I'm Really Gay Now, So Why Aren't You Happy?

Gong Li is a third-rate rising star in the entertainment industry, with nothing going for him except his face. In three years on the job, he has played the lead in every production, and every role has been savaged by netizens as "same old, same old, gay acting." Every character he plays looks like he exists solely to seduce the male supporting character.

In his most popular year, he landed a supporting role alongside Feng Jianshuo, a newly crowned Cannes Best Actor.

The film hadn't even aired, but he was already famous. A photo of the award-winning actor with his hand on Gong Li's waist leaked, and that very night, the trending topics "Damn gay, trying to piggyback on the actor's fame" and "Damn gay! Stay away from him" topped the charts. Gong Li was chased around and cursed for three days and three nights.

Gong Li stayed up for three days fighting netizens: You're gay, your whole family is gay! I'm straight as an arrow!

His agent looked at his dark circles, afraid he might drop dead: Why don't we hire some internet trolls? We have money. You don't have to fight them yourself.

Gong Li: No way. If I back down now, they'll think I'm scared!

At noon, while Gong Li was taking a nap, he and Feng Jianshuo's names were trending again.

Feng Jianshuo liked Gong Li's comment, "I'm straight as an arrow," and replied: Is that so? How about we try being a little gay?

Gong Li took the opening and ran with it, gaining both love and a successful career.

Netizens' hot take: "The male Daji of Chinese entertainment, a whole new direction for gayness."

Gong Li: "Tsk! I told you I'm not gay. Now that I really am gay, you're not happy. Fans these days are so hard to please!"

Theme: Love others and love yourself