How to Be a Proper Heartthrob

A friend gave Tsukino Shu a new game that hadn't been released yet. It was called Card-Clearing Simulator.

To escape the troubles of reality, Tsukino Shu spent the next few months immersed in the game, reaching all kinds of bizarre endings.

Ending One: For Whom the Funeral Bell Tolls

As a beginner, he was troubled for a long time by the Kill Card he'd drawn by chance. The NPCs seemed so real that he couldn't bring himself to kill anyone. So he used the Kill Card on himself, ending his first playthrough by taking his own life in front of his classmates and teachers.

When he logged out of the game, he still remembered the look in the Yuji NPC's wide eyes, and the hot tears that had fallen on the back of his hand.

The NPCs seemed to think his technique involved making a deal with the devil. They thought he'd drawn this seemingly impossible golden Kill Card because he wanted to protect his classmates.

"If you really can't go on living, you could kill me instead! Why did you have to kill yourself?" the Yuji NPC shouted in his ear.

Ending Two: The Proper Way to Use Cursed Spirits

For his second playthrough, he chose the cursed spirit faction. His cursed spirit companions all thought he was a special-grade cursed spirit born from humanity's fear of the devil.

He still couldn't bring himself to kill people, and he didn't want to kill his cursed spirit companions either. His friend told him he wasn't suited to a high-realism VR game like this, but he thought the game suited him just fine.

Then, during a mission against sorcerers, he was abandoned while covering their retreat. Honestly, being burned to ash by the sun didn't feel very nice.

As he lay dying, he thought cursed spirits were far more cold-blooded than humans. He should've used cursed spirits to clear the Kill Card. He still had several of them!

Even as he was dying, the blue-haired special-grade cursed spirit remained as cold as ever. "Why didn't you say sooner that you were afraid of sunlight? That's hilarious. You're the devil, aren't you? You'd be better off dying by my hand than getting burned to death."

He was a little hurt.

Ending Three: It's Just a Game

His friend apparently hadn't expected him to have such a miserable time playing, and told him that he didn't need to treat the NPCs like real people.

He got it. He started a new save and did all kinds of terrible things to clear his cards. Any NPC who dared cross him got dealt with using a Kill Card. He lowered the favorability of the Yuji NPC, who'd once liked him, all the way into the negatives, becoming the Voldemort of the jujutsu world. No one dared speak his real name.

On the twentieth day in the game, he cleared every card and set a new record for the fastest card-clearing run in the whole game.

He earned a lot of achievements in that playthrough. Using a frail, sickly body, he established a new nation in the decaying jujutsu world. But because he died so quickly, the ending wasn't great.

"Didn't you say you were going to build a new order?" The NPCs who'd helped him clear his Lust Cards gripped his cold, stiff hand and stared at him in a daze.

He hadn't even given these NPCs a name for their relationship before he died, but who cared? He'd completely let himself go. Wasn't it only natural for a player to be a playboy?

"Boss! Boss, don't die!" the sorcerers he'd recruited with his Conquest Card wailed by his grave.

His underlings were dumb, but they were obedient.

"Hey, boss! Big bro! At least settle your tab first!" The distraught nightclub owner knelt in front of his gravestone and sobbed. He'd cleared a lot of Extravagance Cards at the club. He'd also discovered a bug: as long as he wore the title "Uncrowned King of the Jujutsu World," he could get everything for free, order a whole bunch of handsome men, and not pay a cent.

"Tch, how am I supposed to get free drinks now that you're dead?" the Heavenly Restriction Tyrant muttered at his grave. In the end, he spent his last few yen on a bouquet and stood quietly by the grave for a long time before saying, "...Don't become a sorcerer in your next life."

Anyway, getting into nightclubs for free was pretty great, and the owner's cries were especially music to his ears. He liked that. But why did that Fushiguro NPC with a scar at the corner of his mouth keep taking advantage of his free tab? And after using the free tab twice, he automatically got tagged as part of the player's faction.

Ending Four...

He also started a lot of saves to test different choices. His brilliant childhood friend, who was so clever he seemed almost demonic, marveled, "It's rare to see you so persistent."

Tsukino Shu huffed. "Didn't you give me this game, Dazai? If I don't play it seriously, you'll be upset, right?"

Dazai smiled at that, but there was no mirth in his eyes. Tsukino Shu didn't notice. He dragged Dazai along to copy homework from the school bully, Chuuya. Of course, he and Chuuya were copying Dazai's homework together.

"Hey, Shu!" Tsukino Shu saw the orange-haired high schooler waving at him from over there. "Want to play basketball?"

He dragged the reluctant Dazai over to play. As usual, Dazai made zero shots, and only managed to get one in after Tsukino Shu guided his hands through the shot.

P.S. The card-clearing system is from The Sultan's Game. It's a lot of fun, and if you have no conscience, you can get all kinds of interesting endings, though it does put your conscience to the test. Aside from the card-clearing system, this story has nothing to do with The Sultan's Game.

The following are original elements of this fanfiction:

Kill Card: Clear it by killing people or cursed spirits.

Extravagance Card: Clear it by spending lavishly.

Lust Card: Clear it by sleeping with someone. There is more than one Lust Card, and you can't clear multiple cards with the same person, so this story has temporary 1v1 relationships.

Conquest Card: For example, if the player conquers the jujutsu world, they can clear one Conquest Card this way.

Every so often, the player has to draw a card. They might draw a Kill Card, Lust Card, Extravagance Card, or Conquest Card. If they don't clear the card, they die.

Content warning: The player is softhearted at first, but turns dark later. Maximum attractiveness, naturally a playboy, and develops intimate relationships with lots of people.

Theme: Spread kindness and beauty