In fact, when I first read this article, I was attracted by the number of words in the article, because I like to read short stories and I can use fragmented time to read them. But when I actually finished reading this inner monologue called "Alien", I felt a lot.
I feel that it is less like a carefully polished literary work and more like a stream-of-consciousness movie projected directly on the curtain of the soul. It is full of contradictory images, self-refuting logic, and cries of fragmentation and reorganization. What moved me most about it was not the "alien" tragedy, but the amazing transformation that this soul completed from self-denial to cosmic acceptance in the fire of self-torture.
I think this article is actually trying to find a philosophical basis for the identity of "alien" from a macroscopic perspective that is close to the scale of the universe - in the vast space and time, individuals are as insignificant as dust.
But this is just a prelude. The real drama lies in the precise structure discovered when digging inward: "Layer upon layer, there is a layer of shell inside", and within the shell is a "heart".
I think this may be the most subtle metaphor in the entire article.
We usually think that there is a soft and injured "heart" first, and then a hard "shell" has to grow to protect it.
However, this short and concise article reveals a more cruel truth: "I can become an alien not because I have this shell, but because I discovered that I am an alien."
Only then did I understand that I first had the self-awareness of being "alien" before I built this fortress for defense. And the "heart" that was regarded as the authentic one actually became "like a shell" during the long-term isolation and self-deception. This also means that when self-denial is deeply rooted, we may even doubt the authenticity of our innermost emotions, and even ourselves become our most familiar strangers.
Those "holes" bravely opened to connect to the outside world were repeatedly "patched up" after being injured, making the shell even more dilapidated.
Thus, a fatal cycle is formed - building a shell because of different feelings → the isolation of the shell intensifies the alienation → the pain of alienation in turn strengthens the shell. And this soul becomes the builder, prisoner and guard of its own inner prison, a trinity.
Gradually, I was attracted by the most thorough speculation on "alien" identity.
"My shell looks the same and we are aliens, so there is no difference between us? So are our group not the same kind?"
I feel that this seemingly awkward self-question is the key to awakening.
It reveals a truth: when we all regard ourselves as "others", what we share is this "other" experience, and we therefore become the same kind of "others". The sense of belonging we strive for does not lie in smoothing the edges and becoming like everyone else, but in realizing that each person's unique scars and loneliness are precisely the deepest bonds between us.
From this, I think the most powerful statement in the article was born: "I am an alien, and it is only because of this difference between the same kind of people who have the same shell as me that I am an alien."
This is not a play on words, but an existential epiphany - difference is not a flaw, but the only confirmation of individual existence. When this logical singularity is detonated, what follows is the reconstruction of the entire symbolic system.
The "sunshine" that once symbolized external judgment and would burn us will be redefined the moment we decide to "throw away all bonds and shackles."
We can take the initiative to walk into the sun, even if the process is accompanied by severe pain in the membrane and opening, but what we finally feel is no longer destruction, but "rebirth". The "heart" that was once homogeneous with the outer shell and seemed to be deceiving him was instead forged into a "heart" of flesh and blood in the real burning pain.
This once again marks a decisive transition: from an abstract concept of self to finally landing in one's own real life experience.
As a result, my vision and thoughts suddenly became clear as the content of the article progressed.
When we no longer peek into the world through a thick shell, we can see "mountains, lakes, seas, and rivers thousands of miles away."
In fact, this magnificent scene has always existed. What changes is our viewing attitude.
At the end of this article, I saw a wonderful sublimation from the humble feeling of dust to the sense of belonging accepted by the universe. I realized that my existence itself has nothing to do with my coordinates in human society. This has long been a reasonable part of this vast universe.
We are always used to thinking that we first have a different heart before we feel out of place in the world.
But this article tells us that the truth may be that we first accepted the definition of "alien" and then created a "heart" for ourselves that needs to be protected and imprisoned at the same time.
The true awakening and freedom lies in breaking this layer of cause and effect with your own hands and embracing the unique self that belongs to this vast world.
(I don't know what I'm talking about in Jili Guala. I feel like no matter what I write, there seems to be no logic.)
If we are not unique among the crowd, we become mass-produced artifacts.
I really like this article. It feels so in-depth.
Baozi, your article is so well written and profound, I like it 🤗
A very in-depth article. I've been very busy lately, and I've been feeling overwhelmed by some of my own things, and I've had doubts about myself. But after reading this article, I was really touched. (I'm going to switch to a computer to type. I'm afraid my typing speed can't keep up with what's in my mind.
