So My Boyfriend Really Isn't Human

Late at night, my boyfriend got up and stood by the balcony.

He demanded, "Do you love me or not?!"

I hesitated for one second. Just one second, and he really jumped.

Smack!

He splattered into a meat pancake.

My breath caught. To calm myself down, I pulled a snow cake out of my pocket and started munching.

Then my boyfriend, now a red, mushy mess, actually started talking. He said:

"I'm done pretending. I quit!"

Theme: I love you just as you are