A practice piece, posted out of order.
Carefree, slick-talking, flirty but irresponsible bottom Xia Zhinian x reserved, old-fashioned, fatherly, possessive, gloomy skeleton top Tingshan
Plot summary:
Xia Zhinian is the eighteenth-generation spirit binder of Zhenshan and works for the 818 Paranormal Investigation Bureau. While investigating a case target called "Skeleton Town," he has an accident and loses his memory, so he is sent back to his hometown in the countryside to recover.
His hometown is in the mountains. When the neighbors hear he's back and has lost his memory, they bring him all sorts of things, including, but not limited to:
A stone from the Eastern Zhou period that's great for striking a spark, lychee pits from the late Tang dynasty said to grow unbelievably sweet lychees, and Qing-dynasty exam essays that are great for putting you to sleep...
Xia Zhinian can't refuse, so he accepts the gifts and often helps out around the neighbors' homes in return. With his silver tongue and quick wit, he soon becomes the town's favorite and settles in like a fish in water.
To recover his memory, he has no choice but to start with "Skeleton Town." But Xia Zhinian searches through every record and can't find a single mention of it, so he can only take odd jobs to earn money.
When he tries to catch a gluttonous vengeful ghost, it escapes. Old Li, who happens to be passing by at the head of the village, gives the ghost a solid whack on the forehead, and it immediately drops to the ground.
When he tries to catch a fox spirit, it bewilders him, and he's nearly trapped in an illusion forever. Hunter Uncle Wang strolls into the illusion and lifts the fox by its tail, remarking that it's a fine tail.
Even the big yellow dog he keeps likes to crunch a few little ghosts for a snack.
Xia Zhinian senses that something is very wrong, but his neighbor invites him to dinner, saying they're having roast chicken.
Xia Zhinian: "I'm not going..."
Auntie Huang: "Your uncle also slaughtered a sheep."
Foodie Xia Zhinian: "I'm coming."
At dinner, he has a few too many glasses of the fruit wine they made at home. Through the haze, he thinks he sees Auntie Huang remove one of her own leg bones to roast the mutton.
Xia Zhinian closes his eyes. He really has had too much to drink.
Relationship summary:
On his first day back home, Xia Zhinian sees a little skeleton in a graveyard. The little thing is sitting on a grave and calls him Uncle.
Xia Zhinian can't resist being cheeky and tells it to call him Dad.
To his surprise, the little skeleton obediently does so, then clings to him and grabs his trouser leg as they head home.
That night, a big skeleton shows up.
The big skeleton sits in a chair, its long, straight leg bones stretched out in front of it. "This is my son."
Xia Zhinian looks at the two, who look remarkably alike. "Even a blind person could tell."
The big skeleton nods with satisfaction. "You're my wife."
Xia Zhinian: "If you're lonely, I can go to the graveyard and piece someone together for you."
To pry information about Skeleton Town out of the two skeletons, Xia Zhinian ends up living with a whole family in tow.
When he fights, the little skeleton sits nearby playing with its own skull, polishing it until it shines.
When he runs for his life, the big skeleton asks if he wants stewed chicken tonight.
Xia Zhinian turns around, pulls out one of his ribs, and hurls it behind him, shouting in despair, "Stew you!!!"
That night, Xia Zhinian makes it home by the skin of his teeth and sees a certain skeleton sitting in a pot while the little skeleton throws spices in at its direction.
Holding a rib, Xia Zhinian expressionlessly shuts the door. The big skeleton inside says very politely, "Could you put the rib in here? Ribs are nutritious. I think you'd enjoy the broth."
Xia Zhinian grits his teeth. He can't go on living like this.
Reader's guide:
1. This is a practice piece set in a fictional world. Don't overthink the details. I bow in advance.
2. The top becomes a person later on. He won't stay a skeleton forever.
3. The child isn't biologically theirs, but is loved as if they were.
4. Neither character is perfect; they each have flaws. The author takes neither side.
5. Half bittersweet, half sweet. Half bittersweet, half sweet. Half bittersweet, half sweet. (Important things bear repeating three times.)
6. Hope you enjoy reading. If you don't, you can give the author a couple of slaps.
Theme: Forgetting is a second death.