In fact, when I first read this article, I was attracted by the number of words in the article, because I like to read short stories and I can use fragmented time to read them. But when I actually finished reading this inner monologue called "Alien", I felt a lot. I feel that it is less like a carefully polished literary work and more like a stream-of-consciousness movie projected directly on the curtain of the soul. It is full of contradictory images, self-refuting logic, and cries of fragmentation and reorganization. What moved me most about it was not the "alien" tragedy, but the amazing transformation that this soul completed from self-denial to cosmic acceptance in the fire of self-torture. I think this article is actually trying to find a philosophical basis for the identity of "alien" from a macroscopic perspective that is close to the scale of the universe - in the vast space and time, individuals are as insignificant as dust. But this is just a prelude. The real drama lies in the precise structure discovered when digging inward: "Layer upon layer, there is a layer of shell inside", and within the shell is a "heart". I think this may be the most subtle metaphor in the entire article. We usually think that there is a soft and injured "heart" first, and then a hard "shell" has to grow to protect it. However, this short and concise article reveals a more cruel truth: "I can become an alien not because I have this shell, but because I discovered that I am an alien." Only then did I understand that I first had the self-awareness of being "alien" before I built this fortress for defense. And the "heart" that was regarded as the authentic one actually became "like a shell" during the long-term isolation and self-deception. This also means that when self-denial is deeply rooted, we may even doubt the authenticity of our innermost emotions, and even ourselves become our most familiar strangers. Those "holes" bravely opened to connect to the outside world were repeatedly "patched up" after being injured, making the shell even more dilapidated. Thus, a fatal cycle is formed - building a shell because of different feelings → the isolation of the shell intensifies the alienation → the pain of alienation in turn strengthens the shell. And this soul becomes the builder, prisoner and guard of its own inner prison, a trinity. Gradually, I was attracted by the most thorough speculation on "alien" identity. "My shell looks the same and we are aliens, so there is no difference between us? So are our group not the same kind?" I feel that this seemingly awkward self-question is the key to awakening. It reveals a truth: when we all regard ourselves as "others", what we share is this "other" experience, and we therefore become the same kind of "others". The sense of belonging we strive for does not lie in smoothing the edges and becoming like everyone else, but in realizing that each person's unique scars and loneliness are precisely the deepest bonds between us. From this, I think the most powerful statement in the article was born: "I am an alien, and it is only because of this difference between the same kind of people who have the same shell as me that I am an alien." This is not a play on words, but an existential epiphany - difference is not a flaw, but the only confirmation of individual existence. When this logical singularity is detonated, what follows is the reconstruction of the entire symbolic system. The "sunshine" that once symbolized external judgment and would burn us will be redefined the moment we decide to "throw away all bonds and shackles." We can take the initiative to walk into the sun, even if the process is accompanied by severe pain in the membrane and opening, but what we finally feel is no longer destruction, but "rebirth". The "heart" that was once homogeneous with the outer shell and seemed to be deceiving him was instead forged into a "heart" of flesh and blood in the real burning pain. This once again marks a decisive transition: from an abstract concept of self to finally landing in one's own real life experience. As a result, my vision and thoughts suddenly became clear as the content of the article progressed. When we no longer peek into the world through a thick shell, we can see "mountains, lakes, seas, and rivers thousands of miles away." In fact, this magnificent scene has always existed. What changes is our viewing attitude. At the end of this article, I saw a wonderful sublimation from the humble feeling of dust to the sense of belonging accepted by the universe. I realized that my existence itself has nothing to do with my coordinates in human society. This has long been a reasonable part of this vast universe. We are always used to thinking that we first have a different heart before we feel out of place in the world. But this article tells us that the truth may be that we first accepted the definition of "alien" and then created a "heart" for ourselves that needs to be protected and imprisoned at the same time. The true awakening and freedom lies in breaking this layer of cause and effect with your own hands and embracing the unique self that belongs to this vast world. (I don't know what I'm talking about in Jili Guala. I feel like no matter what I write, there seems to be no logic.)
If we are not unique among the crowd, we become mass-produced artifacts.
I really like this article. It feels so in-depth.
Baozi, your article is so well written and profound, I like it 🤗
A very in-depth article. I've been very busy lately, and I've been feeling overwhelmed by some of my own things, and I've had doubts about myself. But after reading this article, I was really touched. (I'm going to switch to a computer to type. I'm afraid my typing speed can't keep up with what's in my mind.