The Honest Woman Whose Heart Was Played With

Thirty years old, and she had nothing to show for it. She got by doing odd jobs here and there. There was no future in it. She knew she wasn’t anything special. She could keep her sexuality hidden and live a life where nobody paid her any attention. That was, until Lu Yang came along. The girl wore a pretty dress and smiled at her, eyes crinkling at the corners. Like a ball of fire, she charged straight into Laiyin’s drab, gray life. “Your eyelashes are so long, big sis.” “Your hands are so cold. Let me warm them up.” “I want to be with you forever.” How could Laiyin possibly resist those sweet words? They swelled her heart until it felt fit to burst. She was utterly swept off her feet. Before long, she carefully brought out that awkward heart of hers, the one she had never given to anyone, and offered it to Lu Yang. It wasn’t long before Lu Yang coaxed her into bed. The bed was tiny. Lu Yang wrapped her arms around Laiyin from behind, rested her chin in the hollow of Laiyin’s shoulder, and called her “big sis.” Her voice was soft, with a slight nasal lilt. Laiyin’s heart melted. Lu Yang leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth, ever so gently. Laiyin froze, not moving a muscle. Lu Yang kissed her again and murmured, “Don’t you like it, big sis?” Laiyin didn’t know how to answer. Her whole body was hot, as if she had a fever. Lu Yang smiled, took her hand and placed it on her waist, then lowered her head to kiss the side of her neck. Warm breaths fell against Laiyin’s skin, one after another. Laiyin trembled from the heat, but couldn’t bring herself to push her away. “Relax.” Lu Yang pressed close to her ear, her voice low and soft. “I’ll be good to you, big sis.” Laiyin clutched the hem of her clothes until her knuckles turned white. After a long while, she finally gave a quiet nod. She believed her girlfriend when she promised to treat her well. But in reality, her young girlfriend soon got bored of her. In a cold, condescending voice, she said: “You’re a wonderful person, but we’re not right for each other. Let’s not keep in touch.” And all those promises of forever? They were just pretty words Lu Yang had used to get Laiyin into bed. Only a fool like Laiyin would have taken them seriously. Oh, poor Laiyin. She trembled all over as she cried, tears falling in fat drops. * The big sis behind the convenience store checkout blushed whenever you teased her, and even stammered when she spoke. She was pretty fun to mess with. When Lu Yang found out she was thirty and had never even dated anyone, she thought it was hilarious. She decided to tease her. All it took was a beckoning finger, and that stupid woman came offering her whole heart. She believed everything Lu Yang said. What an idiot. Might as well have some fun with her. It should have ended quickly, but somehow their destined little fling dragged on for almost a year. Then Laiyin looked at Lu Yang with those heavy, earnest eyes and said, “You’re so good to me. I wish I could spend my whole life with you.” That scared Lu Yang so badly she ran for the hills. A whole lifetime? What a joke. There was no way she’d be with a poor woman so much older than her, who hadn’t even finished middle school. Lu Yang dumped her without a second thought. She was just a woman she’d gotten tired of. No big deal. But after turning over in bed, she couldn’t fall asleep no matter what. She dreamed that Laiyin was crying nonstop. She dreamed of those eyes, warm and tender, that had gazed at her for a whole year before she threw them away. Lu Yang pressed a pillow over her face and cursed under her breath. * Much later, she suddenly felt like checking how Laiyin was doing. The day she found Laiyin, it was the dead of winter, outside a little noodle shop. A tall, thin woman was bent over a table outside, wiping it down with her sleeves rolled high. Her hands were red from the cold. From a distance, Laiyin came out of the shop. She seemed prettier now, more graceful. Lu Yang was about to call out to her. Laiyin set a cup of hot milk tea beside the tall woman and said gently, “It’s cold today. Warm your hands.” Lu Yang could see Laiyin’s eyes clearly. They were the same eyes she