I Picked Up a Bony Immortal Venerable, Poked Him Around, Then Tossed Him

[New readers, beware: undergoing a rewrite before publication] The blurb's premise and the couple's dynamic remain the same, but the plot's entry point and storyline have been revised. The main change is cutting worldbuilding I couldn't handle that was pushing the romance off course. Revised chapters will be replaced and marked. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Xie Chenyuan x Chi Lang: World-weary Immortal Venerable top, skeleton-loving bottom

Chi Lang had three great hobbies: staying alive, stockpiling supplies, and rolling beads around in his hands.

After transmigrating into a ghost fire in the ruins of an ancient battlefield, he suddenly got to indulge in all three. The little ghost fire Chi Lang was overjoyed. Every day, he rummaged tirelessly through the trash and decorated his little nest with all the shiny treasures he found.

Until he came across the skeleton of his dreams.

"Wow!" Chi Lang's eyes went wide. He threw away everything he was holding, flung himself onto the glossy, translucent bones, and hugged them tight. "So beautiful!"

The bones hummed, "Get lost!"

Chi Lang: "???"

The bones were gorgeous. Their only flaw was the annoying, half-dead voice inside them. Chi Lang didn't care. He carried them home, dressed them up and polished them. The more he handled them, the shinier they got.

The bones were listless. They didn't care where they were and had no interest in talking to him.

Chi Lang kept testing the waters every day. Hey, when are you going to disappear, lingering soul?

Just as he waited and waited, the bones suddenly vanished! Heartbroken, Chi Lang packed up the junk he'd collected, slung on his bundle, and left his nest to search all over the cultivation world.

...And ended up finding a very powerful Immortal Venerable.

The Immortal Venerable stood tall and straight, looking down at him with aloof pride. Chi Lang: "..."

Oh no! His bones had grown flesh! They weren't pretty at all anymore!

-

Xie Chenyuan had forgotten many things. All he remembered was how much he hated everything in this world.

Until a lively voice exploded into the silence. "Wow! So beautiful!"

A little ghost fire who was enamored with his looks.

The ghost fire was so annoying, constantly fawning over him and pawing at him every day, all while chattering away.

If Xie Chenyuan hadn't been too lazy to lift a hand, the wind from the motion could have blown him out.

"So beautiful!" The little ghost fire praised him again, his flames glowing as his eyes sparkled.

That was beautiful? When Xie Chenyuan was alive, his looks had been recognized throughout the Three Realms as the height of beauty.

Xie Chenyuan thought lazily, Hah. How little he knows!

One day, I'll make him... Honey, why did you run away the moment you saw me?!!!

Upcoming Novel

The Secondhand Group Sent Me the Wrong Husband, So I Ran Off Pregnant

Straight-talking, overthinking top who falls in love × sweet, slow-to-catch-on bottom

As an art student, Lin Yan's world came crashing down when he was assigned a programming boot camp co-taught with the School of Information Science. A professor coldly rejected his request to drop the class. Meanwhile, his roommate, who was moving out, flopped onto the sofa with his phone and suddenly let out a pig-like squeal of laughter.

"They say international students' secondhand groups sell everything. But who knew someone would put up a live-in tutor for sale!"

Lin Yan: o.O?

A rich kid had hired a live-in tutor with a high salary and room and board. Now he was returning home to inherit the family business, so he put the tutor up for sale in the secondhand group.

Xie Guanshang...?

At the name, Lin Yan pictured his cool, gentle demeanor and pressed his lips together. Wasn't this a little humiliating?

He... happened to need tutoring, and his roommate's place was about to be free. Thinking of Xie Guanshang's effortless top-student confidence in class, Lin Yan gritted his teeth. He'd take him!

As expected, Xie Guanshang was great at tutoring, and he could handle housework with ease. A little too much ease, actually.

Lin Yan worked three part-time jobs and ran into Xie Guanshang at all three.

