The Honest Woman Whose Heart Was Played With

At thirty, she had achieved nothing.

She got by doing odd jobs here and there. There was no real future in it.

She knew she wasn't anything special. She could keep her sexuality hidden and live an unnoticed life. That was fine.

Until Lu Yang came along.

The girl wore a pretty dress and smiled at her, eyes crinkling at the corners. Like a ball of fire, she charged straight into Lai Yin's gray, dreary life.

"You have such long eyelashes, big sis."

"Your hands are so cold. Let me warm them up."

"I want to be with you forever, big sis."

How could honest Lai Yin resist such sweet talk? She was so thoroughly charmed that her head spun.

Before long, she carefully brought out that clumsy heart of hers, the one she'd never given to anyone, and offered it to Lu Yang.

It wasn't long before Lu Yang had coaxed her into bed.

The bed was tiny. Lu Yang wrapped her arms around Lai Yin from behind, rested her chin in the hollow of her shoulder, called her big sis, and leaned in to kiss the corner of her mouth.

Lai Yin froze.

Lu Yang kissed her again and murmured, "You don't like it, big sis?"

Lai Yin didn't know what to say. Her body was burning up.

Lu Yang smiled, took her hand and placed it on her own waist, then bent her head to kiss the side of Lai Yin's neck. Her warm breath fell against her skin, again and again.

"Relax. I'll treat you well, big sis."

"...Mm."

Lai Yin believed Lu Yang when she said she'd treat her well. The reality, though, was that Lu Yang soon got bored of her.

In a cold, condescending tone, she said:

"You're a good person, but we're not right for each other. Let's not keep in touch."

And the forever she'd promised before?

Just pretty words to coax Lai Yin into bed. Only a fool like Lai Yin would take them seriously.

Ah, poor Lai Yin.

Shaking all over as she cried, tears plopping down one after another.

*

The big sis behind the convenience store counter blushed at the slightest tease, and even stuttered when she spoke.

So much fun.

When Lu Yang found out she was thirty and had never even dated anyone, she thought it was hilarious.

She got the urge to tease her.

All it took was a crook of her finger, and that stupid woman brought her whole heart over.

She believed everything Lu Yang said. So stupid.

Might as well have some fun with her.

It was supposed to be over quickly, but who would have thought that this doomed little fling would last almost a year?

It wasn't until Lai Yin looked at her with those heavy eyes and said, "You're so wonderful. I wish I could spend my whole life with you," that Lu Yang got so scared she hurriedly ran away.

A whole life? What a joke.

There was no way she'd be with a poor woman so much older than her, who hadn't even finished middle school.

She dumped the woman, clean and quick.

Just a woman she'd gotten tired of. No big deal.

But she turned over in bed and couldn't fall asleep, no matter what.

She dreamed of those eyes that had gazed at her for a whole year. Why were they so full of tears?

Was Lai Yin crying?

*

A long time later, she suddenly felt like checking up on how Lai Yin was doing.

The day she found Lai Yin, it was the dead of winter, outside a noodle shop.

Outside the shop, a tall, thin woman was bent over wiping down a table. Her sleeves were rolled high, and the backs of her hands were red from the cold.

From a distance, Lu Yang saw Lai Yin come out. She seemed prettier now, with a more mature charm.

Lu Yang was about to call out to her.

Then she saw Lai Yin set a cup of hot milk tea beside the tall, thin woman and say gently, "It's cold today. Warm your hands."

Lu Yang could see Lai Yin's expression clearly. It was the same look she'd once given Lu Yang. Now she was looking at someone else.

Lu Yang stood frozen.

She opened her mouth, but the name "Lai Yin" caught in her throat. She couldn't get it out.

She stood behind a tree and watched for a long time.

Then she turned and walked away, crestfallen.

Her thoughts were a mess the whole way, filled with Lai Yin's smile for that woman.

She remembered Lai Yin waiting for her outside the school gates, holding a cup of hot milk tea in winter and smiling the moment she saw her.

But Lu Yang had never thought it was something she needed to cherish.

Now that cup of milk tea was beside someone else, and those eyes were looking at someone else, too.

At least now she wouldn't have to worry about Lai Yin clinging to her anymore.

As Lu Yang walked, she stopped again.

The wind rushed down her collar, and she hunched her shoulders.

For the first time, she understood what it meant to be chilled to the bone.

Ciba is a delicacy made through countless rounds of pounding, and the honest, plain kind has a flavor all its own.

Pushing out birth number two: Played with by an Honest Woman

"Sincerely looking for a same-sex partner to spend my life with."

Chen Ayu had never met a lesbian and had no idea where to find one, so she paid to place a personal ad in a magazine, seeking a girlfriend.

Her inbox filled up with letters.

Most were from people stirring up trouble and sending nonsense, mixed in with a few abusive ones.

Only one stood out.

The words were earnest and sincere. There was nothing inappropriate in it. The writer simply said she wanted to get to know her.

Chen Ayu had never met a lesbian and didn't know how to talk to one, so she didn't write back right away.

She waited and watched.

Even though she never replied, the other woman wrote to her almost every day.

