The Men I Picked Up Are Fighting Over Me

A subversion of the usual "picking up a man" trope: the amnesiac bottom picks up men who haven't lost their memories.

["What you raise doesn't matter, what's important is being the owner" laid-back bottom x 1. ambitious, ill-intentioned adopted son who's a tuxedo cat & 2. rival beagle who pretends at first, then gradually gets carried away]

Blurb:

Gu Li, who lives in an urban village, picked up two men.

One was a rebellious runaway teen with eight piercings in his ears. He bounced around like a tuxedo cat, flighty and jumpy.

The other was handsome and stern, dressed in a suit. Standing by a garbage dump, he told Gu Li he'd lost his memory and needed a place to stay. On his first night there, he broke Gu Li's sofa, with the destructive power of a beagle.

Gu Li was nearly thirty, had no home or job, and made a living walking dogs for office workers. Some days he could barely afford his next meal.

A car accident a year earlier had left him with a huge debt. He couldn't even remember his own name and often had trouble distinguishing reality. The only thing left intact was his movie-star face.

He was already this poor, and still he took in two men at once. The neighbors all thought he'd gone crazy.

Little did they know that, looking at these two incredibly destructive men, Gu Li, whose brain had been damaged in the accident, was thinking:

At last, I've got the perfect pets: they know to come home when it rains and clean up after themselves.

He named the two men Mimi and Wangwang, and successfully settled into life with two pets.

That's right, all Gu Li wanted was to be their owner. His extensive dog-walking experience filled him with confidence about raising pets. Every day, he trained them to follow their owner's rules, turning his tuxedo cat and beagle into perfectly obedient pets.

Having pets of his own made his already pleasant life even more enjoyable.

As Gu Li's brain injury gradually healed, he began to realize there was a problem.

People were different from cats and dogs after all. Cats and dogs were happy as long as their owner stayed with them and they had food to eat, but people weren't so easily satisfied. They wanted too much.

Gu Li wanted to give them up.

But before he could announce that he was giving them up, his tuxedo cat and beagle started fighting over the spot beside him on his four-foot-wide wire bed.

Reader's note:

* A funny, sweet story with an unconventional twist and a healing feel.

* 1v1 ending, with plenty of cat-and-dog battles between the two tops.

* The protagonist is slightly less intelligent than the author, whose intelligence is slightly below average.

Theme: Love life