A Livestream Opens on History's Most Beautiful Love Story

Lin Li is a nobody of a creator on Bilibili, and she loves posting history-themed videos. Unfortunately, her view counts are painfully low.

Then one day, a high-dimensional System captured one of her rant videos and broadcast it simultaneously across different historical eras.

Lin Li: "Bai Juyi wrote about the beautiful romance between Emperor Xuanzong of Tang and Yang Yuhuan in The Song of Everlasting Sorrow. Come on, what kind of romance could there be between an old geezer in his fifties and a pretty young girl of just eighteen? Not to mention that Yang Yuhuan was his daughter-in-law to begin with!"

The people beneath the sky screen: O-old geezer?

Li Longji: Insolence!

Li Shimin: ...Daughter-in-law?!

Lin Li: "Today we're talking about a famous lovesick romantic in history, Emperor Shunzhi of the Qing Dynasty. First, let's take a look at the video."

The viewers beneath the sky screen: The Secret History of Xiaozhuang? Who's Xiaozhuang?

Countless women: Sob, Emperor Shunzhi really was so devoted!

Lin Li: "But the story in this clip is completely made up. The historical Emperor Shunzhi wasn't in love with Dong'e. He was a womanizer with countless consorts in his harem. Since Dong'e's family wasn't noble enough, he especially liked to manipulate and torment her. As a result, that beautiful young woman died at just twenty-one. Ha. Men."

Shunzhi: ...

The women beneath the sky screen: Ha. Men.

Lin Li: "Everyone's familiar with the story of the golden house built to hide a beloved. When it comes to Emperor Wu of Han, we have to mention three women: Chen Ajiao, Wei Zifu, and Lady Li. That's right, other emperors could at least be called one-to-one, but our Piggy went his own way and had three at once. What a massive jerk!"

Liu Bang: They're just women. An emperor can have as many as he wants.

Liu Che, who had already guessed who Emperor Wu of Han was: ...

I'm not a pig!

Beneath the sky screen, every kind of person reacts in their own way.

Some are mortified, some check their reflections, and some are simply here to enjoy the show. And, of course, there are also a few oddballs with rather unusual interests...

Bai Juyi: Sigh, should I write The Song of Everlasting Sorrow or not?

Qin Shi Huang: ...I really don't know any woman named A Fang.

Emperor Taizong of Tang: Could you explain the An Lushan Rebellion in more detail?

Emperor Wu of Han: I'm not a massive jerk!

Emperor Taizu of Ming: What do you mean, "a good shoot from a bad bamboo"? Which of my worthless descendants was the emperor who was captured at the gates?

Before You Read

1. I'm not a history major, so I can't guarantee complete accuracy.

2. This is a humorous, irreverent story, not a serious work of historical fiction.

3. Everyone has their own tastes. Friendly discussion is welcome, but personal attacks are not.

4. More may be added later.

Theme: Another possibility for history