Through those letters, Chen Ayu could almost picture the person on the other end: "honest and reliable." Gradually, she fell for the person writing to her.

An orphan, thirty years old, with no one to rely on. She longed desperately for a family.

Finally, she worked up the courage to invite the other woman to meet. "I think you might be just my type... If you can, please come to the address in my letter... Sorry to bother you."

The other woman replied.

She made herself look presentable, then went to meet her, heart pounding.

But she waited until nightfall, and the person she was waiting for never came. Maybe she had come, seen Chen Ayu, and walked away disappointed...

Dejected, she went home and carried on with her life.

Maybe she'd really never have a relationship in this lifetime. Maybe she'd truly be alone until the end.

Just as she was thinking that, a pretty girl barged into her impoverished life.

"Big sis, you're so wonderful. How have you never dated anyone?"

"Why do you always say you're no good? You look so cute. I really like you."

"If you're afraid of being alone, why not say yes to me? I mean... of course I mean for life."

Chen Ayu had never been in a relationship before, and the girl's sweet talk soon left her dizzy. She gave her everything and swore she'd treat her well for the rest of her life.

They spent a blissful summer together. It felt just like a dream.

When the summer ended and the girl was going back to school, Chen Ayu said, "I'll see you off."

"No need," the girl said with a smile.

The girl's smile and her recent attitude made Chen Ayu sense something was wrong, but she didn't dare ask.

When she messaged the girl again later, she discovered she'd been blocked...

She worked up the courage to go to the university the girl attended.

By luck, she spotted the girl coming out cheerfully with her roommate to buy something.

The girl was still as beautiful as ever, surrounded by people just as young and glamorous as she was.

Chen Ayu looked at the stone sign bearing the university's name. They belonged to completely different worlds.

She went home dejected, cried her heart out, and accepted reality.

Half a month later, a woman pursued her.

Longing for the security of a stable family, Chen Ayu quickly agreed to be with her.

*

She saw a personal ad in a magazine: "Sincerely looking for a same-sex partner to spend my life with."

The magazine was passed around among her classmates, who mocked it without restraint.

"Oh my god, someone still does something this old-fashioned? Looking for love in a magazine!"

"Hey, let's send her a message and see if she'll reply."

"You do it yourself. What if she gets attached?"

"What are you afraid of? It's not like she can crawl over the signal to get to you. It's online, so we can mess around all we want."

A group of them jokingly sent the woman messages.

They deceived and ridiculed her...

Betting on who would get a reply.

Bored, Lu Tian joined in on the cruel prank.

Using the email address in the magazine, she wrote a love letter, made up a story about already having a job, invented an impressive persona, and sent it off.

She waited a long time, but there was no reply.

High school was stressful, and she was bored anyway. She decided to use the inbox as a way to pass the time, often sending fake messages, the sort of things someone with that made-up persona would say.

She'd started to think nobody even checked the inbox, when one day she got a reply.

"I think you might be just my type... If you can, please come to the address in my letter... Sorry to bother you."

The warmth, affection, and shyness in the letter seemed to shine right through the words.

Amused, she forwarded the letter to the group and mocked her:

"A lesbian replied to me."

"That's such a gross love letter. Keep chatting and see what else this lesbian says."

At her classmates' eager urging, she took things to the next step.

She wanted to see what a real-life lesbian looked like, and she also wanted to take the joke further, so she went to the meeting.

Hiding in the crowd, she saw what the woman looked like and was deeply disappointed. She was nothing like the glamorous lesbian she'd imagined from their online messages.

Her face was pretty, but she came across as dull and awkward.

She looked completely dazed.

There was no challenge in teasing someone like that.

She left, entirely uninterested, and stayed out late having fun. Then she thought of that woman again.

As if possessed, she circled back. The woman was still waiting.

...Could anyone really be that stupid?

Surprised that someone like that could still exist in this day and age, she found out where the woman worked through her email address.

She watched her, and watched her, and then started dating her.

The woman's life was so impoverished that a little sweet talk was enough to win her over. Lu Tian barely had to try.

"Lu Tian, you're really dating a woman? Oh my god, lesbians and all that... Doesn't it gross you out?"

"It's just for fun. It's not like I'm serious. Dating a woman... Even sleeping with her wouldn't be a big deal, right?"

It was only a diversion, after all.

She toyed with the woman's body and feelings, amused to watch her do so much for her. Then she told her classmates just how ridiculous the woman was.

"Look at her. She's so stupid."

When the university term began, the brief diversion came to an end.

"I'm leaving." She discarded the woman without a second thought.

But afterward, something felt wrong no matter what she did. She felt empty.

Trying to get rid of her strange feelings, she went back to the woman, only to find that the woman who'd said she loved her was already with someone else.

It had only been half a month...

The person Lu Tian had treated as a diversion had treated her as one, too...

Chen Ayu, with all your talk of love, you're disgusting.

"Those who treat another person's sincere love as a diversion will themselves become one."

Flavor: The love interest is so starved for affection that she'll fall for anyone who treats her well. Seeking a way out, urgently!

Theme: Live well