You're a video game NPC, and you think you have a wonderful life.
You have a husband who loves you. After years of dating, you got married, and he cherishes you.
You also have a steady stream of suitors. You suspect they're players in the game, and you're one of their quest checkpoints. Every now and then, they come to flirt with you and ask you out on dates.
Their sweet talk is lovely, and the dates are fun. You just have to make sure your husband doesn't find out.
Life goes on, peaceful and warm.
Until one day, a battered man bursts out of your basement. He looks like he's been through hell. When he sees you, his eyes light up, and he runs over, grabs you, and says he'll take you away with him.
You recognize him as the man who came to talk to you a lot over the past few days. The apple pie he gave you was delicious.
He rambles on, telling you all sorts of things. He says it's all just a game, and you're an NPC in it. You tell him you know, and that you like this romance game.
He stops and stares at you in shock. "You thought this was a romance game?"
He tells you someone's name and asks if you know why that person disappeared.
You remember the man. Last week, he rode his motorcycle over to ask you out every day, his hair dyed blue.
A breeze suddenly blows in from the balcony. The flowers your husband planted for you sway in the wind. You watch them for a while, then look back at the man and say, a little confused, "Didn't he quit the game?"
He covers his face with both hands and sighs, looking utterly discouraged. "N-no, that's not what happened."
At that moment, you hear a noise at the door: your husband slowly unlocking the three locks from the outside. The man looks at you desperately, trying to explain that this isn't a romance game and your husband is a pervert.
The door opens. Your husband is wearing a shirt and slacks, carrying a bag of your favorite fruit. He glances at the man, sets the bag down calmly, and slowly rolls up his sleeves.
You look at him and smile. You say that's not true.
"He just loves me too much."
*
"Blackleaf Town" is a brand-new open-world adventure RPG with exceptional freedom and engaging NPC interactions. It quickly took the world by storm after its release. Seventeen days after the official launch, players discovered a secret level.
The developers announced that the secret level included an ultimate boss. To balance the difficulty, they had also created a friendly clue-giving NPC.
Players soon found this friendly NPC. She was the boss's wife, beautiful and kind, and watched over so closely by the boss that she seemed like a golden-haired princess locked away in a tower.
They tried every way they could to approach and win her over. Her affection wasn't hard to raise, but even as it climbed higher and higher, they always failed at the last moment.
Because this NPC was so wonderful, some players even forgot she was just part of a game and tried to take her away. Every one of those players, without a doubt, died in the game.
On July 18, the developers announced a fix for the secret level.
Players on the game forum discussed it at length: They should've fixed it sooner. The boss was way too hard to kill, and his wife was such a hopeless romantic. You could tell her her husband was a pervert, and she still wouldn't believe you!
+1
+1
+1
Everything about my wife is great, but it's a shame she's a hopeless romantic! +1
The developers, sneaking a look at these comments while trying to fix an unkillable bug, were confused, baffled, and utterly shocked:
...Wait, which one did you think was the boss???!!!
Theme: Love yourself before loving others