Even so, whenever he came home, a neatly plated meal would be waiting for him, and the whole apartment would be immaculate.

Lin Yan blinked, nervously clenching his fist. "...I must be paying him way too little."

He tried to express his concern tactfully. Xie Guanshang thought it over, and the dishes on the table became even more varied.

He handed over a bank card outright. Xie Guanshang looked touched and gave him two cards in return.

All he could do was summon the courage to tell Xie Guanshang plainly that their relationship might not be very healthy.

Xie Guanshang... Xie Guanshang kissed him gently. "You're right. You really have thought this through, Xiaoyan."

Lin Yan was pulled down onto the bed, his face flushing. Only then did he belatedly curl his toes. This... this isn't right, is it?!!!

A year later, Lin Yan hid aboard a plane home. His loose clothes concealed his slightly rounded belly, and his face turned pale as he read the secondhand group's chat history.

Xie Guanshan, not Xie Guanshang.

He'd taken the wrong person!

.

Xie Guanshang was aloof and kept to himself.

That is, until a sweet, pretty little apricot stopped him to confess.

The young man stood before him, stammering shyly, his round apricot eyes big and bright, his lips moving.

"...I don't have much money, but you can move in with me."

Just hearing the important part made Xie Guanshang's ears ring and his heart race.

Their life together was sweet, but his wife worked so hard to take care of him and kept worrying that they wouldn't have enough money. He could only work twice as hard to earn more.

Then, just as everything was settling into place and their relationship was stable, Xie Guanshang began planning to propose.

But when he returned from an academic conference, the place was empty. His wife had run away.

Upcoming Novel

Following You Doesn't Mean I Like You

Pure-hearted, self-deluding CEO top × shameless bottom who makes things up as he goes

Bow and Arrow Tactics is a multiplayer online maze brawler, an .io game. All you have to do is dodge like a snake, pick up the experience stones on the ground, and keep leveling up until you crush everyone and carry the team. Sounds simple, right?

When Lin Chi's nephew was killed over and over by the game bully Fang Yi until he cried, and asked Lin Chi to avenge him, that's what Lin Chi thought.

Then he entered the room and got killed over and over, carrying the whole team to victory.

Lin Chi: ...

To impress his nephew and redeem the shame of spending all night repeatedly getting killed, Lin Chi finally...

Found a bug.

It turned out he could dodge like a snake, avoid every experience stone, never attack, and stay at level zero to enjoy the beginner's invincibility buff with no effort.

Lin Chi, a laid-back student taking the recommendation route to graduate school: ...He had a wonderfully awful idea.

A few days later, whenever Fang Yi saw Lin Chi, he'd rage helplessly, shut down, and instantly leave. Lin Chi casually returned the account to his nephew, looking like a master who had hidden his skill from the world.

That was until his nephew said Fang Yi was back.

.

To research the casual games market, Li Chengyu took over an account belonging to a top player.

In his very first game, a clueless blank account followed him around. It didn't even know how to pick up experience stones, but it followed him everywhere.

He moved, and the blank account moved.

He stopped, and the blank account stopped.

He opened a chest, leaving experience stones all over the ground, and the blank account circled around them twice: ovo

Li Chengyu: ?

Li Chengyu was baffled after being followed all night, until he happened to spot a familiar account on the phone of a new intern.

On the phone was an ovo face. In real life, he had alluring, sparkling peach-blossom eyes.

The beautiful intern looked up at him with complete sincerity. "Mr. Li, I've admired you for a long time!"

Li Chengyu's heart pounded, and he forced down a smile.

That night, when the blank account came straight for him in the game, he held back and played the wilds all the way through.

.

Much later, Li Chengyu decided it was time for them to meet in real life and sent a flurry of messages.

The other side replied instantly: Who are you? I'm an elementary school student [calling the police]

Li Chengyu: ???

Theme: See beyond appearances to the truth