used to look at her with. Now, they were looking at someone else. Lu Yang froze where she stood. She opened her mouth, but the name “Laiyin” caught in her throat. She couldn’t get it out. She stood behind a tree and watched for a long time. Then she turned and slunk away. Her mind was a mess on the way home, filled with Laiyin’s smile for that woman. She remembered how Laiyin used to wait for her outside the school gates, holding a cup of hot milk tea in winter. When she saw Lu Yang, she would smile, her eyes warm and tender. But Lu Yang had thought she was clingy and the milk tea too sweet. She had never once thought Laiyin was worth cherishing. Now that cup of milk tea sat beside someone else, and those eyes were looking at someone else, too. At least now Lu Yang wouldn’t have to worry about Laiyin chasing after her anymore. Lu Yang walked on, then stopped again. The wind blew down her collar, and she hunched her shoulders. For the first time, she understood what it meant to be chilled to the bone. Ciba is a delicacy made through countless rounds of pounding, and the old-fashioned, plain kind has a flavor all its own. Lu Yang is a virgin, so don’t worry. A little promo for my upcoming novel: Sleepless Night Ji Nuo’s wife had been gone from home for a long time. Still, she sent her messages every day. “Miss you. Coming home tonight?” “I bought a style you’ll like. Picture, picture. Coming home tonight?” “I’ve run a bath. I miss you so much…” No reply. She could only soothe her burning body by herself. Later, a woman moved into the apartment next door. Tall, pale, with downcast lashes that gave her a cool, distant air. She was the spitting image of Ji Nuo’s wife, who never came home. Ji Nuo stared at that face, her breathing growing heavier. Late at night, she lay on her back in bed, burning with desire. The doorbell rang abruptly. Her neighbor stood outside, her usually cool face flushed bright red, a bag of snacks in her arms. “...F-for you.” Before Ji Nuo could say a word, the other woman had already fled. There was a little note tucked inside the bag of snacks. “Sorry to bother you. Also, please keep the noise down. Thank you.” * Later, another woman moved in next door. The neighbor said she was her girlfriend. Ji Nuo couldn’t stand seeing her neighbor with that face so like her wife dating someone else. She knocked on the neighbor’s door, clung to her, and gazed at that familiar yet unfamiliar face with tearful eyes. “Do you want to…?” The neighbor pushed her away. “Don’t do this. I have a girlfriend.” Sometimes the neighbor was away, leaving only her girlfriend at home. The neighbor’s girlfriend cursed at her in annoyance. “You shameless homewrecker. Stay away from my girlfriend.” Ji Nuo was heartbroken, but whenever she saw her neighbor’s face, so like her wife’s, she ran over again. She looked at the neighbor’s girlfriend, who had just insulted her, and tearfully apologized. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to find a friend to talk to. I’m not trying to steal her from you.” The girlfriend eyed her suspiciously, but didn’t say anything. So Ji Nuo went over every day. One day, while the neighbor was away on a business trip, Ji Nuo got drunk and knocked on the apartment next door. Wearing a nightgown and sobbing, she said, “I don’t have any friends. I’m so lonely. Could you keep me company?” The girlfriend hesitated, then let her in. After a few drinks, they ended up in bed together. Ji Nuo immediately turned on her, took photos, and threatened to show them to the neighbor unless the girlfriend left her. The girlfriend had developed real feelings for Ji Nuo and was furious. She had been about to break up with the neighbor, but after this, she refused to break up no matter what. Ji Nuo cried, her tears landing in fat drops on the other woman’s chest. “Please, let me have her, okay? I miss my wife so much. I can’t live without her.” She really missed her wife. Every night, she missed her so much. But her wife never came home. She was so lonely. A: The neighbor who pretends to be aloof B: The aloof neighbor’s girlfriend C: The wife who’s off God knows where D: The glory isn’t one person’s alone, it’s shared by all four! Theme: Learning to live well.