My Fifth Year as Empress

People used to say Xin Yi was blessed. The daughter of a borderland military officer, she had been lucky enough to marry Prince Su as his principal wife. They were young lovers, deeply devoted, and had no one else in their lives for three years of marriage.

Then the late emperor suddenly died, and the Rebellion of the Three Princes left countless dead. Prince Su was the only adult prince left in the imperial family, and he unexpectedly took the throne.

Xin Yi naturally became empress. Their deep affection and his exclusive favor made them a celebrated couple.

But later, everyone laughed at her for thinking she was born to wealth and privilege.

When Liu Zhan first ascended the throne, the Liang clan controlled both the court and the harem. He knelt before Xin Yi and swore, "I am bringing those women into the palace only to balance the court. I will never touch them!"

Xin Yi looked into his tearful eyes and believed him.

Later, she and Consort Liang became pregnant just a month apart. He held her and comforted her: "Don't worry. Our child will be the crown prince one day."

Later still, Consort Liang suffered a miscarriage, and every clue pointed to Xin Yi. She tried desperately to explain, but he held the frail, weeping Consort Liang and said coldly, "Once your child is born, the Liang Empress Dowager will raise it."

She did not even get to see the child before it was hurriedly carried away. Still in confinement, she was banished to the North Palace and placed under house arrest, forbidden to leave without an imperial summons.

Her young son was taken from her, her father and brothers were demoted, and she was confined for three years.

For three years, Xin Yi resented him and hated him. Then, all at once, she understood.

Love was the most useless thing in the world. Power was what mattered.

To return to the palace and reclaim her authority, the Xin family set its sights on Xie Qingyan, a scion of the Xie clan. They deliberately approached him, hoping to make an alliance and use his influence to get her back into the palace.

Xie Qingyan came from one of the most prominent families. From birth, he had been groomed to become its head. He was always courteous yet distant, upright and austere, disciplined and respectful of propriety, a paragon of the great clans in every word and deed.

By the age of twenty, he had already risen to the post of Chancellor and become the Crown Prince's tutor. His future was boundless.

But nobody knew that this young minister harbored an unspeakable secret: he had developed an uncontrollable, forbidden longing for the disgraced empress in the Cold Palace.

At first, he merely pitied her and helped her time and again out of compassion.

He could not say when his pity began to change. Now, Xin Yi entered his dreams every night, and the longing seared his heart more fiercely with each passing day.

Xie Qingyan tried everything to cut off these dark, unorthodox feelings, but all his efforts turned to ash the instant she drew near.

He knew a bottomless abyss lay ahead, yet he willingly inched toward it.

From the moment he met Xin Yi, he had been helplessly sinking with full awareness, and there was no turning back.

One day, Xie Qingyan was sitting alone at home, handling government affairs, when he heard that a young palace attendant had been summoned to spend the night in the palace. The wolf-hair brush in his hand snapped, and his eyes grew so dark and thick they seemed to swallow the light.

Calmly, he set down the brush. The wicked thoughts buried deep within him could no longer be restrained, and burst free of their cage. He had the young attendant intercepted, then took his place and entered the palace himself. He went into the bedchamber already prepared and quietly waited for Xin Yi to arrive.

He wanted Xin Yi to see no one but him from that day onward.

Content warnings:

The heroine is not a virgin, but the hero is. The second male lead wins her. Groveling-to-win-her-back plot. The heroine has a child with the emperor. After returning to the palace, the heroine does not sleep with the emperor again. She only gets together with the hero after the emperor dies.

Theme: Find a way through despair, and never give up.