I Was Once a Courtesan in the Inner Palace

You are the young emperor who fought through the bloody struggle among nine princes to seize the throne. After ten years of campaigns, all under Heaven tremble before you. Who but you deserves to be called an emperor for the ages?

Just as you turn your sword toward the last remaining territory, the High Priest's curse throws you into the enemy emperor's harem.

To be precise, the Cold Palace.

The good news: from the start, you get a handsome, dark-skinned, white-haired wolf-eared guy with a huge chest (an UR-rank god card).

The bad news: if you don't return home within three years, your soul will scatter and vanish.

Your plan to return home (and watch it slowly fall apart):

Step 1: Find out the former archrival enemy emperor's... preferences?

Step 2: Win over the icy chancellor, persuade the God of War general to defect, goad the yandere crown prince into patricide and rebellion... Wait, does everyone in this country like men?

...???

After eighty-one trials, you finally make it home! Your younger brother, who has governed in your stead for three years, comes to meet you.

Once, he begged you to spare his life: "I would gladly serve you as a slave, Brother."

Now he smiles and says, "Your Imperial Majesty's crown should be replaced with a phoenix coronet."

Because you, a straight man, keep throwing yourself into matters of state, you eventually discover in despair that if you want to be the man who conquers the world, you must first conquer the men of the world.

Theme: We speak of imperial ambitions with a laugh, but nothing beats getting drunk on the pleasures of life. Though after sobering up, your butt hurts.