Three Hundred Thousand Consorts in the Harem

Rong Fang transmigrated.

The good news: he's the emperor, and his harem is overflowing!

Rong Fang, whose mind is full of yellow thoughts: ...Ahem!

He thought he'd stumbled into some trashy erotic novel, only to hear that his harem had three hundred thousand beauties.

That's right, not three thousand, but a full three hundred thousand.

Rong Fang: ???

Rong Fang: !!!

An army of a hundred thousand could conquer the Central Plains. With three hundred thousand people in his harem alone, wouldn't conquering the universe be a piece of cake?

Before he could celebrate, he discovered that the original owner had a "special" hobby: bestowing consort ranks.

Men and women, young and old, even a litter of newborn mice in the Cold Palace had all been granted the rank of concubine.

Rong Fang, struck as if by lightning: ...Is he sick?!

So...

Rong Fang tasted a osmanthus pastry and nodded with satisfaction. "Mmm, this chef is good. He deserves a reward!"

The burly head chef of the Imperial Kitchen, also a First-Class Attendant, hurriedly knelt. "Your Majesty, this concubine thanks you for your gracious favor!"

Rong Fang: ...

Rong Fang made a couple of kissing noises at a little dog, then accidentally got chased for three whole blocks.

The little eunuch ran after him, shouting, "Lady Li, please calm down! Don't bite the imperial body!"

Rong Fang went undercover to visit the general's residence.

The old master, well past seventy and silver-haired, emerged leaning on his cane and trembling as he paid his respects. "Your humble consort greets Your Majesty."

Rong Fang: ...

The original owner really did a number on me!

After "secretly meeting" hundreds of people in a single day, Rong Fang collapsed onto his bed and began seriously questioning his life.

The little eunuch asked softly, "Your Majesty, whose name will you draw tonight?"

Rong Fang couldn't think of anyone, so he answered offhandedly, "The Empress, then."

And then he saw a face exactly like his own boss's.

Rong Fang's legs went weak, and he nearly fell to his knees.

Rong Fang, trembling: ...M-Mr. Ji, you're personally attending me tonight?!

--

All across the land, people were saying that the Empress, neglected for years, had recently become the talk of the town.

He had to attend the Emperor every night. Even if the Emperor hid in his study, the Empress would charge in and carry him back to the imperial bed.

He'd even meddled in government affairs. Every day or two, he'd either help the Emperor review memorials or rule from behind the curtain. The Emperor, meanwhile, had been reduced to fishing, feeding birds, and keeping crickets!

What was this, if not a wicked consort bringing ruin to the kingdom?

--

Meanwhile, in the bedroom...

Rong Fang, huddled in the corner: Mr. Ji, can we make a deal? Could you sleep by yourself tonight? I really don't want to give another report in the middle of the night.

Ji Jingxian, calmly stripping him and pinning him down in one smooth motion: Refuse me one more time, and I'll dock your pay.

Rong Fang, the little miser, caught with nowhere to run: Waaah QAQ

--

* The top is cold and composed on the surface, but flamboyant to the extreme inside; the bottom is quick with a cheeky remark, but actually an innocent, pure-hearted straight guy

* These two are definitely a pair of idiots in love

* This is a silly comedy written for fun, so please don't overthink the logic or historical setting owo

Theme: Treating everyone as equals