
If I Don't Like It, Then Everyone Can Die
不合我意,全都去死
by Desperate Wild Boar (绝望的山猪)
- Status
- Ongoing
- Length
- –
- Genre
- Romance
- Era
- Modern Era
- Updated
- –
- Source
- JJWXC
Synopsis
[Full text complete]
World One: Tokyo, This World Is One Giant Mental Asylum
You woke up in a strange place. Something in your head told you that you were a savior, and that it was the System assigned to help you save the world. It chattered away, telling you all about the world, the plot, what you were supposed to do, and so on.
You found it annoying, so you stabbed yourself in the head and pulled the System out, then casually tossed it on the ground.
When you looked up, you saw a little white-haired guy in sunglasses staring at you in shock. He let out a piercing shriek, attracting a black-haired weirdo with bangs who seemed to be a human soundboard, replaying the shriek over and over.
You moved your lips, wanting them to shut up, but your vision went black and you fainted.
You came back to life. The System from your second run was furious and wanted to curse you out. You picked up the knife again, but the little white-haired guy got there first and stopped you.
You turned around and were swallowed whole by a Curse hiding in the shadows. You still weren't dead, though, and figured you were a little hungry, so you cut open the Curse's stomach with your knife and started eating Curse sashimi. You died of poisoning.
You revived in the same spot on your third run. This time, the black-haired guy who had come with the little white-haired one was waiting at your respawn point. He swiftly knocked you out.
You: ?
On your nth run, you picked up a finger-shaped cookie that had fallen to the ground after a Curse was exorcised, then chewed down the King of Curses as a snack.
You were poisoned to death. On your n+1 run, you revived and saw the finger-shaped cookie lying on the ground again...
What is this? I'll try a bite.
On your nth+n run, after being rewound countless times, Ryomen Sukuna healed your body with Reverse Cursed Technique in despair, then was forced to stay inside you and serve a prison sentence.
Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru realized they had a very strange classmate who didn't seem human. They were absurdly powerful, but their brain was completely out of whack, and they often did things that were impossible to make sense of.
Most importantly, every time you managed to get yourself killed, time would inexplicably rewind to a little before your death. Only certain people retained their memories, and unless they could stop you from dying, time would keep rewinding.
Until one day, death no longer triggered a rewind. The stitches on your forehead burst open, revealing a disgusting, slimy brain. Your expression stayed calm, just as it had when you first met them.
"Squelch."
The blade pierced your brain. Your cool voice reached everyone's ears.
"For fuck's sake, what are you yammering about? You're so damn annoying."
World Two: Yokohama, A Guide to Opening a Branch of the Mental Asylum
You lost consciousness. As you slept, there was a racket all around you, and it sounded like someone was about to jump off a building.
"My motto is to greet death in a bright, cheerful, and energetic way... but..."
You were woken up. You aimed at the bandage-wearing guy with the red scarf who kept prattling on but wouldn't jump, and stabbed him. Seeing his shocked expression, you bared your teeth in a sinister smile. "Funny, I have a motto too."
"If it doesn't suit me, everyone can go die."
The System let out a piercing shriek. [Who did you stab?! Who the hell did you stab?! He hadn't finished explaining yet! You fucking killed him?!]
You didn't die, but you successfully started your second run.
On the second run, the bandage guy no longer had a red scarf. Seeing you standing in front of him, he cautiously took a step back.
Ever since he first saw you, he'd had a strange chill around his neck.
World Three: Taisho Era, 108 Ways to Eat a Mental Case
The System in the third world decided it couldn't let you keep doing whatever you wanted. So you became a blue spider lily, unable to eat, drink, move, or even think, until one day a demon's blood seeped into your roots and you instinctively drank it up.
Oh, you'd become sentient, and your appeal to demons was maxed out.
You looked at a passing demon, and a sudden hunger rose inside you.
The demon looked at you: drooling.
You looked at the demon: drooling.
The Demon Slayer Corps watched you and a demon drooling at each other face-to-face: ?
Tanjiro: Let go! I saw you biting Nezuko!!!
Muzan, who had finally found the blue spider lily he'd dreamed of, stared at you, a flower that had not only become sentient but was also drooling at him, and fell into deep thought.
Muzan: ?
You: (wipes mouth) (swallows) (time to eat)
Horrified, he cut you into three pieces, then nervously tried to eat you so he could overcome the sun. The next second, he found that time had inexplicably returned to one minute before your death, and you were flying at him, drooling.
Muzan: ? 666, there's a Gui in the circle, I'm out
After n runs, Muzan finally couldn't cut you up anymore. He despairingly realized that you simply couldn't die, but he still couldn't accept that he truly couldn't eat you, so he dragged the ravenously hungry you back to his lair…
When he woke up, the cage he'd locked you in was empty. His house was bare, and there wasn't a single demon or you in sight. Muzan: ?
Did I get an all-you-can-eat buffet?
Once you'd eaten your fill, a bright idea struck you: you had something good to share! So you happily bundled up an Upper Rank demon and took it back to the Demon Slayer Corps. You approached Genya Shinazugawa, who also ate demons and whom you'd mistaken for one of your kind, and suddenly pulled out a huge demon.
"Want a bite? It's delicious!"
Genya: ?
The next second, the Demon Slayer Corps members came rushing toward the smell and burst through the door, swinging their Nichirin swords.
Watching the dazzling array of Breathing Styles, you: ?
Hey, are we still raising this flower or what?
(World Three is available now in The Taste of Taisho)
Three worlds are currently planned. Detective Conan, Naruto, and others may be added later.
This is a ship-picking story, with a fixed couple at the end. The whole story is in second person, with a slight everyone-loves-the-protagonist angle. The female lead is completely unhinged. She may go on killing sprees, but no important characters will actually die by her hand, since the next second she'll start another run.
There will be scenes where original characters are physically or psychologically tormented. If you can't accept that, don't read. Don't read. Don't read.
Theme: If I'm suffering, no one else gets to be happy.
Tags
- ThemeOther Fanfiction
- POVFemale Lead
- Age18+
- AccessFree
- Anime Crossover
- Bungo Stray Dogs
- Demon Slayer
- Jujutsu Kaisen
- Otome
- Power Fantasy
