhere in the country?”

“I strongly recommend Singapore for your mother.”

“Hawaii.”

…

“Vietnam.”

“Is Vietnam even fit for human habitation? She should go to Canada.”

Everyone chimed in with their own grand suggestions.

“Thanks for all the helpful recommendations. If I had any yuan, I'd want my old lady to move abroad too. Unfortunately, I don't have enough money to go beyond our borders, and I've only got a month…”

“Home is best! China is the best! We're all Chinese, of course we should live on our own soil.”

“Old Lady says she's not going anywhere. She's picked a place, and she's leaving me behind to go with my dad.”

“Where's your dad?”

“He's been dead for over ten years.”

At that, everyone fell to the floor with a thud.