Killing a God

Pei Dongshan, who had starved to death, studied hard in the underworld for three years and finally landed a management job at the Upper Realm's Office of Ancient Gods. It was only a temporary position, but the job was famously easy across the Three Realms. Pei Dongshan planned to coast along, but after he took office, his transfer order arrived faster than Granny Meng could send someone to reincarnate.

He was seconded to the Erdaogouzi Lower Realm Field Office for three years.

"After your secondment, you may transfer to a permanent position in the Upper Realm, enjoy an unlimited supply of incense offerings, and receive a divine title."

Pei Dongshan took one look at the dazzling benefits of becoming a permanent employee and hurried back to the mortal world that very night, carrying the Handbook for Revitalizing Mountain Villages.

As the three-year term neared its end, he was about to become a permanent employee and return to his original department when the Upper Realm sent down the glittering permanent-position assessment. The golden scroll contained only four words: Kill Qi Chao.

Who was Qi Chao?

The ninth immortal since the creation of the world, and the only ancient god left in the New God Realm.

Pei Dongshan was dumbfounded.

He looked at his own skinny arms and legs, then thought of the greatest God of War under Heaven, as described in the classics. For the sake of his life, he decided to run.

But then fortune smiled on him, and Pei Dongshan learned that the God of War Qi Chao had lost his divine essence and become mortal. He now went by Qi Jiu.

Bad news: Even like this, Pei Dongshan probably still couldn't beat him.

Good news: His target was farming in the Lower Realm, on the very fields assigned to Erdaogouzi.

With the mindset that a ghost stays a ghost even after dying, Pei Dongshan returned to the human world to look for a way to survive.

He never expected the God of War's new career to be so... unconventional.

The man in the field wore a stretched-out old man's undershirt. His shoulder muscles looked strong enough to crack walnuts, and a big yellow dog stood beside him. When he saw Pei Dongshan, he grinned. "You must be Director Pei, the new arrival in Erdaogouzi!"

Pei Dongshan watched sweat roll down the man's bronze skin. Through the enormous gap between his skin and the old man's undershirt, big enough to open a fried chicken shop, Pei Dongshan could see all the way through (?! What exactly was he looking at?).

So much for the mighty God of War. His muscles were certainly beautiful, though...

Wait, was that really the important thing right now?

Also, that big yellow dog beside you is a Qiongqi, damn it!

Qi Jiu's fields were always bustling with activity:

A Qiongqi cub, raised as an ordinary dog, chased people all over the place. A Xuan Bird disguised as a pheasant snuck over every night to steal spirit grain. The ancient ferocious beast Taowu rolled around in the fields wearing a wild boar hide.

The overworked Pei Dongshan clutched his copy of the Handbook of Modern Agricultural Technology, distraught.

"What the hell are all these things you're raising in your fields?"

Qi Jiu brought his knife down and slaughtered a white-furred Nieshou.

"Director, try the braised rabbit heads I just learned to make!"

Pei Dongshan: ...

Well, things had come to this. He might as well eat first.

It's delicious!

Qi Chao had many dreams.

Sometimes he dreamed of an ancient battlefield drenched in blood, where he stood atop a mound of corpses with nothing but a bloodstained long saber in his hand.

Sometimes he dreamed of a farmhouse courtyard filled with curling smoke, where he stood by the stove with a noisy, talkative person behind him.

In his strangest dream, a prickly little underworld officer burrowed into his arms, stuffing his mouth with food and muttering, "I'll kill you as soon as I get the chance."

Then one day, chaos parted, and his memories came rushing back like a tide.

A saber rested against his heart as he slept. Pei Dongshan rolled over and pinned him in his arms. His gaze was deep as he kissed the somewhat familiar blade. "If you want to kill me, why do you need a saber?"

Pei Dongshan grumpily drove a knee into his stomach, kicked him, then rolled over and went back to sleep.

"A birthday present for you: one busted saber. Go on, hug it and kiss it. Take it or leave it!"

Qi Jiu's eyes narrowed. The saber he'd taken from Pei Dongshan was the divine weapon Minghong, which had accompanied him through countless battles.

Sharp-tongued foodie bottom x taciturn God of War top. Falling in love with a god destined to die.

[Reader's Guide]

1. Mutual firsts, happy ending.

2. Calling him a farming old man is just an expression. Qi Jiu is still muscular in his transformed human form, and he loves wearing old men's undershirts.

3. The first draft of this blurb was written on February 11, 2025. I'll add revisions as the story develops.

Theme: Time cannot wear away love