Mafia, It Isn't Even Raining Outside!

Also known as: After Learning to Be an Assassin, I Got Sandwiched Between My Adoptive Brothers

"Big brothers, you really were lying to me."

"I only realized after I escaped outside Yokohama that it wasn't raining at all!"

After that, Mishima Hijirikawa deleted all the words in the chat box, just like she always did.

She left all the messages on Line on read, dropped out of school without leaving herself a way back, and spent her days in a pitch-black rental apartment. She was truly awful. She escaped from Yokohama Chinatown to Tokyo, then fled again to Ikebukuro in the suburbs, finally managing to live the quiet life she'd always wanted.

There was a reason for it:

Her father was a foolish troublemaker, which made him easy to kill.

He was a good-for-nothing in the mafia, which made him easy to kill.

Her childhood-friend adoptive brothers told her, "Stay with us in the mafia. We'll protect you."

Then one of them killed the other's boss father and burned down his house.

Mishima Hijirikawa thought she'd gotten away just in time. :D

That was, until she found out the convenience store owner next door had a ten-billion bounty on his head, and getting lunch meat dragged her into a battlefield.

Her former boss, passing by for no apparent reason, picked up his old job of selling crepes and invited her to come back and cut strawberries.

Mishima: I can't do this anymore.jpg

*

If I can't escape, then I won't.

She returned, having mastered the skills of an assassin: Hello, childhood friend A, who became a boss and started doing every kind of evil, and childhood friend B, who vanished without a trace and then suddenly showed up again.

Mishima Hijirikawa took a breath, then let it out. "I've come to take you two down using the skills I learned from another group of assassins. You'd better make up, or you'll die."

Childhood friends x2: It's dangerous outside, hurry home, go home, go home, go home, go home, go home, go home... I'll protect you, I'll protect you, I'll protect you, I'll protect you, I'll protect you... Stay with us, okay? Stay with us, okay? Stay with us, okay? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay...

*

Things you can expect to see in this story, and potential content warnings:

Two gloomy, obsessive childhood-friend men sandwiching the protagonist

Ridiculous, tasteless jokes

An avoidant, painfully angsty romantic tug-of-war

Various degrees of mistreatment and loser portrayals of characters from the original work

The protagonist's dark, negative emotions

Also:

1. A dream-novel protagonist who can be paired with anyone, please mind the boundaries.

2. Kindergarten Wars meets Sakamoto Days, with a heavily altered setting.

3. Please, please add it to your favorites.

Theme: Uh, things will get better.