The Buddhist Heir of Beijing Meets the Eldest Son of the Northeast

Check out my upcoming novel, "The Battle for the Peak of Queerbaiting": an outwardly well-behaved but ferociously sharp-tongued novelist bottom x a mischievous, scheming comic artist top.

One-line summary: We straight men don't understand queerbaiting.

Picky, brilliant, universally adored bottom x witty punster, meme king, devoted husband top

From universally hated to universally adored: send them all to the crematorium!

Pei Yanchi, an outstanding finance graduate from C University, worked at a banking and insurance regulator. He worked hard overtime until he suddenly died, only to wake up as the aloof Buddhist gentleman of Beijing's elite in a melodramatic rich-family novel.

Life was rough for the Buddhist gentleman: people coveted his inheritance, he was a pawn in an arranged marriage, and he died horribly in the end.

Pei Yanchi: "Hold on, what Buddhist gentleman? I'm a Communist Party member! And wait, why am I getting married in the opening chapter?!"

After living as the Buddhist gentleman for a few days, Pei Yanchi realized that this guy was pretty universally hated.

A month later.

Something about this universally hated plot seemed off.

His nominal partner's tough-guy bodyguard pulled a large handful of candies from his pocket when Pei Yanchi had a bout of hypoglycemia. "I got these for you."

His fair-weather friend, who was at odds with him in public and in private, clung to him and sobbed after getting drunk. "Why? Why did you have to get married?!"

Even his unrelated younger brother, who wanted him dead, stared at him with bloodshot eyes and demanded, "Who are you, really? Why can't you look at me, just once?!"

*

Zeng Xiaoye, aka a real Northeastern man, couldn't stand that Panjiayuan street vendor with the prayer beads and fancy way of speaking. And now he was supposed to marry the guy?

In this modern socialist society, who would dare force anyone into marriage? If nobody else wanted him, Zeng Xiaoye didn't either!

Oh, but for a ticket into Beijing's elite circles... maybe he could put up with it?

Pei Yanchi's view of Zeng Xiaoye: a Northeastern pretty boy who married up.

Zeng Xiaoye's view of Pei Yanchi: some guy who sells things at Panjiayuan.

A month later, Zeng Xiaoye suddenly thought, "How can this street vendor be so damn sweet?"

Wait a minute! Weren't we supposed to be universally hated? Why are there so many people, from the bodyguard to that college guy, looking at my wife like that?!

"Why Does That Bodyguard Keep Fishing for My Wife's Favorite Foods?"

"Why Does That Annoying College Guy Keep Texting My Wife Goodnight?"

"And that... Wait! Isn't that the kid we adopted? Why is he clinging to my wife too?!"

Zeng Xiaoye: "Could you buy fewer of those mosquito coils? The whole house is filled with smoke! Anyone would think this was the Peach Banquet!"

Pei Yanchi: "Don't like it? Then you can move out."

Zeng Xiaoye: "I'm not leaving this house! Who knows if someone else might move in!"

Pei Yanchi: "...You're crazy."

Zeng Xiaoye: "Don't believe me? I'll message everyone right now and tell them you're single. Let's see if anyone contacts you in five minutes!"

Pei Yanchi looked at his phone, which was buzzing nonstop. ...That idiot was actually right?

Skits, Part 2:

Zeng Xiaoye crouched on the floor and gazed up at Pei Yanchi, eyes full of longing. "Wifey, why are you always chanting sutras?"

Pei Yanchi lowered his lashes slightly and planted a foot on Zeng Xiaoye's shoulder. "Because I'm sick."

Zeng Xiaoye grabbed Pei Yanchi by the ankle. "What?! If you're sick, let's go to the hospital!"

Pei Yanchi: "...I have a very great illness."

Zeng Xiaoye: "Great? How can an illness be great?"

Later, when Zeng Xiaoye finally learned the truth, he grinned from ear to ear and savored it with satisfaction. "Great. It's truly amazing!"

Please note:

This story is purely for fun and makes no ill will toward people from any region. The characters are good and bad; it's all for the sake of the plot. Please don't take it as a reflection of real life, and don't start arguments or attack anyone.

1. This is a nonsense comedy written to help the author unwind after a crisis of faith. It won't be long. The logic is nonexistent, so don't think too hard. The bottom has a universally adored quality, but never has physical contact with anyone else.

2. Two powerful men acting out their daily lives: the Buddhist gentleman, "I'm too weak to take care of myself," and the legitimate eldest son, "I don't know anything." The bottom has the greatest illness of all. Both are each other's first love, and neither has been with anyone else.

3. The original plot falls apart so badly even the author wouldn't recognize it. There's no logic, just good times and sweet romance!

4. There will be lots of Northeastern dialect. I'll explain any especially unusual phrases in notes, like this.

Written on May 26, 2025. Screenshot saved.

"Countering Instructions" is a dual-male-lead infinite-flow novel. As well as achieving commercial success, it sparked widespread discussion about the relationship between its two male leads.

In response, the author, Fu Lechu, said, "My novel explores the trust between men who share life and death."

A reader pulled out the book and pointed to a bathroom scene. "Does this part about 'their fingers intertwined in the mist' count as sharing life and death, too?"

Fu Lechu adjusted his glasses. "They'd just finished an adventure. They were a little traumatized."

The reader pressed on. "So them sleeping in the same bed is a trauma response, too?"

Fu Lechu nodded solemnly. "Yes. They need to comfort each other."

*

"Oracle" is a full-color comic. Its beautiful character designs and distinctive art style have kept it at the top of the charts for years, while the relationship between its two male leads has attracted countless fans who subscribe to create fanworks.

In response, the artist, Ye Feng, said, "I draw nothing but pure brotherly affection. Don't ship them."

His editor, on the verge of a breakdown, asked, "Teacher Ye, what exactly did you mean by drawing him panting as he yanks open his tie?"

Ye Feng crossed his legs. "I wanted to show off the lighting technique I just learned."

The editor asked, "Teacher Ye, was it really necessary to draw a close-up of their fingers interlaced here?"

Ye Feng took a sip of cola. "I've always paid attention to the details."

One day, Fu Lechu and Ye Feng collaborated.

*

On the surface:

"We're just being meticulous about our work."

"This is normal interaction between men. Don't read too much into it."

In reality:

Fu Lechu repeatedly revised the scene where "A runs into B's arms" late into the night.

Ye Feng practiced a "brotherly arm around the waist" in front of a mirror for reference.

Then, on the day the work was due...

Ye Feng stumbled across Fu Lechu's computer search history:

"What gestures between men are the most suggestive?"

Fu Lechu discovered a stack of danmei comics hidden on Ye Feng's bookshelf.

One night, Ye Feng took the initiative and knocked on Fu Lechu's study door.

He closed in step by step, cornering Fu Lechu against the wall. "Teacher Fu, I heard you've been researching 'the suggestive tension between men.' Want to have an academic discussion with me?"

Reading Guide

1. Two masters of playing it cool go head to head at their peak. Don't ask. The answer is, "We straight men don't understand queerbaiting."

2. The author's logic is dead. Any professional knowledge about drawing is made up.

3. The top likes to tease people and isn't the typical upright, heroic sort. The bottom seems cute and clueless, but is actually ferociously sharp-tongued. Both are each other's first love.

4. Not suitable for extreme top-focused or bottom-focused readers. I'm afraid of getting yelled at, too.

5. There's an identity reveal. Don't ask what identity gets revealed. Just know that there is one!

Theme: Live well and look forward to the future.